A good feeling

by backformore 4 Replies latest jw friends

  • backformore

    So I'm back on here after being away for years. I joined back up to vent about problems I was having with family but I thought I'd share a good experience I had on here too.

    My old congregation was on one corner of a city block that was primarily owned by the local community college. As the college grew they started buying more and more property around them which means they eventually bought my old KH. Unfortunately, they didn't tear it down to make more parking like I had hoped. What they did do, however was completely redo the building into office space and then used the parking for the school. Now, I moved away from that town years ago. However, my family and my wife's family all still live within a few minutes drive of there. When we were back visiting one weekend I just happened to be driving by and saw a large dumpster outside that hellhole. I pulled into the parking lot and checked out the dumpster. Inside were a bunch of the old furnishings and decorations that I recognized from years before back when I was a member of that congregation. I started off just messing around and breaking some of the things I saw in there. As good as that felt, I eventually just started going nuts demolishing everything I could get my hands on until I was sore from the sheer physical exertion of it all. I know how crazed I must sound going on about destroying stuff that was already in a dumpster but the feelings of soreness from pushing my body so hard to destroy what once marked the areas that made my life as a teen so horrible felt amazing. To everyone here who went through even a fraction of what I did, I hope you can all one day get that satisfaction of personally destroying physical property like I did. Its hard to find the words to describe just exactly how good something like that can feel and what it can do for your psyche.

  • outforever

    It just shows us / all of us on here - just how our psyche is effected. No one will understand unless they were jw's.

    Years ago I put out a cig by their front door - stupid but it felt good - they next thing we know (it was my daughter and myself) they put up a fence right around the hall - so no one could get in - unless it was meeting nights / days and the gates would open up.

  • Pistoff

    That sounds like great fun!

  • jgnat

    Hubby used to start fires in the local dump.

  • millie210

    Welcome back! Your actions make perfect sense to me.

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