Grief is experienced in different degrees by different people though the happening is same.
1) Death of a father who is a bread-winner of the family brings in acute grief to the bereaved.
2) Death of a father who is a liability to the family brings no grief to the bereaved.
3) Death of a father who is a pedophile and womanizer brings joy to the bereaved.
This shows grief is more of perception than the loss, and is usually the result of limited vision. Once moved to a larger perspective, the very thing that causes suffering may produce even its opposite. When one of our family members moves into another house, we don’t grieve over it. Similarly, the wise do not mourn the death: “Death is merely moving from one home to another. The wise man will spend his main efforts in trying to make his future home the more beautiful one.” (Rabbi Menachem) (Compare Ecclesiastes 12:7; John 5:24; 8:51; 14:2; Luke 20:38)
In principle, there is no suffering, there is no joy, but there is only consequence. If the consequence suits ones convenience and comfort, it is viewed as joy; otherwise it is viewed as suffering. In the larger picture where there is no interpretation of consequences, there are only events—one thing leads to another. When “the works of the spirit” are chosen, results are determined, it will take people to glory! When the “works of the flesh” are chosen, their results are determined—it’s a matter of time that it will bring suffering to the person—whether he is President Nixon, Clinton or just any ordinary man.
Many may disagree saying Jesus was a good man, yet he had to suffer. This disagreement stems from casual reading. God’s will is that everyone should live faultlessly, and his life should be his message to others. (Mathew 5:16) Exposing others using scathing denunciation is not God’s way. (Proverbs 24:19; Mathew 5:44-48) Jesus was not consistent in his speech. He spoke politely with Satan and demons (Mathew 4:1-10; Luke 8:30), yet spoke roughly towards his parents (Luke 2:49; Mathew 12:46-50). The people of his home-town had actually been praising Jesus (Luke 4:15, 22), yet he irritated them FOR NO REASON. (Luke 4:23-27) Principle of “reap and sow” is in action in everyone’s case—people became “furious when they heard this. They got up, drove him out of the town, and took him to the brow of the hill on which the town was built, in order to throw him off the cliff.” (Luke 4:28-30) Finally, he called the Pharisees the “white-washed tombs” (Mathew 23:27) and whipped their men out of temple. (Mark 11:15-17) It too had its consequence: “The chief priests and the teachers of the law heard this and began looking for a way to kill him.” (Mark 11:18) Early Christians exhibited exclusivism, like JWs of today who claim: ‘only we are right and all others are wrong.’ They lacked larger perspective: Every religion is the offspring of its time, and cared for the need of the time, hence no one can criticize another’s religion. Perfection lies in all the religions collectively, not just in one religion. Hence early Christians had to pay for their limited vision—they were persecuted by Romans who viewed them as disturbance to the peace of the community.
Where is Satan in all these things?
One may say this is purely theoretical and his suffering is real! While bouts of suffering can be paralyzing, we always have the choice within us to transform it, based on how we respond to it. We can transform suffering into peace. It starts with realizing that happiness is our nature and stress is an outsider we invite thoughtlessly. (Luke 17:21) A student may be suffering from many things, yet when he is in examination hall, the few hours that he is writing his exam goes like a few minutes and he is completely unaware of the sufferings he was being tormented with till he entered the examination hall. He chooses not to think about things that cause suffering to him. This can actually be extended to beyond the time when he is in the examination hall. The key lies in the change in the attitude and in adopting the truth that nothing belongs to me—possession is an illusion (Mathew 5:3) and everything belongs to God. (Isaiah 54:5; Jeremiah 10:10)
A job loss can be perceived as a significant personal failure or we can relate to it as an integral part of work-life and an opportunity to reflect, retool and engage in something more meaningful. Research suggests that most people regain their original level of happiness after one year of job loss (people report similar results after one year of losing a loved one); eventually, many even regard the job loss to be the best thing that ever happened to them.
There is no lotus without mud! And there is no betterment without suffering! You cannot say day is good and night is bad—both are useful. This fact is best understood by people like J K Rowling (authoress of Harry Potter), who became a billionaire and ‘the most influential woman in Britain’. The first half of her life was like an ill-fated plane with too many failures in life, but she simply moved to a higher perspective transforming her suffering into success. The best comes from the worst! It is only when yoghurt is beaten and made smooth that butter can be made from it.
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” (Rumi) Instead of perceiving ourselves and others as imperfect, relating to everyone as unique creations of a perfect universe allows us to be more at peace with our reality. Further, choosing to help others who may be suffering from similar circumstances supports this inner transformation.