judged for not ostrisizing?

by blindfool 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • blindfool

    OK, I'm getting a little lazy here. I glanced at a couple of JW books on the issue, but I know you guys can answer, so I'm going straight to the experts.

    What happens if a good witness refuses to ostracize a df'd member. I know an elder might approach and question their actions, but would a judicial committee ever be formed to stop a person from associating with a df'd witness?

    Do any of you guys have experience with such an issue? Would a mother have judicial action taken against her for having lunch with her df'd daughter? What if she were counseled about such actions and continued to have an ongoing relationship? How far would the elders let this go before taking action? What action would they take?

  • moman

    The elders would tell you,"Bad association spoils good brain-washing!"

  • HoChiMin

    Dear blindfool,

    You would be counseled if to much association, with a df'd relative, were noticed by the spies in your congregation. Generally you would not have much problem for having lunch with a daughter, however if you are completely honest with them, and it is not for "important family matters" you could be df'd . A lot depends on the mood of the body of elders and the congregation at any given time of the alleged offense.

    It's a shame a question as to family relations comes up at all. No religion should be able to dictate what happens between family members, it's very divisive and harmful to families. Remember the WT does "not" speak for any god.


  • LoneWolf

    blindfool --- HoChiMin is correct as to it depending on the mood of the body of elders and the makeup of the congregation. You may be able to get away with it in some, but in others anything can happen.

    You may be interested in this account in which a man's elderly mother was DFed for talking with him:



  • blindfool

    Thanks for the link. I had read the story before but thanks for reminding me about it.
    The thing is, even the writer of this story says he know his was not the typical case.
    I wonder sometimes, is there a typical case? Maybe not. Just seems to be how each paticular body of elders feels.

  • TR


    Would a mother have judicial action taken against her for having lunch with her df'd daughter?
    That is how Ray Franz got df'd.


    Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America- Washington Division

  • blindfool

    I see your point.
    The people involved in this case are certainly not as high profile as Ray Franz. It seems that a lot of good people were df'd during that time for reasons I'm asking about.

  • Guest 77
    Guest 77

    I've said this many times, my mom, daughter and some witnesses still talk to me and break bread.

    Where were the elders and my brother when my mother need 'urgent help?' No where to be found, so my wife and I had to take care of her. Did any of the friends offer to help her? Yeah right. The friends where allowed in the home of a disfellowshipped person to visit my mom. The elders said under the circumstance it was OK, go figure. What circumstance? No witness wanted to be 'inconvenienced' that's the circumstance.

    Guest 77

  • blindfool

    Guest 77
    Great point,
    I also know of a witness mother whose df'd son moved back in because he was dying of AIDS. She nursed him for nearly five years until his death. No elders gave her a hard time.

  • bigfloppydog

    HoChiMin is right some elders, not all, get a high on authority and control. And yes they do have their little spies, be watchful. I don't honestly believe that when it comes to family, no one should tell you, you have to shun them. That's the shame of the org. play by the rules, or you could get into trouble they say.

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