by MsGrowingGirl20 8 Replies latest jw experiences

  • MsGrowingGirl20

    I feel as though I'm losing it.

    Firstly, my mom isn't baptized but has been around witnesses for a long time. When I was in, she would have problems with the religion. We were always at ends with eachother. One time there was this program that came on on the television denouncing JW and I immediately got up and said that I'm not watching it. She said that she didn't care and that she was going to watch it. Another time I had a talk to do with a very uppity sister. Of course I would've never admitted it but mom came out and said it. I blew up and we argued. "You never defend your family like this!" she shouted. "But she is my SISTER mom!" Needless to say, the argument got hotter after that. Another thing was that I stopped going to most family gatherings when I became a Witness. She had a big problem with that.

    When I started learning things about this organization, I told her. She was sympathetiic and even said that she was glad that she didn't get baptized too quickly.

    So now, I haven't been to the hall since last November. She is randomly asking me about going to meetings? And she went to convention by herself! She comes back telling me that everyone asked for me and the drama was great and all that. SHEEEEESHHH

    What is going on!

    Another thing, there's this girl who got df and we were talking a few months back. She has recently been acting weird with me. She told me that she doesn't believe its the truth and even told me to look at all the ex jw videos on Youtube. Well I check my face book and I noticed that she uploaded a picture with her from convention with the caption saying," Convention today. #TheTruth."

    What the hell!

  • steve2

    Sometimes people casually say things that appear to be anti-JW - kind of moaning and groaning types of comments. But when they see you are more purposeful and considered in your own conclusions on the organization, it scares them off.

    What had been their off-handed comment appears to them to be very different from what you appear to be doing. Also, the concept of ambivalence comes to mind: Some days people are more prepared to speak out against something than other days. I've known disfellowshipped JWs bending over backwards to get back in but who will, in a different setting, bad-mouth the witnesses.

    It's all relative I suppose. I had a disfellowshipped person tell me that, underneath it all they still believed it was "the truth" - implying that they were better than me because I had told them I no longer believed it was the truth.

  • MsGrowingGirl20

    THANKS Steve2, i never thought of it like that. I have no idea how to deal with this.

  • Hortensia

    Ignore it. She'll settle back down into her old routine. If you push her on it, she'll get defensive and more JW.

    You get on with your life, let her do whatever she wants. I used to tell my mother, "Mom, I don't want to hear it."

  • Iown Mylife
    Iown Mylife

    you know what, this sounds familiar to me. I call it resistance - like whatever i say, certain people say the opposite. Feels like they are being passive aggressive towards me.

  • ABibleStudent

    Hi MsGrowingGirl20, It is the "Spiritual Food" that they received at the WTBTS convention. I noticed a tendency for the cult persona to be dominate and over-compensate for the behavior of the authentic persona of my former JW friend when she returned from conventions/assemblies. It will pass in a couple of weeks. If you want to learn more about this behavior and how to respond to it, I would recommend that you read Steve Hassan's books.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • Scully

    Your mom is compensating. Being a marginal JW was okay for her when you were the zealous one - maybe she felt that she could "ride your coattails" as it were. Now that you've started criticizing the WTS, she probably feels that she has to pick herself up by the bootstraps and set a better example for you.

    Hopefully your mom's renewed zeal will be short lived. The love bombing won't last forever and once it's finished, she'll lose steam again. Perhaps when that happens, you'll be able to connect with her and start helping her develop her critical thinking skills. Ultimately, that's the ticket that will reveal the man behind the curtain.

  • exwhyzee

    I'd say your Mom is feeling guilty for your having left the truth because when you were trying, she wasn't very supportive . Maybe your DF'd friend was teetering between going back or leaving for good and was bouncing things off of you.

  • Mum

    This story sounds a lot like mine. I started "publishing" when I was 15. My parents started studying with the witnesses when I was 9. My mom was very critical, called me a fanatic, said she noticed that the CO got special treatment, sarcastically called me "the preacher" when I did anything she didn't like, and so on.

    I quit the dubs when I was 32. A few years later, my mom got baptized and became a "true believer." I think it was because she had failing health and "couldn't" do all of the Jw stuff. She listened to the meetings by phone and did not go out in service. When my daughter pointed out some doctrinal inconsistencies, she said, "I would talk to them about it, but they'd take it the wrong way." When I was not around, apparently she sorrowfully would tell other family members (none of them dubs), "My oldest daughter used to be such a gooood little Jehovah's Witness."

    Who could ever know what she was really thinking? Not I.

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