WTS Suggestion Box (to give back for all the things the WT has done for us)

by return of parakeet 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • return of parakeet
    return of parakeet

    Sometimes I think we're too hard on the WTS and the dubs. A dub's life, after all, is not an easy one: minimal formal education, low-paying jobs, incessant demands on their time for meetings, field service, shunning, regular beatings for their children, etc.

    Even the WTS itself is not immune. Think of all the hard work the GB must do to keep their "new light" up-to-date without making the old light look like a pack of lies. And then they have to contend with keeping their followers from viewing all the opposition on this site. It must be tough.

    It's time to give back a little for all the WTS has done for us. Only genuinely helpful suggestions are allowed. No "tear-down-the-Brooklyn-Headquarters" or "they-must-apologize" kind of thing.

    Here are two suggestions to start off:

    1. The WTS ought to keep templates for all the subjects dubs give talks about, sort of like "Cliffs Notes for Dubs" or "The Idiot's Guide to KH Talks." For example, the talk given about bad associations hasn't changed since God invented dirt. All the WTS has to do is dust one off now and then, make a few changes to accommodate "new light," and it's ready to go. What a time-saver that would be for elders trying to compose a talk from scratch about the same old crap! The time saved could be used for field service and stalking potential apostates.

    2. There's been some discussion about the WTS coming out with a new Bible translation soon. I suggest that it and any future books be bound in loose-leaf binders. That way, whenever an uncomfortable fact comes along that must be explained and incorporated into their publications as "new light," new (and truthful) pages can be sent to dubs (for a fee) to replace the defective pages. This would also eliminate the need for revisionist tactics. The Truth can be edited as needed. No embarrassing old publications being passed around on the sly at book studies.

    WTS, pay attention! Here's the place to find some helpful and time-saving tips. We apostates aren't ALL evil. Just mostly evil.

  • zed is dead
    zed is dead

    New Light Flash Cards!

    zed

  • cobaltcupcake
    cobaltcupcake

    Energy-saving, low-voltage nu lite.

    Recycling - for doctrine flip-flops.

    Heart-healthy spiritual food. Oh wait, that can't be done. JWs don't acknowledge their heart - it's treacherous.

  • Fernando
    Fernando

    A course and videos on how to become a cult leader (member of the ruling religious clergy class) could take some of the burden off the Watchtower Sanhedrin (GB) and Pharisees ("elders").


    (Why does the "true religion" secretly blind its followers to the "Good News" according to Paul, Moses, Isaiah and Psalms?)

  • return of parakeet
    return of parakeet

    zed: "New Light Flash cards!"

    "I the WTS, right or wrong." "The FDS is the GB; The GB is the FDS." Repeat until it's automatic, like a robot.

    cobaltcupcake: " Energy-saving, low-voltage nu lite. Recycling - for doctrine flip-flops. Heart-healthy spiritual food. Oh wait, that can't be done. JWs don't acknowledge their heart - it's treacherous. "

    The new "green" WTS getting started on doing their part to make earth a paradise. Love it.

    Fernando: "A course and videos on how to become a cult leader (member of the ruling religious clergy class) could take some of the burden off the Watchtower Sanhedrin (GB) and Pharisees ("elders")."

    Perfect! A Power-Point presentation with bullet points would do the trick: (1) How to give a public talk and sound like you really mean it. (2) How to conduct a kangaroo court Judicial Committee hearing. (3) How to sidestep, confuse and/or threaten r&f dubs when they ask insightful but embarrassing (to the WTS) questions. (4) Grape or cherry Kool-Aid?

  • Newly Enlightened
    Newly Enlightened

    LMAO!

    I want to thank them for all the years of hilarity and amusement that the Brothers Larry, Curly & Moe Elders have entertained us with.

    Hopefully we'll have a video soon [We're working on it] for Youtube for more priceless entertainment. SHHHHHH it's a secret. Don't want to give away anymore. We will let everyone know when it's ready.

  • return of parakeet
    return of parakeet

    Newly Enlightened: "I want to thank them for all the years of hilarity and amusement that the Brothers Larry, Curly & Moe Elders have entertained us with."

    Another good idea for the GB! Use humor to teach the Truth. A spoonful of sugar will help get some of the more unpalatable doctrines down those dubs' gullets.

    Create some videos to be shown at KHs that depict, for example, dubs dancing a funny jig as the world comes to an end. You may need some special effects to create an authentic Armageddon scene -- refer to those zany illustrations you paste on your mags of buildings crumbling and children screaming -- that's always a hoot.

    WTS, bookmark this thread to remind you to check for Newly Enlightened's soon-to-be-released Youtube entertainment.

  • Newly Enlightened
    Newly Enlightened

    I will let everyone know. We will post the link when it is posted. Along with a follow up with the CO & BOE on the aftermath.

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