options please

by Defianttruth 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • Defianttruth

    Defiant Truth

    1234 A Good Place Av

    Happy Town, fl 87345


    [email protected]

    July 15, 2014

    Sad Parents Who Threw Away Their Child

    1801 Desperation St.

    Cultsville, TN 98432

    Dear Upset Parents

    I have been deeply bothered over our last telephone conversation. As per our last conversation on 04/21/2015, you requested more time with your Grandchildren. You accused me of holding them hostage from you. My conscience does bother me over this issue. Not that I feel I have done anything wrong, but it is sad you are not in my children's lives. I will see if we can rectify this situation. Dad you were an abusive father to me. Physically, mentally, and emotionally you tortured me for years. There is no way under any circumstances I would ever allow you to have unsupervised visitation of my children. Mom I will not allow you this privilege either because of your subjection to my father. You will do anything he says. I am sorry even if you promised me Dad wouldn’t be there, I would not allow the visitation. Your religion preaches “Theocratic Warfare Strategy.”( The Watchtower teaches that it is appropriate to withhold the truth from "people who are not entitled to it" if it will further their ends (Reed, 1992, also Franz, 1971, p. 1060-1061) I know what could happen even if you promised not to allow it you could be ordered to lie to “further your ends”.

    Let’s get a few things straight.

    1)If anyone ever threatens legal action to insure his or her grandparent rights again, I will use every asset at my disposal to insure this never happens. I know you do not have the means to make such a threat to come into fruition, but if even mentioned again it will prove to me, you don’t really want this and you will never speak to my children again. They see you so little it would make very little impact on their lives. I will remind you they have only seen you 4 times in 4 years and 3 of those time was the funerals of one of their great grand parents. As a reminder, “Bob the contractor whom you’ve known for years” tried to sneak past an unapproved change order for $1,500.00 through my billing system. I have kept that issue in court for five years at an expense to me of $30,000.00 plus. Please call him and ask him how he likes facing me in court and ask yourself what would I do to protect my children.

    2) No more lies. Every time you call which is about twice a year, I hear one of you guys are in serious health decline. I have heard loupes, cancer, MS, and leukemia. I do have an individual who still knows you. They see you involved in various activities which would point to good health. When I ask what your prognosis is, what stage you are in, and who is your doctor I am never given an answer. I know your trying to manipulate me with guilt. This has been your tactic for over a decade. This tactic will not work. I have made my peace.

    3) I want for you to tell my children the reason you do not talk to me. “Your dad turned his back on Jehovah” will not work. You have to tell them details. “Your dad meet your mom and when she became pregnant with the oldest child your father refused to hide you from your grandparents religion. He was given the option of never mentioning you and staying in a communicative position with his life long family and friends or he could tell people about you. Your dad picked telling the entire world about you, a decision he would make a thousand times again.”

    4) If you do not feel comfortable with me being at “my house” during your visit, we can arrange for your visitation when I am out of town as we did the last time. I am fine with that arrangement. If as during your previous visit, you decide to drive six hours to see my children and you only stay 3 hours you will never visit again. You are welcome to stay as long as you like, but it has to be at least one night. You can stay in the main house or if you wish you may stay in the pool house it has all amenities and accommodations the main house does. You can stay in privacy if that is the reason. Yes I know my wife was mad at you when you came the last time. That is because you arranged to come the day before only to no show and no call at the day of your arrival. Dad I know your are uncomfortable with women as aggressive as my wife. She is my equal. I know this is a concept you are not accustomed to, but you have to get over your objections. You were rude as a person can be to their son’s spouse. You did not apologize and she told you off for being rude. You were not the person whom cancelled all their plans so your husband’s estranged parents could see their grandchildren. You were not the person whom had to tell their excited children they did not know why grandmother and grandfather didn’t show up. (Noticed how the children were excited over your visit. If we had degraded you to them they would not feel this way)

    5)If I hear one more time you have told someone “Defiant won’t let us see the grandchildren” all bets are off. You may instruct people we are having differences and are trying to work out your visitation of the children. As mentioned before, there is a mole in your mist. This individual tells me everything about you. If I find you are still telling people I am the one who is keeping you from the children so you can play the role of the victim, there will be serious repercussions for this behavior. Everyone will know Our secrets.

    Also, I have created email accounts for my children. They do not have access to the emails, but I send them emails at least once a week. When they turn 18 I will give them the passwords and they can read all the stuff I send them. I was going to CC them this letter, but I do not want you to have their email address. So, I am going to take a screen shot of this letter after I send it to you from my sent box. I am going to create a jpeg of the image. A jpeg is a digital photograph. It will prove you have received this letter and I have reached out to you in a reasonable manner for you to rectify this situation. They will know I did not keep you away. They will know you stayed away.

    Sincerely yours,


  • Ding

    It's very said what the WT does to families.

  • GrreatTeacher

    I think I remember the story of their visit.

    It seems they haven't yet learned that you get to raise your children the way you think is best just as they did.

  • jgnat

    Toxic parents. Your children are better off.

  • jgnat

    Have you sent it yet? The ailment is spelled Lupus. I have a MIL, now passed, who claimed to be on deaths door for over twenty years.

  • zeb

    jgnat: I heard of such a situation; common in tt its known as 'poor pitiful me' syndrome. PM for you.

  • DesirousOfChange

    As per our last conversation on 04/21/2015,


    I'd say you're planning too far into the future.


  • Hortensia

    Well, good for you. Protect your children. You're being nicer than I would be, to spell it out for them. I think I would just tell them to piss off, they had their chance when you were a kid, and they screwed it up. You can't let them do the same things to your children that were done to you.

    You don't have to tell the children too much -- when they ask about their grandparents, just say "that crazy religion" makes them act like that. You can answer their questions about the crazy religion truthfully, appropriately for their ages, so they grow up understanding the damage a crazy religion can do.

  • Fernando

    On the one hand you have to be at least very firm with toxic and destructive persons.

    On the other hand they are (wilfully?) blind to their dysfunction.

    A bit of a no-win situation?

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