I wish my dad was like Bill Bowen!!!

by ShaunaC 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • ShaunaC

    One of my very best friends, who I also consider a sister, left the Org about a year after me. She is actually closer to my parents age (she's 40) but our families always did things together while we were all JW's and now that her and I are not we're even closer.

    After she left the Org she told me about the molestation she and her younger sister suffered at the hands of their father. At the time he was not a JW as was their mother. When she was in her mid teens she finally confessed what had happened to her mother. During those years her father had become a JW and the sexual abuse had stopped. Her mother was distraught but could do nothing since he was now a JW in good standing. She has suffered with the knowledge that her husband committed these horrible acts against her 2 older daughters for 25 years. Needless to say, she's not the happiest woman in the world.

    My friend did not receive any counseling for this until about 10 years ago. She had always had a suspicion that her youngest sister (who is now 25, married with a child of her own) might have also been a victim. Well, apparently just within the last few days she found out she was right.

    What sickens me is that this man, who has been a family friend for most of my life (I'm 27), was appointed a MS in the congo my dad presides as PO. My father knows the history of this man with his 2 older daughters. As if wasn't bad enough that he excused this man's disgusting behavior because it was prior to him becoming a JW, now come to find out he committed the same gross acts while in good standing. (Why would he not when he never got any counseling of his own...of course discouraged or outrightly condemned by the Org).

    I always felt my father was an exceptionally kind and honest man. I've never seen him behave in a haughty or self-righteous manner. In fact, any attempts to fix our relationship has always been done by my father (my mom is bit of a manipulating, resentful bitch). So it seriously distresses me to think that my father would allow this kind of stuff to happen in the congo he presides over. I wish he had the guts to be like Bill Bowen aka Silentlambs.

    I lost a great deal of respect for my father last night with the learning of this news. I am very tempted to call him up and tell him so!

    Losing my dad in yet another way,

  • SixofNine

    Hi Shauna,

    It is painful to realize that our parents are not the "stand up" type of people we imagined they are. Such is the case for almost all ex-JW's with parents who raised them as witness.

    I've said before: to be a JW male is to be steadily, surely, castrated. When a man gets "privileges of service" in the congregation, the castration process is sped up immediately.

    For an organization that make so much to do about male and female differences and roles, the JW org doesn't have much use for testicles.

  • ShaunaC

    Thanks, Mark, for your reply. I know everyone goes through this process of realizing your parents aren't as perfect as you thought they were. This is harder to learn in this instance because everything before I could chock up to JW brainwashing. But this feels more like he's not even the type of man at the core that I thought he was.

    BTW, we still need to chat on MSN. I may share some more pics for you artistic review!


  • LDH



    You know, they just have a bad case of cognitive dissonance. EVERY other religion that engaged in this type of behavior is slammed by the WBTS.

    But when it comes to critical review of their own organization, it just isn't there.


    Look in the "reuinions" forum....Zanex and I are getting together for lunch next week. Wish you were here.

  • Tanalyst

    Your Dad is just going by the books- Wt. books!

    Be a real woman and call him, have no fear.

    Hopefully soon, Wt. will follow The R. Catholic church's lead and not let molesters ever be in charge of other humans.

  • sf

    "I am very tempted to call him up and tell him so!":

    "I lost a great deal of respect for YOU father last night with the learning of this news."

    When I learned of the Lies, I said "mom, i've just discovered some very disturbing things re: my past life inside the jw religion and the Watchtower Organization" and I'm stunned, to say the least".

    I am now considered "very apostate" in her mindseye. That's okay today.

    {{{{hugs to you}}}} I know how you hurt. It never really feels 100 percent better. Yet, you WILL get to a place within, after a time, that you'll be comfortable enough to live...until you can further your healing processes.

    Sincerely, sKally...the past is the past, yet it is ALWAYS present Klass

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