Hi guys and gals.
I have not been a JW now for over 16 months and since then I have been ever so happy and free. I’ve also used the time to become a better, more knowledgeable and more fulfilled person. At that time I decided to study counselling skills and become a psychotherapist and it has taught me SO MUCH about the way I think and feel. As part of the course, all students must have 10 hours of personal therapy so I am. I’m thoroughly enjoying it but it’s so apparent to me that 99% of the stuff I’m bringing out that bothers me or has affected me in the past is thanks to the organisation. Not a very good witness to the counsellor for a start. She must be thinking that the organisation has serious issues (which we all know it does).
In the last session we spoke of shunning and how it feels. I enjoyed speaking about this as it’s something which I must say Im almost over, although when it happens it still hurts and the loss of old friends sometimes saddens me. I told her how I've coped with it over the past 16 months, namely through my amazing boyfriend, my family, my new friends who love me for me, my work, my college studies and many more things. These things are just a huge part of my life that they overshadow the so called 'friends' i used to know. Having said that, today I was once again shunned by a brother, even though I greeted him, asked him how he was, thanked him and said goodbye. He did not respond to any of those greetings! I felt like I was back on the school playground!
So how do I cope? I remind myself that I’m going to be the better person. I feel this behaviour is so childish and I see it as such. I also took note that the person isn’t to blame but it’s the organisation which has a lot to answer for. I’m also hopeful that one day these 'friends' may call me and want to see me again. I also tend to laugh about it all. I guess that’s my coping strategy. Overall though, I see the whole situation as beneath me - I have become a much stronger and more powerful person since now I’m free to use my head and develop myself. I respect their autonomy even though they dont, and for that I pity them.
This forum has been terrific for me and I have used it a place to rant and express my feelings. So how do you cope? Give me some ideas.
Love Tim xxx