Jehovah's Witnesses in Group

by Band on the Run 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    Once I left the Witnesses in high school, I did not run into any Witnesses. The locals lived in a downtrodden neighborhood so our lives were separate. There was a spy among the neighbors but I could not care less. All the rumors were false. There was nothing the local KH could do. I could go over their heads easily enough. Maybe I saw them in the main bus station in NY about once every six years. I just moved further from the Witnesses.

    I've been in therapy groups lately. Two consecutive groups two consecutive JWs as fellow members. I told the first one that I was not there for her to preach lies to me. My vow was to go directly to the executive officer of the hospital. What is sad is this is the only group available. There are fantastic ones in Manhattan but the self pay is expensive. They don't accept Medicare. Is Jesus mocking me? I will be seething with anger concerning the Witnesses and she will find it la la land. It would be insulting to explain how ignorant the religion is. The Witnesses bring up all these internal struggles that deal withbeing powerless and tortured. I am honest. It was my father and the Witnesses.

    My resolve is to recall the times here when certain atheists were combative. I believe a neutral statement of faith may work.

  • LisaRose

    I am sure it's just a coincidence. In ten years in Colorado I did not have one JW come to my door, I moved to California three years ago and they have been to my house at least ten times, nine of them after I asked to be put on the do not call list. I could see that as a sign or something, but the reality is Colorado has a very low ratio of JWs. Also I lived in a mostly upper middle class white suburb in Colorado, while I live in a much more economically and racially diverse area of California. I believe there is a higher ratio of JWs in minority and immigrant populations.

  • jgnat

    It can be tough in group when the greatest benefit is from sharing openly. I would have trouble sharing with a Witness in the group too. Perhaps you can encourage your group partner every time she shares something genuine, and be neutral or silent every time she spouts BS.

  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    This is going to ignite. The last one was telling lies concerning the Witnesses. She wore clingy knits, a weave, and was a Mary Kay salesperson. I would have been banned from the KH if I dressed in that manner. Of course, I wore Beatles/hippie clothes that became the subject matter of discussion.

    Being raised a Witness caused me great pain that endures, in part, to this day. My love of worldly things is no accident. I am reading Doris Kearns Goodwin's latest book on Teddy Roosevelt and Pres/Chief Justice Taft. She contrasts both men's education. I was crying b/c I had to fight and be ready to move to a secret foster house to finish high school. He would track me down and murder me. Anything I enjoyed he took away. Being a candy striper (very humiliating). Beatles. Dylan. my transistor radio. Sewing machine. Needles for hand sewing. I discussed this with a professional about how I just fell into things. He said I did more than well. Oh, lights out at 730 pm regardless of homework assignments.

    Iwant to be a diplomat. The pain is so acute even after decades. I've noticed that I am not the only one here to be out for decades yet feel compelled to post here. Maybe she is just going through motions the way I did. A lot of my irrational thoughts stem from the Witnesses.

  • LisaRose

    You need to keep in mind that a lot of your issues stem from your father and his abusive behavior. Yes the JWs had a part in it, but not every JW parent is abusive, some here had fairly benign childhoods. For you it was a combo deal. You did do well, very well, but perhaps that was your coping mechanism, a rebellion against both your JW upbringing and and your dad by immersing yourself in everything they didn't want you to do. It worked very well for you, but as with any rebellion, it takes time and energy to maintain. Maybe it's time to tease out all those conflicting emotions from back then and let go of some of that rebellion.

    Just a thought.


    I've been in lots of therapy groups. I really can't imagine a JW even being in such a group. Most competent group leaders wouldn't allow the topic of religion to dominate a discussion. I assume the group members are there for other reasons. Just refuse to get sucked into any discussion of religion. Concentrate on your other issues instead. The best bet is to not focus on the Witness aspect too much......just deal with the interpersonal family issues that bother you. To sum up, DO NOT get sucked into participating in any JW discussions or arguments with the JWs in the group. Let the group leader know if they keep bringing up JW related topics. They might do better in a different group if that's the case. Good luck! And stay with the therapy group. The group can help you deal with all types of people, including Witnesses.

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