recently I have been going to a new church called Christ the King. It's not a megachurch but smaller size. It's not in a typical church, rather they worship in a warehouse. Perhaps they call it a temple instead. I started this class the other called discovery and it does a rundown of christianity. I have no plans to jump the broom with this church, I am really more curious than anything and I really don't know whether I believe in Jesus or not. It seems to me that in the organization they didn't really promote a kinship like they do with Jehovah. For me this helps me learn about me and what I truly believe. Another aspect i like is that they are very social. Many different groups to join, in fact because I mentioned an adventure/explorer club, the next sunday they told me there are plans in the making all because of me. I do wonder if this is their versian of love bombing. I am so suspicious of all churches because of the WTS, I sometimes wonder if its all in my head. So going back to the discovery class, I am being taught the basics from a little book that has only scriptures and diagrams. The people that were the leaders, a husband and a wife, told me about themselves, they used to be party people I told them i was also one once upon a time. Probably not to the degree they were. The husband also told me that he believed in a different kind of evolution, where people in a different region look different because of their climates and food. I told him that I agree with him and how I have never understood how many different men from one place all look so different and they only came from 2 people, adam and eve. They also talked with me a bit about shunning. The told me that his old church wanted to shun a girl because she was pregnant and he didn't like the idea so he left, but he then explained that shunning is in the bible, but the JW's take it to in extreme. Their idea of shunning is you don't hang out with people that do bad things, but talking to them is fine. I never asked what they considered a "shunning offense." But with my suspicious attitude I wondered if these people we saying these thing in order to really find out if I am compatible with their church. Kind of like an interview. Am I ruined by the WTS, am I all out of faith. I wouldn't care if it is Budha or Judiasm. I need something because everytime I close my eyes, my mind fixates on death and how I cannot fathom the fact that I would no longer exist, at all ever again. Even if it is a lie, I need something to put my mind at ease and stop living in fear. I know what your thinking, cognitive dissonance from one religion to the other, just stay with the cult if that is how you feel. But if I am just going to live a religious lie, I want freedom to do what I want to do. I just want to be spiritually happy. I better stop now because I can go on forever.
Thanks for the ear