marrage and communication

by Butterflyleia85 8 Replies latest social relationships

  • Butterflyleia85

    I know I'm talking about my bad quality it's cause I need to work on it and be a better communicator.... why do I feel it's loving to 'preach' I don't even no I'm doing it and I am.... I don't no anything and I come across as controlling and preachy to my spouse. :( anyone having same issue? Good book that some what helped me is Love Language book... but again I preach it... I love him and I guess I come across him wrong. I even communicate to others like a counselor... suck. How can I be casual and funny? Sexy and fun? Not think so much. So spiritually all the time!!! It's becoming oc again. :(

  • Bella15

    Start listening ... make a consious effort to just listen ... I have the same problem thou ... lol ... and it is something I am working on, one of the suggestions was to listen to people, make an effort not to give your opinion or give a piece of your mind ... trust me it is such an exercise that even your jaw will hurt afterwards ...

  • Butterflyleia85

    Thank you so much Bella15!! :) I am so overwhelmed with all the information I'm learning that I just want to share it with anyone and everyone I meet!! I have also recognized I need to stop analizing everything. I have a good husband... stop picking on him!! Ha I blame being a Jehovah's Witness with over controling and prefectionism tendancies. lol I love everyone I meet but I need to not scare them away with talking to much about RELIGION! Not everyone likes to talk about it! Ha I need to glue my mouth shut. I know what it is too... I was extremely shy at school, some people didn't even know I could talk... I told them they didn't know me cause I was a bubbly person at home. I did it to protect my 'wierdness' being a Jehovah's Witness was a bet unusual to others. I also was alone when I got Disfellowshipped that was a few years later in my younger adult life. Then omg I FINIALLY made new friends and family... my new christian religious friends!! But I now worry about everything I say socially I feel ether too forward or to backward... like I don't know how to be balanced or something. Ahh maybe I'm over analizing again! Well I'm glad they believe in Grace cause I need tones of it!! lol

  • Fernando

    Two verses which have helped me calm down, be less of a perfectionist, and lower my (unreasonably high) expectations of myself and others (less disappointment/s):

    "So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus" (Rom 8:1, NLT).

    "For all [are dysfunctional] and fall short of the glory of God" (Rom 3:23, paraphrased)

    Contemplating who the "Holy Ones" in scripture are has also been a big help. They are ordinary dysfunctional humans (aka fallen sinners) who have had Jesus' righteousness and holiness imputed to them as a "free gift" by "unmerited favour" (grace).

  • Fernando

    I have found it can be therapeutic and very helpful to have someone to share the spiritual journey, excitement and research with - even if only via the internet.

    You can PM me if you'd like to be put in touch with a woman of faith who identifies as "Spiritual But Not Religious" (SBNR).

  • LisaRose

    We are all works in progress, part of it is accepting that you will make mistakes, learn from them and move on.

    Practice enjoying the moment and appreciate those in your life as they are right now.

  • yadda yadda 2
    yadda yadda 2

    You just alienate people when you're a preachy, know-it-all bore. You'll end up old and alone.

  • Lozhasleft

    We're all left with issues from that damn cult one way or another. It teaches us to wear a persona you're right. Sounds like it's time for you to just be the REAL YOU. not an easy thing to achieve but so satisfying when you do. Try to stop worrying what others think and work on being TRUE to you?

    Loz x

  • Butterflyleia85

    Thanks everyone!! :) and along with everyone's comment a friend I meet at this church I'm going to let me borrow her video Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson & Sarah Eggerichs!! Oh wow it's so good!

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