Accountability? Ha! Blame the Garden Tool

by D8TA 2 Replies latest jw friends

  • D8TA

    The one and only!
    The spectacular!
    The item of many uses!

    I present to you all...
    The Amazing! . . .

    Garden Tool!

    I like the Garden Tool. I admit it. I'm a big fan of this product.
    It's a most useful tool. It aids me when I'm planting vegetables,
    helps me with the apple tree. The variety of uses it has around my,
    yard are unbelievable! Turns the place in to a virtual paradise, I tell you.
    Owning one for myself, I can tell you, has made me a happier man.

    Now, there are some people who don't like the Garden Tool.
    For some reason, and it's their right mind you-no dispute
    here, they really don't find what all the hoopla is about on this
    Garden Tool. I'm sure they have their reasons, some may not have
    a yard. Others, maybe gardening and/or landscaping is not what
    catches their fancy. But they don't like it, it's their right. I can
    respect that. So, they debate and criticize the Garden Tool.
    No biggie.

    Now I've found that there are actually two uses for the Garden Tool.

    A) To beautify life, to help the world be a happier place. For myself,
    family, and nieghbors.


    B) Bury this Garden Tool in to my nieghbor's skull. Though it was not
    intended for this type of use, I can utilize this tool in this way.

    In fact, let me ask you: Which is the more exciting and profitable way to use
    the Garden Tool?

    Let's ask the the popular media shall we?

    1) "Ms. Fields plants new rose bush with Garden Tool in her backyard"! . . .not catchy, is it.
    No flair! I mean come on! Where's the action!?! Where's the suspense??? Doesn't MOST
    EVERYONE use the Garden Tool in this way? What's the big deal in Ms. Field's daily
    gardening habits, using a tool the way it's suppose to be used? No big deal at all.

    Now...let's try:

    2) "MS. FIELDS HACKS FAMILY OF 6 WITH GARDEN TOOL!" that's more like it!!! That
    grabs everyone's attention! That will get them Newspapers to sell. Not everyday you see someone
    take the common household item and hack a family of 6 with it, now do you?? And we'll get sponsers
    for our television media outlets too! With all those viewers and readers waiting to see what happens
    next to Ms. Fields, I'm sure there are many corporations willing to capatalize on this situation. They'll
    sponser 20/20 or Dateline with thier name brand detergeants, motoroil, tampons, you name it! For that
    "exclusive" presentation on Ms. Fields' story.

    And here come the critics of the Garden Tool! Filling all the cable news networks shows, giving their
    "expert" opinions. Writing their editorails of woe the Garden Tool has caused.
    Proudly proclaiming a sense of victory, that a situation has occured in the name
    of the Garden Tool. Somehow gives credance to their THEORIES and OPINIONS, grants evidence
    and facts to postulate that the Garden Tool is truly useless and evil to humanity.

    Let's stick with subjects (B) and (2) shall we? After all, it's the more interesting point of this article.
    See after Ms. Fields utilizes the Garden Tool in this way. Somehow, in U.S. society, it really isn't
    Ms. Fields fault. It's the Garden Tool's fault. Really, it is. Ms. Fields is not accountable to her actions
    for maybe a variety of reasons. Some may include a:

    Abusive childhood
    Strict upbringing
    Didn't get to go to the prom
    Was bullied at school
    Daddy was overbearing
    Mommy was overbearing
    She was the black sheep of her classroom

    Please, by all means, add to this list.

    I mean, forget that Ms. Fields had something wrong in her head
    when she used the Garden Tool. By all means, please, forget that Ms. Fields decided to use this Garden
    Tool for her own purposes. That Ms. Fields weilded the Garden Tool, decided to go to her nieghbor's house,
    and hack up the family of 6. I mean, after all...just the mere presence of the Garden Tool instigates this
    behavior in most people, now doesn't it? .....doesn't it?

    Or perhaps it was Ms. Fields utilizing the Garden Tool in the wrong way. To fufill a desire of the darker side she
    held within herself. You know, that darker side? We all have one, though some won't like to admit it. Most of us
    contain those darker feelings: Hate, Revenge,....Murderous impulses. Most of us on this planet know how to
    contain these non helpfull behaviors. Ms. Field succumbed to it. And utilized a tool to achieve the end means.
    So really, it wasn't the Garden Tools fault at all. In fact, sad to say, it was Ms. Fields.

    The point here, there are many Garden Tools in our lives. Education, Religion, Science, Tradition...etc. etc.
    And these, in turn have many tools borne from them. The everyday John & Jan Doe utilizes these tools
    in healthy positive way. Yet there are some in this world, that utilize these tools for there own darker
    needs. It's not the Garden Tool that causes the problem, it's the People who use it in the wrong way...
    THEY are the problem.


  • Doc_jedd

    .....Damn Garden Tools......Satens Toyz Is What They Are!!!!!
    Get Rid Of Em Folks!!...Burn Em, Ban Em, Avoid Em.....Or You`ll End Up Just Like Poor Mrs. Fields!!!!!!!!..........Jedd who`s out burnin down his tool shed right now!!

  • Beck_Melbourne


    Maybe Ms Fields heard voices...talking garden gnomes whispering to her in husky voices to do bad things to good people with garden tools.

    If thats the case..the tools fault? Ms Fields fault? Or...the talking garden gnomes fault?? Who believes in talking garden gnomes?? "Not I" says the judge because you can't prosecute a garden gnome.

    I'm with you D8TA...I think it is the person not the tool, but I do think the tool acts as an aid. I also think that some people are disturbed in the mind...and the proper use of the tool becomes distorted.

    There was a case I read where a disturbed man tried to murder his girlfriend by pushing a crucifix up her nose and into the back of her head. Graphic to say the least...but the lady survived (true story btw). She did receive some medical treatment...and I can't recall if she was brain damaged as a result. However, who was to blame, was it the man or the crucifix??

    An ironic twist...the man served time in jail/gaol...the lady forgave him and they are together again as a couple...who was the true nutto in this case??


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