Were we drug addicts?

by new hope and happiness 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • new hope and happiness
    new hope and happiness

    I imagine drug addicts have a similar adiction. You can not imagine life without a fix. Or was it we had addictive personalities? Deep down we had to go to meetings week in week out, year after year. Slowely we weaned ourselfs off it with disencharntment and finding other obsessions like anger and hatred for our addiction the Watchtower.

    Now i am at a stage iam not even intersted in doctrine or the bible, nor adding opinions on new light.

    Iam free of my drug addiction partly due to using this site as a spunding board.

    I revisited this site 2 weeks ago and my many " new topics" mainly hit double plus pages.


    Because i think the subjects i wrote about were more subjective and people responded to intresting thoughts non watchtower related.

    Whatever, but when i joined this site i never thought id get to this stage, I AM FREE of my WATCHTOWER addiction.

    Can anyone relate?

  • OneEyedJoe

    I'm not sure I'd describe it as an addiction, since it never caused the slightest bit of dopamine release (unless you count when I left the KH after the meetings, now that was always a relief) it was more of an imprisonment. I couldn't shake the indoctrination from birth and trust myself to realize that it was all made up BS. Just before my baptism I was so close to escaping, but my father put just the right amount of pressure on just the right emotional spot that I got pulled back under, but I was never unable to imagine life without it. I would frequently wish for a life without it. I would think to myself "I wish it wasn't the truth." Then once I freed myself enough look at appostate websites, I got that wish.

  • new hope and happiness
    new hope and happiness

    Oneeyejoe:- lovely post.

    Maybe i overdramatised it?

    But its a dream come true being FREE, having learnt what i have learnt about " the truth" on this site.

    Daddy, Daddy..where is armageddon?

    Respect people AND we can respect people who believe foolish things.

    That i find sad and positive.

  • Fernando

    I do believe so NHAH.

    The same mechanics at work, at least in part.

    That is one reason why it is hard to help family and friends that are still trapped.

  • OneEyedJoe

    I don't think you were necessarily being overly dramatic. I'm certain that the experience is very much like a drug to many people, but as a born-in that had reservations about the cult since my early teens it was never like that for me. I will admin when I was 11 or 12, it was GREAT "knowing" that I at that age knew more about the bible than any worldly person. I can see how someone might get addicted to that feeling, especially if they're unsuccessful or powerless in other areas of their life (not saying this applies to you, but it definitely applies to most of the super-zealous dubs that I know). I suspect that if I hadn't had such success in school, and found a career that I'm good at and enjoy, I might never have had the stability elsewhere in my life to let go of the false superiority that the cult can give people.

    My theory has always been that most people are just striving for some sort of significance in the world. Some find that through direct violence, others through being charitable, some through hard work in a carreer to make something. For someone who doesn't have the confidence that they can be significant elsewhere in life, a cult that tells you that you're one of 0.1% of the world that's found the right religion can be that significance. Of course, it helps that the cult systematically tries to remove any self confidence from you and forces you to believe that the only way you can be significant is through the cult. So for someone trapped in and fully indoctrinated, I have no doubt that the experience can be very much like that of a drug.

    I think I was just "lucky" that I'm completely socially inept, and can only rarely pick up on normal social cues. I think that's what kept me from becoming fully indoctrinated so I never really invested in the "everything you achieve is really because of Jehovah's blessing" mantra. I knew I'd achieved everything with no supernatural assistance, and I deserved success. After I realized that, every push to conform just pushed me a little further away. I found significance outside the cult, so I never needed it...I was just trapped.

    So to sum up a much longer post than I expected (sorry) I think your observation is absolutely valid, I was just describing my experience which was quite different.

  • new hope and happiness
    new hope and happiness

    I asked my Witness friends many times for some concrete evidence and realised they were were just hiding, and too busy with theogratic activities too open there eyes. At first i thought this was an accident but now i realize they didnt want to open there eyes. Sad.

    I liked the good people ive met here in the last two weeks but i realise now its time to lieave the J.W behind me...forever.

  • Dis-Member

    I feel so similar.. I no longer have the obsessional fascination with the org is up to.. nor in what they are saying, printing, doing or claiming. I no longer obsess over posts here critiquing or analysing them either as I just am not interested any more. It's no longer any part of my life. It means about as much to me as watching paint dry. Zero. I'm so over it.

    I can liken it to a relationship that has ended painfully but now I really don't feel a thing for that person any more.

    And yes this site was a great aid in weaning me off my Org dependancy and I am very grateful to everyone's contributions for that.

    I'm Free!!!

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