A very dear life long friend died

by KariOtt 4 Replies latest jw friends

  • KariOtt

    He died a little over 7 months ago. His liver failed and didn't get the transplant we all were hoping for. 1 of his daughters just latched on to me. They live in California and I am in Alabama so we text and she would call me at least 3 times a day if not more. Her mom is greatful for our friendship. Her mom also has terminal cancer and has been given about 18 more months. She might not be alive to see her daughter graduate from high school. I know that the daughter needs someone to talk freely to and I didn't mind being there for her. Last Friday I got to spend the whole day with my hubby. Its rare that I get that now that he went back to the kingdummy hall. So I chose to ignore my phone as did hubby. The day was just his and mine. Hubby ignored his phone also. We had a wonderful day. Breakfast out, a movie, a late lunch/dinner, then we spent a quiet eveing watching TV in bed. It was a great day for us. My friends daughter was texting me all day and called 5 times. Saturday she sent a simple hi text and I replied back. She replied back telling me she needed to talk to me the day before. In her 5 calls the day before she didn't leave a message. She said she was mad at me so I called her but she let the call go to voicemail. I left her a message explaining why I ignored my phone the day before. I hadn't herd from her since I left the message so I sent a text to her today asking if she was still mad at me. In all capitol letters she said she was having another bad day and for me to leave her alone. I replied in all caps no problem. I now know why she doesn't have any friends. I am so tired of people putting conditions on a friendship. I was planning on getting her a laptop of her own so she wouldn't have to share the only one in a house with 7 other family members. Not sure if I want to contuine to be her friend when or if she ever makes contact again. I don't need this.

  • Scully

    She sounds like she can be a bit of an emotional vampire. That's such a draining relationship to have to cope with - I try to disengage from people like that ASAP.

    You have the right to your own life, your own private time with your husband. She doesn't own you and you don't answer to her or have to provide a reason why you were unavailable for her during your private time.

    Perhaps it's a lack of maturity on her part that makes her feel that she has you at her beck and call, but you don't have to enable that behaviour either - it's not going to serve her well as she gets older and realizes that the world doesn't work that way.

  • EndofMysteries

    If that happened and there was no both parents dying while just early mid teens, I would say def disengage that friendship. If she reinitiates contact soon, I would explain there is only one way to continue being friends, and explain you have your own life and time and if she doesn't respect that, you can't be friends anymore. If she calls and you don't answer, she can leave a message or text and wait for you to call back or the next day.

    She obviously hasn't learned or been taught how to deal with others, so can do a firm letter or convo on it. If she doesn't respect it, then do what you have to do.

  • gma-tired2

    As a grandmother of two teen granddaughters, teens can be very emotional. They haven't learned to understand that life doesn't revolve around them. We need to shoe patience ans most do grow up some faster than others. I can tell you there is a big difference between 16 and 2O.

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    This could be an excellent chance for you to help this young woman learn how to properly deal with people. She IS a teenager don't expect her to act as an adult . She is going through a terrible time in her life ,my goodness just lost her Dad and knows her Mom has very limited time .... Please be a stable adult in her life ,but also have her understand there must be boundaries . Be kind .

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