D8TA, about the "live & let live" comment...,
The other day, in your thread, I was 'pulling your chain' a bit
with that comment to you... and Sunspot Annie grinned and knew
I was kidding, because she knows me.
No.
I do NOT believe in leaving the Kult quietly... and slinking away...
They do WAY too much damage and need to be called for it.
Consequences.
Below is an exchange of emails with an X-Dub I do not know,
who was surfing and came across my website, and then wrote me.
He had originally adopted the "Live and Let Live" policy
toward the Watchtower Society when he left...
but things change,
and he explains WHY That Policy Went Straight Out The Window!
LOve, Tallyman
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
From: "James ________" < [email protected]>
To: < [email protected]>
Subject: gallery comment
Date: Sat, 11 May 2002
I walked away from my congregation in California in 93
and I have never looked back. I was a pioneer,
a bethelite (on the "Farm"), a ministerial servant,
on my way to becoming an elder, making sheperding calls
and slated to give a 45 minute public talk one week before I left.
I served in 8 congregations over 10 years and I could not help
but observe certain patterns of behavior that repeated themselves
among the "friends" regardless of locale.
Behavior, that when confronted, was explained away as "imperfect man"
and I should not allow the "weakness of an imperfect brother/sister
to stumble me".
But these were not random personality quirks or mental problems
attributed to specific individuals. I had noticed that,
no matter where I went, certain personality types were always present
in the congregation. That they engaged in the same cruel and petty
treatment of others and, worst of all, this particular brand
of insensitivity seemed to be a prerequisite to climbing the next rung of Theocratic advancement. That to survive, continue, and secure a position
of relative safety in the organization, I would have to betray
a certain aspect of my true self. Whether it be compromising the trust
of one of my brothers or participating in the execution
of a Judicial decision I did not agree with, that day would come,
and I would have to choose.
Attending the meetings made me miserable.
I dreaded walking among people who hated me for trying to speak out
and defend others. Rather than choose, I simply stopped going.
I suppose to those who were not privy to the secret meetings
in the library, it must have seemed quite the shock,
but I felt a great weight lifted off me.
The prophesized "empty hole" where my spirituality used to be
never materialized. Quite the contrary, I found myself filled
with the possibility of a new life. My friends and family were
all long gone, sacrificed to the Watchtower-god when my mother
and I joined. I had already disowned one life.
It was surprisingly easy to repeat the same callous dismissal
of my entire social structure when dealing with the "friends".
I have never analyzed or quantified my feelings during this time.
I simply walked away and promised myself I would never look back.
No "apostasy", no guilt, no comment.
The whole of the society just wasn't worth the time or effort.
In retrospect I can see that I was still avoiding making a choice.
I had my first taste of why, when 6 months later, having immersed myself
in work, I was confronted by 3 of the most unreasonabl, angry
and almost violent female customers I had ever encountered.
After this surreal encounter at my workplace, they went to my
District Manager and accused me of saying things and making statements
that were patently untrue. Fortunately, my work record bought me some
credibility and good help is hard to find in California, so I ended up
with a temporary suspension during the course of an internal
investigation and returned to work a couple of days later.
A month later I was driving past a Kingdom Hall and those same
3 customers came walking out of the building.
Coincidence? maybe, but I have always held a suspicion
that maybe it wasn't. Maybe I didn't fall into a life of drug abuse
and decadence as had been predicted and my destruction needed
a little nudging along.
God forbid I set a "bad example" by surviving my departure
from the cult. I moved out of state some time after that
for other reasons but I still hadn't allowed myself to be drawn
into any conflicts with the society at that point.
That has changed.
My son is 4 now and I have complete custody of him,
appointed by the probate courts. Endeavoring to give him a relationship
with his grandmother and a sense of family I did not have,
I have allowed him time with my mother and her new husband,
big Cheeses in the local Hierarchy of JW's.
