Allow me to start this message by saying I have NO animosity against any individual Jehovah's Witnesses. I was one for years, and I loved it. Some of my family is still in, and I make no attempt to 'destroy their faith'. My only goal is to help them to truly analyze their understanding and beliefs, because that is what Jehovah would want them to do with the brain He gave them. Often, there are mental roadblocks that prevent them from doing so, the same ones that prevented me from doing so, and prevented many on this board from doing so, until sometimes too late, that may be preventing you from learning truth also. I don't have answers, just my experience on what will help you to make a fair assessment of your religion/worldview.
1) Get facts, be consistent with those facts - Simple, right? Not when one is limited in what they can read. Being a JW is not synonomous with facts, because your choices and understandings are pre-molded. You have to view facts in such a limited fashion. How? By only believing and accepting facts that gives credence to your beliefs.
Science: You believe the sun is 93,000,000 miles from the sun, and that if a pinhead-sized piece was placed in a location, no one would be able to stand within 90 miles, right? Yes you believe it because nothing about those facts challenges your belief system. Well, the same sciences date humans on earth approx. 200,000 years ago. Do you believe that? You can't believe it, because it goes against your beliefs. It goes against your understanding of the Bible, even. Dismissing facts, while only accepting a select comfortable few makes it all pointless. You may say, "But science does not have all the answers, and sometimes they are wrong." I wholeheartedly agree with that statement. So why even trust science? Well, consider the scientists and engineers that pioneered cell phone technology, which allows your very voice to be transfered tens of thousands of miles in milliseconds. We deal with wireless and cellular technology so often we don't even think about all that is involved to make it work, work accurately, and so common. Now suppose you dropped a call. Would you conclude the science/engineering involved is now unreliable and a complete failure? That those involved making it work have no idea what they're doing? No! You would just redial the number to talk again. Just a minor blip. Science is not perfect, but it is a reliable means. If you believe cell phones work, it would make sense to understand why science would conclude a global flood could not have happened, amongst many other Biblical stories that shape your understanding. Be consistent.
Religion: Being a JW, we are taught to research other religions in order to prove they are not being used by Jehovah. But we are taught to study WT publications with the purposeful intent of proving this is the only true religion. When we go into researching with such a bias, we cannot gather facts. Maybe we can, but we cannot process those facts fairly. How do you know the Bible is the word of God? How can you be sure the Hindu Vedas is not the word of God, which is centuries older than the completed Bible canon, and millenniums older than the New World Translation? What about other Holy Writ? What facts back up your beliefs? Saying, "Well, the Bible itself says it's the word of God" is not a fact. Any writing can, and do, admit that exact claim. Fact check into the exact history of the Bible, amongst other sacred texts, Jehovah's Witnesses, amongst other religions, Christianity, amongst other beliefs and philosophies. Evaluate everything you learn fairly and squarely. If you relied on only Catholic-approved material to study catholiscm, or mormon approved materials to study their religion, will you get a fair assessment? Why do the same with your religion? "Hey, I am a car salesman. Buy this car! It is expensive, but it's worth it. Don't read any bad reviews about me, too many people who don't want to see me do good. Only read what I have to save about my cars and business on the fliers I printed myself. Everything else is a half-truth, distortion, our outright lies!" With religion, your giving away your life, not just a few bucks. Why not use more caution? There was a man who was on the Governing Body who can give some factual insight that may be helpful.
You will not learn everything about science, religion, history, etc. And don't stress yourself trying to. Have a broad foundation, though, to understand the world around you. But use critical thinking to make a solid opinion on what you learn, and be consistent with facts. Whatever you apply or dismiss, follow that across the board. It will really help you to learn. Fact check. Cross check. Don't believe something because it is in print. When you make your conclusions, put your own beliefs under the same scrutiny. When your grant something you believe some leniency, do the same with all other options. NO "buts"! NO excuses. Just facts. Do not follow no one else's conclusions. Gather facts, make your own conclusions.
2) Don't assume - This was a particularly difficult one for me. I believed EVERYTHING the society wrote. Some things made me uneasy, but I believed and followed it nonetheless. The principles I was taught, to be honest, to have integrity, let go fear of men or losses, let go of pride, discharge my duties before Jehovah, to let love dominate me, I believed, even at personal sacrifice. I would have NEVER, EVER, believed the very ones teaching me these things would not be following it. I just knew those from whom this information originated from, where the pinnacle of every good thing taught, albeit imperfectly. Besides, I just knew in my heart they are not hypocrites! I was aware of imperfection amongst them, but they had the best of motives, and love was always at the forefront of all decisions. And that, combined with Holy Spirit, we have a win win! That is a basless assumption. And it will alter your perception of whatever facts you learn. At some points, you will have to cross 'T's and dot 'I's, but there should be some connecting links to do so accurately. Don't make assumptions from what you want to believe. That's dangerous.
3) Let go of pride and face the facts, be honest - The GB has always categorized anyone who disagree with them 'prideful apostates'. How much pride does it take to be a Jehovah's Witness though?
a) You have to convince people that they will die if they don't listen to you.
b) You have to convince yourself everyone who does not agree with you is automatically wrong.
c) You call your beliefs "the Truth", even when new light flashes and exposes any previous ideas as false. Additionally, any future new light will show your current ideas are false. But it's still the truth.
d) Your are convinced Satan controls or influences everything and everyone but you.
e) Scientific proof cannot even hold a candle to your teachings.
How much pride does it take to be an apostate?
a) You have your hard earned reputation and entire being summed up by the worst title possible.
b) Because you don't scripturally can't agree with GB on some issues, so you must be disfellowshipped.
c) Your entire life is scrapped because you've upheld your personal integrity, and obeyed God as ruler, rather than men.
d) You have to admit to yourself, you were wrong about so many things. Some people have given ALL they could to being a JW. But when the issues are faced, they have go against it.
e) Before you voice anything, you have a decision to make. And that choice is go to down the road less traveled, with all it's consquences. But you have done no wrong.
Does it take more pride to be a Jehovah's Witness or 'apostate'?
Once all pride and wishful assumptions are gone, you've gathered facts, assessed them, and are honest with those facts, it will open many different paths. But one thing I can assure you, you will no longer be one of Jehovah's Witnesses.