it's a long time ago -- maybe 30 years, but the memory and my personal sadness is still there..
reading the other threads on the idiocy of the dfing policy has brought it all back.
a young woman in the congregation, raised by a single mother was forced into the situation of leaving home when here mother re-married a brother in the congregation who felt that he did not want this young woman (aged about 19 as i recall it) living in his home.
the young woman is best described by the expression - " one of those who god forgot ", that is, when it comes to handing out the 'charms' that make us welcome in social situations.***
the young woman found accommodation in a kind of rooming house. there, she came into contact with an older man - not a witness, of course.(who you could also call a loser).. i guess he saw the opportunity for some sexual satisfaction, and set out to 'make it' with this girl.
since she had never previously had anyone pay any personal attention to her, i also conclude that he found it easy to get her attention. tho from her story, a bit harder to make the final step.
but perserverance paid off for him, and he finally got her into bed. and the girl got an attack of conscience that brought confession to the elders.
I was the new p o, at the start of the then 'new' elder arrangement. we set up a j c. heard her story and dfed her.
the basic reason being that it was considered that she 'had' sought the attention of a 'worldy' man.
this decision has ever since weighed on my conscience. a few months later i discussed it with the CO during his visit... bob hadlow was usually a fairly practical guy ( he later died during from a fall while building himself a new home -- materialsim, some said!!!) -- but after consideration, also felt the girl deserved df-ing.
well.. many years later, b4 i was dfed myself, i did take the opportunity to say to this woman, the simple words 'i'm sorry', but she was so filled with the jw philosophy that i do not think she appreciated what i was saying.
NOW HERE'S THE KEY POINT:
nowhere are jcs. encouraged to take HUMAN problems into consideration. god's mercy is talked about, but seldom is an application made that takes that supposed quality of mercy into consideration.
we should have looked at that girl's whole life and the problems she would face, rather than the simple black/white question of having sex with a man out of loneliness and frustration. this girl could probably only look forward to a life of loneliness - she certainly wasn't going to get one of the high flyers of the congregation.
I do not believe that the WTS will learn to act with compassion and mercy..
they will act with legalism and steeliness..
the stupidity will continue.... if they had sense they would never consider taking action against bill bowen.
for the same reasons we dfed, that poor young woman -- we were more concerned about the 'law' rather than mercy.
we were more concerned about formalism than compassion and the lives of the 'poorer', less prominent ones in the congregation and the earth.
from all that i have read here in the last 3 months - it is even worse now inside the congregations.....
POOR, POOR PEOPLE, THESE JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES
*** many argue with me about this expression. they like to feel that god forgets no-one... but the sad and hard facts are that some people are born without any of the physical, personality or intellectual qualities that make as attractive to others.
