We use to be great friends, religion was never an issue and we could be on the phone hours on end. She always told me how much of a good friend I was but when she brought up religion and told her I didn't believe that way and that "I hope that doesn't get in the way of are friendship." It didn't that night but the morning after she began to preach to me, back then I didn't really know much about the bible to speak out or show her any flaws but now I do and now it's been constant debates (That I win) But I hate that are friendship even has to have that in their. It didn't fully bother me until later on. But now I'm concerned on the way she views me and what her group teaches her about people outside of the organization.
"If we stop actively supporting Jehovah's work, then we start following Satan. There is no middle ground." Watchtower 2011 Jul 15 p.18
"But Jehovah's servants already belong to the only organization that will survive the end of this wicked system of things." Watchtower 2007 Dec 15 p.14
"But if we were to draw away from Jehovah's organization, there would be no place else to go for salvation and true joy." Watchtower 1993 Sep 15 p.22
And the most recent one
Our choice of associates.Of course, some contact with unbelievers—such as at school, at work, and when sharing in the ministry—is unavoidable. It is quite another matter, though, to socialize with them, even cultivating close friendships with them. Do we justify such association by saying that they have many good qualities? “Do not be misled,” warns the Bible. “Bad associations spoil useful habits.” (1 Cor. 15:33) Just as a small amount of pollution can contaminate clean water, friendship with those who do not practice godly devotion can contaminate our spirituality and lead us into adopting worldly viewpoints, dress, speech, and conduct."
WT Study Feb. 15, 2013.
It makes it seem like she's not really my friend. That she thinks I'm with Satan because I can see flaws. I hate that she thinks that they have all the answers when there's no proof, when there's been many faults. Anyone can just follow what someone tells them to do. It takes will bravery to question and search for your own beliefs.And she was one of my truest friends all these years and it's killing me mentally thinking it's all going away because she blindly follows anything they say. I really wish to talk to her about it but I have bad anxiety and tend to feel like to pass out when I'm head on with a problem. Any advice?
Conditional Friendships?
by TheNurseInBlack 6 Replies latest jw friends
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TheNurseInBlack
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smiddy
TNIB, Now you know,freindship with the JW`s is totally conditional.Obviously she thought you were a potential convert, and when you made it plain you didn`t beleive that way she starts to put the screws in.She is virtually saying to you if YOU want to be MY freind ,you have to beleive what I do .
smiddy
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zeb
Ask her if the pedophiles in the JW organisation spoil it for her?
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The Searcher
@ TNIB
Try to use the Bible to get her to reason.
Ask her why Rutherford decided to capitalise on the generally accepted Divine name of God, instead of retaining the God-given name of 'Christians'? (Acts 11:26)
You can then ask her to read the following Scriptures to prove to herself that she is Witnessing for Christ!!
You could also mention to her the change in the Org's letterhead in recent years to "Christian Congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses".
Matthew 10:18 - "YOU will be haled before governors and kings for my sake, for a witness to them and the nations.
Mark 13:9 - and YOU will be beaten in synagogues and be put on the stand before governors and kings for my sake, for a witness to them."
Acts 1:8 - "You will be witnesses of me;
John 1:15 - "John bore witness about him..." [JESUS]
John 5:37 - "the Father who sent me has himself borne witness about me."
John 8:18 - "the Father who sent me bears witness about me."
John 15:26,27 - "the spirit of the truth, which proceeds from the Father, that one will bear witness about me; and YOU in turn, are to bear witness." [exactly as the spirit bore witness - about me];
Acts 10:39 - "And we are witnesses of all the things he [Jesus] did..."
Acts 10:43 - "To him [Jesus] all the prophets bear witness, that everyone putting faith in him gets forgiveness of sins through his name.
Acts 11:26 - "the disciples were by divine providence called Christians."
Acts 13:31 - "and for many days he [Jesus] became visible to those who had gone up with him from Gal´i·lee to Jerusalem, who are now his witnesses to the people.
Acts 22:15 - "because you are to be a witness for him [Jesus] to all men of things you have seen and heard."
Acts 22:20 - "and when the blood of Stephen your [Jesus'] witness was being spilled..."
Acts 23:11 - "For as you have been giving a thorough witness on the things about me in Jerusalem..."
Acts 26:16 - "For to this end I [Jesus] have made myself visible to you, in order to choose you as an attendant and a.......(respecting me) witness
1 Corinthians 1:6 - "even as the witness about the Christ has been rendered firm among YOU..."
1 Tim. 2:6,7 - "who [Christ] gave himself a corresponding ransom for all—[this is] what is to be witnessed to at its own particular times. For the purpose of this witness I was appointed a preacher and an apostle..."
2 Timothy 1:8 - "Therefore do not become ashamed of the witness about our Lord.. [Christ]"
1 John 5:9 - "the witness God gives is greater, because this is the witness God gives, the fact that he has borne witness concerning his Son."
Revelation 1:9 - "....came to be in the isle that is called Pat´mos for speaking about God and bearing witness to Jesus."
Revelation 12:17 - "And the dragon grew wrathful at the woman, and went off to wage war with the remaining ones of her seed, who observe the commandments of God and have the work of bearing witness to Jesus."
Revelation 17:6 - "And I saw that the woman was drunk with the blood of the holy ones and with the blood of the witnesses of Jesus"
Revelation 19:10 - "But he tells me: "Be careful! Do not do that! All I am is a fellow slave of you and of your brothers who have the work of witnessing to Jesus. Worship God; for the bearing witness to Jesus is what inspires prophesying."
Revelation 20:4 - "Yes, I saw the souls of those executed with the ax for the witness they bore to Jesus."
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MsD
I have been friends with a JW for a long time.... Since 2003 actually. But I realize that she will only associate with me if I am studying. I haven't studied since October of last year. She talks to me once in a while. She hasn't cut off ties but I think it's because she feels there's still some hope I may get baptized. I have yet to tell her how I totally feel about the Organization. I believe that if I do she will want nothing to do with me instead I've just been telling her little things... Like planting seeds. Still she is a pretty devout follower. Her whole family and other friends are JW's. She is a born in. I feel like regardless of what I tell her about the Org that is negative she would never leave. It's sad because this is someone I've been friends with for a long time. We have a lot in common despite religion. Still, I've prepared myself mentally that she may cut ties with me. If she doesn't that would be great but I believe in time I will be able to tell if she will. I made several other friends and they haven't spoken to me since I've stopped studying. I knew it would most likely happen and it has and I'm fine with it. I know plenty of people who aren't JW's and my whole family can't really stand the religion so I guess that'll help in the long run.
In your situation, I'd say be prepared that this person will cut ties with you just for the sake of their religion. It can be quite difficult to reason with them.
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jgnat
I am with my Witness every day even though I will never be one. The conflict that the WTS policies impose is his problem, not mine. I think Steve Hassan's approach can give you some comfort. There are two people trapped inside your friend, the genuine person and the cultist. The genuine person is the one who has been such a loyal and constant friend whom you could talk about anything. It's the cultist you've been arguing with. One of the tricks of engaging the natural person is to calm the cultist. Don't be a threat to their "spirituality". Remind your friend of times past, common hobbies and interests. Engage her in those things.
I listened to hassan's youtube presentation and I was impressed again that we can reach our loved-ones with a campaign to help them think for themselves. You can do this by leaving your friend with a simple question. Don't answer it for her; let her ruminate on it long and hard.
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TheNurseInBlack
Thanks everyone for your answers.