Shunned from Sister's wedding reception CONCLUSION

by Quotes 7 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Quotes
    Quotes

    For Part 1:
    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=23578&site=3

    For PART 2:
    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=23923&site=3

    For Part 3:
    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=24021&site=3

    Well, the much anticipated event happened this past weekend. Here, in brief, is what happened:

    My wife didn't go, I went solo (she was working and not really feeling compelled to fight to take time off).

    The ceremony was in a city over two hours from my house. I was 50 minutes late, due to a combination of not being sent a map to the KH (maps come with invitations, which I did not receive!) and problems at MapBlast.com. I got to the KH just in time to hear the applause *AFTER* they first kiss as husband and wife. I would have seen the first kiss, but when I parked the car and rushed up to the door, THE DOORS AT THE KINGDOM HALL WERE LOCKED!!!! (Sort of like the Davidian compound at Waco Texas).

    So I managed to avoid having to sit through the 45min religion commercial, but had a good legitimate excuse too! My brother D____ was very impressed!

    My Mom was glad to see me (at last) and we all went over to some tulip garden for pictures, at which point I slipped my Mom a business card with the following hand-written on the back: "Dateline -- NBC -- Tues May 28 10pm"

    After that I helped D____ (one of my brothers) and C______ (his wife)and the niece & nephew check in to their bed&breakfast, then stopped for supper before hitting the road.

    I was supposed to stop and visit with Beans at his campground with his family, but by the time I passed where he was staying, I didn't feel up to drinking, and since I forgot to bring a change of clothes, I decided against meeting him in the campground (I looked like I should have been out door-knocking).

    According to my brother D____, I missed some of the more interesting things, like the guys standing in the parking lot holding up signs which say "Parking". D____ then pointed out the silliness of this to one of these guys by saying something like: "Why don't you have people standing on the roof holding a sign which says "Roof" or standing at the door with a sign which says "Door"???? Wish I could have been there for that.

    I should add that the Dateline notice I slipped to my Mom was a follow-up to a telephone conversation she and I had the previous Saturday. She called me, in tears and alone (my dad was out door-knocking) asking if I was coming to the wedding, and if I wasn't she didn't want to go, and she was sorry about the reception but she had nothing to do with the invitation list, it was up to my sister (in my opinion it was up to the "Brother" who was perfoming the marrigage solemnization).

    She asked me, tearfully, "Why don't we see you and D____ more often? Do you hate us? Do you think we hate you?" I said, as calmly as I could (it wasn't easy) "No mom, of course we don't hate you. But mom, I keep hearing people refer to me as an apostate, and as you know apostates are considered the worst possible people before Jehovah, and Witnesses are told they must hate apostates. Dad always seems uncomfortable around me now, and I think this is why. It's tough to visit when I know that people are saying such mean things about us."

    We talked for about 1.5 hours, including: UN involvement, molestation, upcoming Dateline show, how conditions today are not consistent with "dire end of days predictions", etc. etc. etc. Through it all her responses were mostly "Well I don't know about that" or "I would love to hear you talk to one of the elders about this, I don't know the answer but I don't have a problem with anyone asking questions, and would like to hear what the elders say about this".

    When she asked if I wanted to talk to an elder, I finally said, as delicately as I could, "I don't see the point mom, there really are no answers to these questions, except that this group is a cult. A dangerous mind control cult." We then talked about cults for several minutes.

    The conversation ended abruptly at 12:15pm with "Oh {Qutoes}, I hear the car in the garage, I don't want Dad to know I've been talking to you. I'll see you at the wedding, OK? {click}"

    My Mom is somewhat a "rebel" in the congregation, not always towing the cult-like party-line, and she alluded to this several times in our conversation. In fact, she could be their poster-child for it not being a cult. I want her to recognize that although she may not be in a cult, most other JWs are in a cult -- ultimately it comes down to how much control you let them have over you, after all.

    ** Edited for typos and to remove personal identification information **
    ===========================
    For interesting Watchtower Society literature quotes, complete with references but without any editorial, check out: http://Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com

  • cellomould
    cellomould

    I quote Quotes':

    most other
    JWs are in a cult -- ultimately it comes down to how much control you let them have over you, after all.
    This is the big reason why most JWs remain JWs...they do see others as mindless drones, but they think it doesn't apply to them.

    Speaking for myself, I knew that certain aspects I could just not accept. But what I did, instead of giving it serious thought, was cling to the things I could accept.

    This kind of behavior I am sure is ubiquitous.

    cellomould

    "You're crying 'why am I the victim?' when the culprit is YOU" Stevie Wonder[/i]

  • Beans
    Beans

    I can`t figure out why the KH door was locked? They proclaim it to be a public ceremony!

    Do any KH`s lock the door during meetings?

    Beans

  • peaceloveharmony
    peaceloveharmony

    ((((quotes))))

  • Mister Biggs
    Mister Biggs

    Our congo locks the doors during meetings.
    It's supposed to keep the "loop-jobs" out...or perhaps they're locked to keep the "loop-jobs" in???

  • Scully
    Scully

    Quotes:

    I'm glad you were able to make it for at least part of your sister's wedding day.

    That "locked door on the KH" is one of those very special honours reserved for "apostates" who might dare to spoil such a joyous occasion by showing up and wanting to see a friend's or relative's wedding. I'd be interested to know who the 'Wedding Nazi' is whose idea it was to lock the door. [No wedding FOR YOU!]

    Hope your mom gets to watch Dateline too.

    Love, Scully

  • Beans
    Beans

    Announcement!

    All apostates should be on time for meetings as you may get locked out!

    Beans

  • awoke
    awoke

    Quotes,

    I was really suprised reading your post the other day. Your conversations with your mom sound really similar to what would go on between my mom and brother.

    My brother was DFd when I was 17 and he would call over to the house and have long discussions with my mom. My brother's DFing really affected her and she hated her family being torn apart. She too would have to abruptly hang up with my brother when my dad got home. But I really believe that those conversations opened her eyes some and it wasn't long before she was approaching the elders regarding certain subjects. She has been out for over 10 yrs now.

    I relayed your story to her and she was surprised at the similarities as well. She wanted me to tell you to "keep it up!" Your mom is listening probably more than you think!

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