Ugh. Attended a funeral recently at the KH...

by Muddy Waters 9 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Muddy Waters

  I can't believe how horrid this experience was. First, the thought of going into a KH again filled me with total anxiety and even nausea.
  
  Second, couldn't believe how much time it took to get ready to get there. The whole dress-up thing... can't believe I used to do this 3 times a week!
  
  And third, the awful KH experience itself. Since I'm in an "inactive" (read: faded) state, people will still talk to me, but I found their approach was really creepy and aggressive. It was like an INTERROGATION, full of questions to determine my "status" and activity (or not). Like, "Oh, how nice to see you! What KH are you in now? How is [spouse]? How are your kids? Are they going to meetings? Are they still in the truth?" Almost EVERY single JW that spoke with me was like this.
  
  When I said, "Well, we're doing fine, we're all very happy. Haven't been to the meetings for a long time, though." It all changed. Their attitudes, expressions. One "brother" even looked dismayed and said, "Why aren't you going to meetings anymore? Do you want to DIE? Don't you want to LIVE??"
  
  It was a really creepy experience, and the funeral talk was, of course, the standard outline (read: advertisement) for the Org.
  
  The KH itself now reminds me of a funeral home. Sterile. No natural light or windows. The brothers standing at the entrance like bodyguards. The whole horrid atmosphere of control and regulated everything.

  It was good to be out of there. It's good to be out, period.
  
  
  
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  wha happened?

  Interesting how it looks from the outside
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  jgnat

  I relate to the creepy interrogation. Did they touch you? Like on the arm or shoulder? It was like a deliberate invasion of space to establish an intimacy, unearned.

  My status is "unbelieving mate" so they paste on the smiles and pretend I could turn any day.
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  Black Sheep

  Having forgotten to get baptised, when they pop me a question I can make them pay and they don't have an excuse to bugger off.
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  Purza

  I don't think I could step foot in a KH ever again - especially for a funeral.

  I went to a "real" funeral last week at a Lutheran church. After the religious portion of the service, families members got up to speak about the deceased. I didn't even know the woman (I was there because we knew her brother) and I cried my eyes out. It was that moving.

  I can honestly say I never cried my eyes out at a KH listening to what the deceased "believed." The dub memorials are just so cold and unfeeling. Sterile is a really good word Muddy Waters.

  Purza
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  Steve_C

  Muddy Waters, your words perfectly describe my experience and feelings the two times I went to a KH funeral post-fade. NEVER AGAIN.
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  tenyearsafter

  Like my "never a JW" wife said about going to the KH..."I feel like I am sitting through a tax seminar".
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  Change Name

  Hi there Muddy Waters

  Like you I went to a memorial service of a friend of mine who is not a Jehovah's Witnesses. It was a somber experience after my association with Jehovahs Witnesses. I did not like being there because when they quoted the Bible they did not give any scriptures to back up when they were teaching. They were teaching on heresay.

  I felt like an outcast as well. Nobody approached me thanking me for attending. I went up to my friends wife and expressed my condolences and left without any conversation with anybody from that Church. Not even the Pastor.
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  problemaddict

  Its been 5 months, and that is around the time people start really getting suspicious. So i went to a funeral, and people were VERY kind (I have a nice hall), and of course there was the courus of "we have been missing your wonderful comments", and even if I was speaking with someone for more than 30 seconds "the well....this old world is going south, this is the best way to live."

  I just respond with kindness and find that at the end of it I feel good, have paid respect, dealt with the people that are nice nicely, and dealt with the haters by taking the high road.

  Feels good.
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  Chaserious

  My first funeral experience after leaving JWs was a Friends (Quaker) funeral. There was no sermon and anyone could stand up at their seat and say anything. The family spoke in the same format after friends and colleagues were finished. This went on for about two hours. I thought it was an excellent way to memorialize a loved one and much more personal and moving than the cookie cutter funeral talks I was used to. I decided that's the kind of funeral I'd like to have, provided my survivors can round up enough folks to attend.