Friends Friends, please take your seats now, we are going to start the meeting, and to start our meeting we will be singing "jeovah is our refuge" song # 34534523423424
*music starts*
though thousands, will be murdered, yes at, your very side, ten thousand babies murdered on your left side, and grannies on your right, a mere young boy will step over their corpses, to lead us through, to the 1000yr reign (which after 1000 years we will start all the famines and everything back up again)
we thankyou blah blah blah *end of song*
ok let us pray, we invite brother smith to lead us in prayer:
oh bleessed be jeova thankyou for dis meetin in heya, we be so inspired by dese scriptures and so thankful for dat dera revolution book dat you gave us der....we so thankful and when we be thinkin bout moses going to dat dera mountain he got dat der law from the bush, and the peoples came to dat mountain and said we so thankful fo dis tablet der ...you said to moses go to dat deya mountain and da peopleels we say oh blesssed be , and some of dem peoples begin worship dat statue but we so thankful to you jeovarh for smitin dem bitches...i mean, please let yo spirit be on dat speaker fo today and we love dis spiritual festival thankee thankeee jeovarhah!!! in jesus name, amen.
first we'd like to invite brother camel to the stage who has prepared the part "are you giving your finest to teh lord?"
brother camel please
ARE YOU?@!!?!!@?!@ giving the lord your best and finest??? TURN WITH ME TO ISAIAH CHAPTER 9 VERSE 4 please. DO YOU SEE WHAT IT SAYS HERE, YOU WICKED SERVANTS? YOKE OF MY LOAD?? wait a second, wrong scripture. ANYWAY, ARE YOU A PIONEER? OR MS OR ELDER? IF NOT, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY EITHER QUIT YOUR JOB AND LICK MY BOOTS OR JUST GO HOME AND KILL YOURSELF.
ok thank you brother camel. next on the docket we have brother gay, who is going to talk to us about being "clean"
brother gay: yes are we clean? did you bathe today? we serve a clean god, and he expects you to wash yo ass. did you know that money is dirty? just think about all the nasty hands that have touched that same money in your pocket. please wash your hands after using the lavatory, this is a big one friends. we cannot have men holding their penis and then shaking hands with the sisters. the sisters do a fine job though at least with keeping the lavatory clean, but the brothers well, this is just very bad and jeoavha is angry because he can't be havin yall steppin in urine in this mothafucka.
the meeting is ajourn! and as a side note, any friends that do not engage in social behavior subsequent to the end of meeting, will be denoted as suspicious, regardless of outside responsibilites which may require a prompt exit from meeting, you are still being watched!