Passing wind at assemblies

by Derrick 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • Derrick

    -Proposed KM Insert-
    Technique for obtaining seating
    Credits: perfected by "Sister Gas" of the Oxnard West Congregation

    At the start of the district assembly:
    (1) She politely sits down by herself in the middle of heavily occupied prime stadium seating with a prime view of the speaker; (2) she quietly lets one rip; (3) she keeps on ripping; (4) those nearby cannot stand it anymore and decide to discreetly move; (5) coincidentally, her family and friends arrive as the seating becomes available, and occupy the newly vacated seating around her.


    To see a World in a Grain of Sand
    And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
    Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
    And Eternity in an hour.

    -- William Blake (Auguries of Innocence)

  • waiting


    You seem to be loosening up a bit. I always sat up high (because we always came in a 1/2 late - but interestingly watch all the people go by.

    I could picture Sister Gas doing that. After all, it's just a bodily function, right?

    Enjoyed your post!


  • Elsewhere


    "As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible" - The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126
    Believe in yourself, not mythology.
    <x ><

  • LDH

    LOL Derrick I was thinking of starting a thread of the same name.


  • musky

    whenever a bad smell was drifting around at the assembly, we all sat there and said or did nothing. on the inside we were saying: holy crap, who just burned a mule in here, i bet its that guy down a couple rows, no wait, that sister over there looks pretty suspicious. Oh man thats wicked stuff. what'd that guy have for lunch??

  • Michael3000


    "Any day spent NOT knocking on doors is a good day!"

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