Now there's trouble among the Lutherans

by ChuckD 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • ChuckD
    ChuckD

    Lutheran Minister Arrested On Charges Of Boring Young Children

    PERU, IL— St. Luke's Lutheran Church was rocked by scandal Tuesday, when Rev. Bob Tillich, the church's pastor of 12 years, was arrested on suspicion of boring as many as 23 children within the congregation. "Reverend Bob always seemed like the sweetest man," parishioner Vera Crandall said following the arrest. "When my son said he made him watch three 1975 filmstrips about the suffering of Job, I was shocked." In the wake of the arrest, seven former Sunday-school students, dating as far back as 1989, have stepped forward with charges that Tillich subjected them to inappropriately tedious parables.

  • Francois
    Francois

    If that's the case, and boring people in general, much less children, would get the dubs brought up on hundreds of thousands of charges. The last time I went to a meeting of any kind was back in about 1976. They were serving up the same old re-cycled garbage I'd been hearing ever since I 1955. And I'd say they're STILL serving up in 2002 the same crap they were serving up in 1955. I've seen you guys quoting things from the recent WTs, and it looks just like that 1955 shit to me.

    Francois

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    American Midwestern Lutherans are SUPPOSED to be boring!! Doesn't anyone listen to Garrison Keillor on "The Prairie Home Companion" radio show?

    You've got your Scandinavian Lutherans who like their bland food, dull gossip, dull sex, etc., and who think lutefisk is a delicacy beyond compare! Their favorite rock song is by Huey Lewis, "Hip to be Square".

    This arrest was obviously engineered by a jealous minister from across town.

    -J.R.

    This post was not evaluated by any mental health professionals.
    Any opinions expressed are those of a fuzzy, cuddly rodent.

  • William Penwell
    William Penwell

    Francois,

    The last time I went to a meeting of any kind was back in about 1976. They were serving up the same old re-cycled garbage I'd been hearing ever since I 1955.
    I have been around them since the 1960's and their stuff now is even more boring.

    Will

    "I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's."
    Mark Twain

  • Haereticus
    Haereticus

    Francois

    I downloaded this audio file from some elders meeting held some time ago. Playing these files did take me back tens of years. The only difference being rays of new light that cancelled previus new light on the subject.

    Gopher

    I am not familiar with anybody here who would enjoy lutefisk. Here it is just a part of traditional (pronounced: compulsory) xmas menu. Closer to your area it might help people get back to their roots when needed. Whereas one time in the past "Hip to be Square" by Huey Lewis used to be a faworite song of my son.

  • CoolBreeze
    CoolBreeze

    Oh no, what shoking news. I was baptised ELCA Lutheran 2 years ago, and although I enjoy the teachings, I must admit the Lutherans are a bit mellow. I have always seen American christianity as being of two camps. In the "Collard Green and Corn Bread camp" you have the Southern Baptists, Penticostals, and other Southern Fundi movements. In the "White Bread and Mayonaise" camp you have the Lutherans, Episcopailians, and other northern liberal reformed churches.

    Anton

  • larc
    larc

    Francois,

    I spent a half a day at a convention last summer, and believe me, they have hit new lows when it comes to bordom. I took a few notes and with each speaker I noted that they were well prepared and organized. I also noted that they had a robot, monotone quality to their delivery.

    I remember back in the old days we were taught at the Theocratic Ministry School to demonstrate good voice modulation, emphasis, and enthusiasm. I saw no evidence of these qualities in any of the speakers I heard. After a few hours, I had to leave. I couldn't take any more of it.

  • Hyghlandyr
    Hyghlandyr

    Personally I thought the meetings were cool. Reading some of the repetitions now, it seems kinda dull. But I was in in 88, out in 95 and by then I was missing a lot of meetings. But for a person who likes to talk, the JW concept is pretty cool. I know lots that didnt like goin door to door, I did it before the JWs and have done it since.