My mother launched an attack on my relationship with my son
and I was struck again with the horrible, paralyzing fear
of just what terrible, lying, cruel, petty, evil things
these people are capable of,
with the complete justification and condoning of their sizeable club.
I found your site while doing research to protect my son
from forced indoctrination and subversive brainwashing as well as
safeguarding against possible legal attacks.
You have a refreshing, and direct delivery of your views.
You are not afraid of the society. Particularly, your portrayal of them
as the anti-american terrorist cult they are.
If you would like communicate with me in an exchange of information,
I believe you can help me approach my personal situation correctly.
For my sons safety, I will make that choice now.
I have drawn the line, and I am preparing to return the attack.
Please email me if you wish.
Thank you.
James
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
[I quickly responded to the email James sent me]
> James,
>
> feel free to use anything on my site that you can benefit from
> to help protect your son. I think it IS a form of child abuse
> to force little kids to look and "learn" from the random sampling
> of Watchtower Illustrations I put in the "Gallery".
>
> These horrible depictions which the jWs dwell upon,
> make an imprint in impressionable young minds.
>
> I don't think the authorities would take kindly to this
> if the right agencies were alerted, such as Child Protective Services...
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
[And then James wrote another letter to me:]
From: "James ________" < [email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: gallery comment
Date: Sun, 12 May 2002
Thank you for your quick response.
I will be printing up articles and images
from your site, as well as others on the web.
They will be shown to the child Psychologist I am taking my son to
this week. He has been having nightmares and trouble sleeping
since returning from an overnight visit with my parents (JW's).
Following a previous confrontation, I had already informed them
that they were not to teach him anything religous and he was
not to pray with them. The visit was simply to allow grandparents time
with their grandson.
What happened this time appears to have been much worse.
I was able to get him to tell me some things that were bothering him.
1. I was bad for keeping him from Jehovah and I would die for it.
2. He would die along with everyone else if he did not choose to love Jehovah.
3. Demons were in the books and television we watched.
4. Demons would get him and shake his bed.
He was told more, but he would not tell me what.
He only cried and said he did not want to go over Grandma's anymore.
When I asked him why he couldn't tell me the other things,
he said: "Grandma said if I told, she would lie anyway.
She would tell people you hit me, and they would take me away to
another home, and I would never see you or mom again."
As you might imagine, it took every bit of self control I had,
not to show up on their doorstep, ready to finish this.
I believe my son, but I made an appointment with a psychologist
so I can have this incident documented by an outside nuetral source.
I have not given my parents any indication that I know anything.
Armed with this official report, I will confront them. My only fear
is that, during the session, I will find out what he wouldn't tell
me, and it will be far worse than I could imagine.
I became a father after I left the organization so my son has never
been brainwashed in any way. What could she have said/done to shame
or scare him into such a silence?
I am sorry you are in such poor health, and I apologize if I sound
like just another paranoid ex-jw looking for a fight.
I just needed to tell someone who might understand how these things
are possible. How a people who can seem so "nice" and "loving",
could ever be capable of such cruelty.
And mostly, how the organization they are a part of, not only approves
of this behavior, but actually encourages it. They are protected
by their congregations.
I have spent the last 10 years just trying to build a life for myself.
Find love, and start a family. Be a good father and raise happy children.
I have not sought revenge on the organization for "stealing" my youth.
For lying to me, and having used me up, casting me aside.
I have always felt that the responsibility for what happened, was mine.
My choices.
I believed "Live and let live".
Do not become like them.
Do not give them the satisfaction.
But I was wrong.
The organization is a vehicle that destroys families. It cares nothing
for the people in its care, and less than nothing for those outside
the flock. If only I had let myself hate them, all those years ago,
maybe I wouldn't feel so horribly guilty right now, for believing that
my son could be trusted overnight with my own mother.
Anyway, I guess I don't really know what I feel right now,
except thankful that you have provided me with an opportunity
to get this off my chest. If you want to know the outcome,
and have the time to endure more of my chatter, just email me back.
Again, Thanks.
James