The light came on for me while I was re-reading this fantastic blog:
http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com/2006/08/youve-been-brainwashedpart-two.html
My favorite part:
"Cult members were hand-chosen by her. They were expected to be mere supplicants to her great wisdom. They must submit to her definitions of them. They must hang on her every word. They must listen to her shifting definitions of morality and incorporate them into every day life. Of course, what is right one day is wrong the next which is very unbalancing to your mind and keeps the narcissist in control. Hers is the voice of the Holy Spirit....to not act like you believe that to be true will result in harsh penalties. She took up more and more control of their everyday lives."
After reading this I quickly read grabbed my study magazines to see for myself. Here's what I observed:
-They violate boundaries. Where does Jehovah and Jesus end and they begin? Jehovah's will and their will are indistinguishable.
-They violate boundaries with their members: Everything that gives money/time/resources to the org= GOOD
Everything that takes money/time/resources away from the org= Bad
-They show no true remorse or gratitude.
-They surround themselves with genuinely good people to prop up their grandiose image.
Here are a list of traits from the DSM IV - how many have you seen?
-Reacting to criticism with anger, shame, or humiliation
-Taking advantage of others to reach their own goals
-Exaggerating their own importance, achievements, and talents
-Imagining unrealistic fantasies of success, beauty, power, intelligence, or romance
-Requiring constant attention and positive reinforcement from others
-Becoming jealous easily
-Lacking empathy and disregarding the feelings of others
-Being obsessed with oneself
-Pursuing mainly selfish goals
-Trouble keeping healthy relationships
-Becoming easily hurt and rejected
-Setting goals that are unrealistic
-Wanting "the best" of everything
-Appearing unemotional
Having only a few of these traits is normal. Having all of these traits is a problem.
Can I really trust these folks to make my spiritual decisions for me? If I had children?
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A lot of things that used to puzzle me make more sense now.
Why did I see a higher % of Narcissists in kingdom halls then the general population?
Why were the most dedicated ones I knew us looking so burnt out and miserable, when they should have been spiritually refreshed?
Why was it that most witnesses I knew were totally clueless about the obvious predatory humans in their midst? (My "current truth" is that the ones who could see pathology ran like hell from this organization. Most most of my friends and family who are in have at least one abusive parent. Apparently when a person is raised by an abuser they tend to not see it as an adult. Which, makes me think the stuff about this being a pedo's paradise and finding people with the "right heart condition" *shudders*)
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Lest the reader believe I've been deceived by Satan's worldly philosophy- the only reason I believed the stuff I read about personality disorders is because the bible dedicates a lot of space to defining evil. The similarity between the observations of bible writers and the psych-community are uncanny.
For example, I fell of my chair when I read Ps 58:3
"The wicked ones have been perverts from the womb;
They have wandered about from the belly onward;
They are speaking lies."
Because I had just read Dr. Robert Hare's controversial theory that some psychopaths seem to be born that way.
Now that I see it, I don't think my mind can ever go back.
Hope this was helpful. G'night all :)