Been gone a while, but feel the need for support again

by megsmomma 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • megsmomma
    megsmomma

    my jw daughter is getting close to being 18, and she was baptized at the ripe old age of 11.... So I feel like the shunning is coming. My sister is also on the verge of getting baptized, even though I have been able to show her many things about the watchtower proving it is full of lies, she is still falling for it. She spoke to an elder about the shunning policy, saying she wouldn't join if she would have to stop speaking to me....and they said they couldn't make her do anything...so she took it as them not caring if she speaks to me. I think she has been love bombed so long while she sat on the fence, and has no idea the pressure to conform that is coming once she commits.

    Anyhow, as much as I'd like the whole cult to be behind me forever, with family in....they still have such a hold on my life.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    LOL wait until your sister finds out the other half of "we can't tell you what to do"... but if you ignore our spirit led counsel we can reprove you, mark you, right up to shunning you ourselves.

  • megsmomma
    megsmomma

    Yes, I am almost looking forward to her being able to see the real deal....but sad because it could mean years of our lives apart. She has always thought that when I was in, I took it too seriously, and she is a more balanced person in her head. Baptism changes it all!

  • cultBgone
    cultBgone

    They are baptized in the Kool Aid. What do you think your sister will do once they pull her in the back room and "suggest" that she no longer associate with you?

  • megsmomma
    megsmomma

    You know, thats a good question.....that may be enough for her to see they lie and open her eyes. I think it just depends on how long after she's baptized they have that talk....how brainwashed she is by then.

  • TableForOne
    TableForOne

    I'm sorry to hear about your circumstances.

    Could you not share with your sister, some real life experiences found in recent copies of the WT?

    WT 15th April 2012 Page 12, paragrapgh 17.

    A real life examlpe of how "a young man", also a disfellowshipped family member, was treated for over 10 years.

    "...to their credit, each member of the family was steadfast in not having any contact with him."

    .

    WT 15th June 2013 Page 28, paragraph 17.

    In real life example number 2, Robert was df'd for almost 16 years...

    "during which time his parents and siblings firmly and loyally applied the direction in God's Word to quit mixing in company with wrongdoers, not even greeting such ones."

    .

    If you choose not to share this with your loved ones now, maybe a loving, kindly elder will, AFTER your sister's baptism has taken place?

    Good luck.

    TF1

  • megsmomma
    megsmomma

    I did send her copies of those articles that I cut and pasted from jwfacts. I want her to know that no matter what a certain elder may tell you at the time, their doctrine includes shunning. I also sent her the peice the elders manual has about how to handle people who speak to df'd relatives. I just hope it doesn't bite me in the butt later if she thinks of me as an opposer and apostate instead of the sister who cares about her.

  • shopaholic
    shopaholic

    Hi Megs, what's your sister's reason for getting baptized? Even though you're out is your daughter still a believer? This would have been a perfect out for a teen.

  • Crazyguy
    Crazyguy

    show her stuff from the bible this will show how they are wrong, read her Matt chapter 5, also 1 corithians is good at showing how there is no one only god religion and we should put no importance into our leaders.

  • megsmomma
    megsmomma

    You know how they get you while you're down? My sister has had some rough years. She's always been one foot in, one foot out, depending on what's happening in her life. She lives close to my mom....who is a jw and shuns me. Well, after a 2 nd failed marriage, she started going to more meetings and studying. Everyone is so nice to her....then she met a sisters son. ( he is 25, she is 36 with 4 kids from 18-4) He is baptized, but had left after a divorce himself, and was doing his own thing (partying, living with girls, ect) but not df'd cause they never caught up with him. He ended up moving back in with his jw parents when he got injured doing construction. So, they meet (she knew him when he was 13 and she was 24 with 3 kids, going to meetings off and on) So, they meet and he starts going back to meetings, talked to the elders and they didn't df him...they just wanted him to come back...so now they are dating for the past couple months...but his family is not too thrilled cause she's not baptized and they're hiding what they're doing, but probably will get married next month ( so they can do the big IT...know what I mean?) He had no career, because being raised in the "truth" he wasn't allowed to go to college, he has no car, but he did get a waiter job. She has 4 kids, 3 different dads, and lives off child support...which she just lost on opt he 18 yr old. So, the religion makes her feel like if she does this relationship jehovahs way, it will be good....the religion makes her feel special and like she's better than what her life is...and gives her reasons not to go to school, or support herself...the end is coming. So, that's her motivation. What can go wrong? Lol!

    My 16 yr old is in it and so is ALL her family on her elder dads side. There is a long story there that I think I've told, but basically I had post partum depression, and about that time the generation doctrine changed, which threw me for a loop...basically I couldn't be a jw anymore, but thought I was as good as dead, and didn't want her to die with me...so I left her with her dad. I couldn't support her with no education or job. Thankfully, my life has been stable and good the past 10 years, since I discovered the truth about the truth...so I've been able to provide a good home for her to come visit send see we are godo people....but I know there will be tons of pressure on her when she turns 18... It is heart breaking.

    Thars why I can't just wipe my hands of this religion.

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