    One time me and a brother were in a car group with a sister and someone else. I cannot recall who the fourth was, even whether it was a brother and a sister. What I do remember was a young, footballish type dude came to the door. The sister was a total hottie. The brother leans over to me and says, now tell me, if she was at your door wouldnt you listen to?

    Then there was the time he and her and I and another sister and her brother and I all prepared for the meeting together. The watchtower study said something about spiritual supermen. Or we came up with the term based on the study. Well I told them all I as gonna do this (and I put my hands out, one drawn back and the other pointed forward, as superman would do). They cracked up thinking I was joking. Then they pleaded with me not to do it lest they burst out in the meeting. Well, I agreed, sorta. Then I accidently dropped my magazine at that moment, really I did. And I couldnt resist, so I pointed to the floor. I was kicked from all sides.

    Then there was the time I was on an assembly part. So we had a big thing in one of the halls to prepare. One of the sister's said on her part, that at this point she didnt know if her study was going to get baptised or not but if she was, she would say so then. Well, she said so. I was so exhuberant I burst out clapping.

    All
    by
    myself.

    This went on for about 15 seconds, with me clapping really loudly, and standing up. Eventually the rest of the 1200 or so took their cue and joined in.

    Later my part came up, the pioneer part. I speak loud, and I speak with my hands as well. It is an Irish thing. Afterwards I was surrounded by twenty of the hottest women Ive ever see. Oh brother frantz this and oh brother frantz that. Of course back then I was pretty naive. Now I would just tell them to...oh wait better becareful what I say here. But those of you from yahoo know EXACTLY what I would do now (and NO it has nothing to do with six, seven and eight)

    Then there was the time when a young brother got up to give a talk, in the main hall. I was still fairly ignorant of things at that time, even though I had been a witness a few years and was a pioneer. After he finished his talk, I clapped vigorously. Which of course spurred the rest of the congregation to join in.

    Then was the time that I had a pioneer part on the service meeting. I don't think I had been at that hall too long. Maybe a few months. One of the sisters was a big vegetarian and had convinced me to try it. I did, and was satisfied. So I said that on the meeting part...I could see some of the folks cringing, but she had a huge smile. Btw, she was the mum of the hottie sister I mentioned earlier, used to be a model and was a hottie herself.

    Then was the time that I was out with my sister, at the first hall. We were out with another brother sister team. My sister somehow cut her finger, or slammed her finger in my car door or something. I cannot recal. At any rate, we decided to pull into Kenny Kings (thats Kentucky Fried Chicken to you uninitiated) and get a cup of ice. Well I didnt feel right just getting free ice so I ordered a soda as well. One cup of ice, and one soda. They double checked I said yes. Well his sister leans up and says 'ask for four straws'. He yells at her DONT tell him that he will doo....too late, I was askin for four straws. When we pulled up to the window and the entire staff was crowded around. BTW his sister was a hottie too.

    Then there was a number of times I started hangin out with the folks from the sister congregation, because no one from my congregation would go out in the afternoon. (This was the first congregation I attended, the other was a rural and didnt have a sister congregation) Well we used to just go out for all hours. Then we would drive around, just hanging out. It was phenomenal. Two sisters, a brother of one of the sisters, and me. Now the sister of the brother was a hottie. And she had buck teeth too.

    So anyhow the four of us were out one time. I worked for this brother that had an insurance firm. Very well off. So I decided to show them late one saturday evening, his very large and posh office. Called him since the security guard would not let us up without approval. Then we played netwars all night long. That is an old maze game that came with the Novell operating system. It was multiplayer and we hunted each other down and the baddies.

    Maybe it is just me. Maybe the content of the meetings is pretty dull. I kinda figure a meeting really isnt about the content. Anymore than a game is about the game. It is just a way for people to get together. And I think I met a lot of cool people at the hall.

    And something else, is it me, or do fringe religions have a disproportionate amount of hotties, when compared with other religions?

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