non JW married to JW

by Oh Gawd 3 Replies latest jw friends

  • Oh Gawd
    Oh Gawd

    I keep reading about situations where one spouse is a JW and the other a relatively normal functioning human being. How does this work?

    I've been married 22 years so I know a thing or two about compromise and over looking faults. But, if I thought my wife was part of a cult, especially one that posed a danger to my children, it would be over very fast. Besides that how could I respect someone so guilable and uneducated? And how could I possibly remain married to someone like that?

    To me staying married to a JW would be tantamount to staying with a drug dealer or some other overly deviant type person. I might give her a chance to change , but the change would need to be swift and permanent.

    What am i Missing?

  • Blttex

    There are so many variables to consider. She may not take things to the extreme. Her elders may also be more laid back and not inclined to go on which hunts at the drop of a hat. That's one of the most frustrating things about venue a witness. There are so many things left up to each congregation and each elder, it's like a box of chocolates. Most witnesses do just enough to fly below the radar, so they can stay in the social club. That's really all being a witness is about. God is way down the list. The only way to truly see things for what they are is to view them from a distance. If it weren't for me missing meetings, then I probably wouldn't have noticed the things I do now. Give her some time.

  • smiddy

    So your wife is not a Jw ,has never been baptised , but her family is , right ? So your not really in the same situation as a non beleiver who is married to a jehovahs witness . What we see here is two people who are jw`s , then one leaves , that has problems of its own , depending on whether it is the male who leaves or the female. Either of these scenarios produce problems unique to the other . Then throw in a child or two just to complicate matters , let alone fathers , mothers or other relatives who may have a big physchological impact. So it is not so cut and dried as you might expect.


  • Oh Gawd
    Oh Gawd

    @smiddy, you are correct as to my situation. I was making reference to the many posts I've seen where one or the other spouse is a JW. To me that seems like a tough situation. You've realized it's all a sham, they're still drinking the kool-aide. I would think the couples would grow apart rather quickly and the relationship would suffer.

    Perhaps as Bittex points out, in some cases the whole JW thing may not permiate the household. In that case, I guess it wouldn't be much different than a Republican/Democrat marriage where neither wears their ideaology on their sleeve. From my experience I have not witnessed (pun intended):) anything close to that. I see JWs "breaking the rules" all the time, but all the while spouting scripture at every opportunity. Wouldn't that be hard to take once you've woken up? I think it would be a deal breaker for me. How could I live my one and only life and be happy with someone constantly talking about stuff I knew was complete garbage? Not to mention instilling that crap in my kids head.

    I wonder how this arrangement pans out over some time? How many result in divorce? The other spouse leaving the religion? The spouse who left going back in?

Share this