So what happened, did I stick to my plan, or go to the meeting?

KateWild

I went to Liverpool Town alone. I went to see the temporary ice-rink to see costs etc, and I saw an Alpine bar too.

I decided to have a drink first before ice-skating, no sooner had I walked in the bar , the door had not even closed behind me, there was a gentleman standing right in front of me saying hello. We had a chat, he is going through a divorce too, he bought me a drink, and we chatted some more.

Little did I know, he was there with his new 33 yr old girlfriend, she was sitting down. The bloke, went away while I was talking to a mother and her daughter, the girfriend then joined us. She looked a little unkempt, and perhaps older than me on account she was a smoker.

They were totally sloshed, I was thinking my goodness what am I doing here? I thought I was going to get my lights punched out. But I don't think the g/f was compos mentis, about her b/f hitting on me and buying me a drink, besides the hunky door man was watching over us.

I finished my drink, and went for a walk over to the ice-rink. I asked directions and chatted to some nice guys. One was Polish, I was in the Polish as a JW, I still speak some now. So we were chatting away, and he hit on me. He kept saying i was pretty, until I responded. He is only 21, what a couger I am hey. Well I just went off, not really my style. I want to remain chaste.

By this time it was too late to skate, they wer closing down for the night.

I went back to the bar, chatted to a couple of girls, and told them about being a JW, and they showed a genuine interest. By about 8.45, I was tired out. I got in and called Angus and Jane, we had a Baileys over the phone and a good old chit chat, 'till late.

It was a nice evening, better than going to the KH.

Love Sam xx

jgnat

Stay alert, heads-up! LOL.

Hanging out with real people is like sitting down to a full-course meal. The bitter endive sits alongside the iceberg, enhancing both. You must be sharp enough to leave aside the bones.

Much better than pablum, pre-digested.

KateWild

jgnant,

Thanks for your post, but I don't understand all the metaphor's with being Aspergic, please explain.

Thanks Sam xx

jgnat

I apologize.

Jehovah's Witnesses follow a fairly uniform behavior. Reactions are expected. People behave. Going to the meetings is like eating pablum.

Visiting out in the big, wild world you will meet all types, and reactions are unexpected. You may not know if the interaction will go one way or another. It's exciting and you have to stay sharp. I recall for instance times I've calmed a drunk on the bus by being chummy because an angry drunk is unpredictable. The happy drunk will sit down and behave. Visitng the world is like having an adult meal with variety. You don't eat it ALL, LOL

adamah

Kate, sounds MUCH interesting than sitting in meetings, LOL.

The main concern is to not jump into things too fast, and arguably the BEST place to see worldly people at their WORST is at a bar (as a kid raised as a JW, it was an eye-opener to play in bands working in bars as a teen/young adult and watch the mating rituals of a sub-set of homo sapiens when they were intoxicated and dancing, LOL)!

A very-typical story is that a JW is DFed, and loses the social inhibition that they've lived under for a long time while in: it's like uncorking a bottle of champagne too quickly. I had an ex-JW relative who died of AIDs, since they didn't consider the ramifications of their behavior and didn't practice safe-sex. The realization that you DON'T have a invisable safety net underneath you i(n angelic form) means it's now on YOU, the individual, to make their own safety nets.

Not that there's anything wrong with pubs, etc, but people here have suggested that you seek out interaction with non-JWs in a variety of environments (eg Habitat for Humanity projects, the local learning center courses (if you cannot afford college courses right now), volunteer work like nature clean-ups, library activities, free public hikes conducted by local nature societies, etc). It's tough to make friends in real life, and it doesn't happen overnight, so respect the natural progression and try not to force it, as any hint of neediness tends to repel people who you'd like to attract (and it only attracts those who are looking for such types to manipulate as co-dependents).

But even spending some time soberly observing human behavior is a real eye-opener, too, and I'd think it's going to be esp interesting to someone with asperbergers.

Adam

KateWild

jgnat-I get it...leave aside the bones. Yes I did that, I was just testing my ability to being flexable and changing routine. I will never go to my KH again now the cycle is broken, I have put those bones to one side also.

Sam xx

KateWild

Adam,

My name is Sam, (Kate is fake)

But even spending some time soberly observing human behavior is a real eye-opener, too, and I'd think it's going to be esp interesting to someone with asperbergers.-Adam

This is a good point. I have always been a participator, and you can prolly guess from my time here at JWN, being an observer will be a challenge but I am sure it will be rewarding too

Love Sam xx

NeverKnew

Sam,

I'm a non-JW with very close JW friends. Given my observations at the KH, I totally agree with JGnat in an area I hadn't even considered. Everyone's personality seems the same. It's like a flat line. Everyone seems to laugh at the same things, talk at the same decibal level, and they're all disgusted by the exact same things.

You are entering a place where people have been allowed to be themselves and still find acceptance. Self-regulation is required. Extremists are either avoided, or they find like minds.

Do you have anybody who is a non-jw that you can call a friend?

KateWild

Do you have anybody who is a non-jw that you can call a friend?- NK

Not in Liverpool yet. Angus and Jane are my friends.

Sam xx

So what happened, did I stick to my plan, or go to the meeting?

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