While growing up in my JW family, I was proud to stand up for my beliefs. I felt joy to be part of a special property that belonged to God. I stood up with courage for my beliefs every time I had the opportunity, in school, with friends and non JW friends, while talking to my non JW family, with my neighbors, with teachers. I surely fought the excellent fight against apostates, false brothers, apathy and the lies from other churches.
I have read Macmillan's book, listened to thousands of hours of JW talks, had CO's and DO's stay over for vacation, spent time with special pioneers, visit the WT HQ many times, read, preach, convert, pioneer, give public talks, stay obedient in every sense of the word. Everywhere I went, I wore with pride the name of Jehovah's Witness, not caring about the stigma that comes with such a name.
I have believed because I want to believe... I've been trying hard, extremely hard to believe... believe in this movement that I have been a part of all my life.
FOR WHAT? To be lied to, manipulated and deceived!!!!
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! It is time to break off the shackles of deceit and lies. Because I know that Jesus is "the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through him" New International Version (©1984) (John 14:6)
While growing up I waited with excitement the fulfillment of all the prophecies during my life time. (The 20th century) My dad went through the 1975 debacle and I was born shortly after that. Names like Ray Franz, Perter Gregerson were popular while growing up in my congregation (which was the first Spanish congregation in a 2 hour radius) My DO was Episcopo himself... the guy who said “you can be sincere but you are still an apostate".
The 80's came along and went, the 90's came along and went, but then in early 2001 people I cared for and loved started dying. My parents youth was vanishing and I was becoming turning into a man. THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN!! Yet we continue to wait on the Watchtower/Jehovah. I suddenly realized without the help of any outsiders, something is wrong and I came to the realization that I too was going to grow old in this system of things.
We had a Zone Visit in the US in October of 2011, one of the higher ups in the WT said something that made me STOP and THINK, he asked: "Are you willing to serve Jehovah even if he tells you that you will die?" "Do you love him with all your heart, to the point that you are willing to serve him for nothing in return?" "Are you grateful to be alive?" These were questions that lingered with me for many months and thus gave me the desire to search deeper, to do what I have never attempted to do, to test and challenge every aspect of my faith.
I took an unbiased approached, I left the prejudiced JW mentality behind, I took my sincere desire to know God and Jesus to the next level.
Months went by after that Zone Visit... in the summer of 2012 I finally had the courage to visit the infamous JWN website, later with skepticism and fear I started researching JWfacts, JWstruggle, JWsurvey and many others. I downloaded Crisis of Conscience and in SoCF, I listened to Dunlap’s tapes, I read The Finished mystery etc… I have been determined to put a good fight against all the arguments I found but I always came in short.
I still had some hope… until I saw this last night.