***PART 7 Things Happen, For a Reason***

by zev 6 Replies latest jw experiences

  • zev

    Part 7
    Things happen, for a reason.

    Yes things do happen for a reason. Though the reasons don’t seem clear at the time.
    This I found was the case over and over as I reflected upon my life and the things that had happened.

    For instance, why did I get that mysterious email on March 25th, 1998 from an anonymous person? The email said something to the effect of, I think I know you, tell me about your family, where you grew up, and things like that. Over the next few days, I exchanged e-mail with this person, as they were trying to make sure they found the correct Zev. My grandfather, father, and I all have the same name, and as unpopular as my name is I guess there were a few more out there this person found, as they searched for me. Lucky for them, they nailed the right one on the first try. By the third e-mail, I finally found out who the “masked” e-mail stranger was. And in fact she was no stranger. It was Gwen. It had been 18 years since our last contact. Needless to say, we had lots to catch up on. As gossip goes….she heard I lived in Newport Rhode Island, and had 3 kids. Well, just to set the record straight here, I had no children of my own, just the two step sons. And I lived in Massachusetts. But you know how gossip goes.

    As it turned out, she had only gotten her first computer only a few months before. It was pure luck she found me on the first try. I was already switching to another isp, and in a couple weeks, my old email would have been closed and maybe she never would have found me. Throughout all the years, we never met face to face. Things happen for a reason. Remember that as the rest of this story unfolds.
    First thing I told her, we will not discuss the Borg, god or religion. By this time in my life I had lots going on. And lots NOT going on. I was still a married man, and still remained faithful, and tried my best to work out the problems. Years passed, Gwen and I remained in contact via e-mail and kept writing each other. It was a very difficult thing to tell her about myself and the inner turmoil I struggled with about the Borg, and about my marriage, and how low and the complete lack of self-confidence I had in myself. It took about 2 years to start telling it and almost another 2 to tell her it all. She ended up being my listener, the one person I could talk to, without the fear of rejection, or reprisals. And I ended up being her listener, the one she could trust to open up to about so many things that she would tell no one else.

    By the end of 2000, I had begun to feel it was time to start to dig into my discontent, and questions regarding the Borg. She was always careful to not lead me into anything, unless I asked. Then and only then did she start sending me sites, and material, but only after I had begun sharing what I was finding, with her. She saw first hand the awakening of Zev. How proud she must have been to watch this happen without her leading me into anything, and my undertaking of all that I was finding. I know it pained her to see how depressed I got, and to see the pain it caused me to find out the “truth” about the “truth”.

    In reflection, and looking back over my life, I have to wonder how this came about. How was it that she was brought back into my life. What made that happen? Things happen for a reason. That’s the only explanation I have for it. I say it over and over again to her, and she understands where I am coming from. Some force, power, or thing, happened that brought us together after all those years. Sure, it was just email, we never met until much later in the story, and I’ll cover that near the end. I wouldn’t want to ruin your anticipation now would I? But just the same one has to wonder at these things, and wonder in amazement is all I can do. I will tell you this…it was 22 years between the last time we saw each other and the next time.

    I will say now, and you’ll be happy to know, that on Monday, March 25, 2002 Gwen and I will be celebrating a special occasion. Not many people have this blessing in their lives, and I’m very happy to have her in mine. March 25’th will be the 4 year anniversary of that very first email.

    Next part 8
    The Undiscovered Country

    Part 9
    The Voyage Home

    Learn about the Wtbts and the U.N.
    ** http://www.geocities.com/plowbitch69 **

  • Dutchie

    Zev, congratulations to both you and Gwen on your special anniversary. Yes, things do happen for a reason and I am glad that reason was for Gwen to bring so much happiness into you life. You are indeed a lucky man. I saw the picture of Gwen on your computer and she is a babe! Looking forward to the next installment.

  • Seeker4


    This idea that "things happen for a reason" has always disturbed me when it's presented as though there is an intrinsic "meaning" and purpose for everything that occurs, and we have to "find" what that is. This carries the inherent concept that there is someone "out there" planning every little event in everyone's life, that is, someone or something outside of ourselves is providing that "reason" that this particular thing is happening. That there is an intended lesson in each event in our lives that we must ferret out.

    For that reason I see "things happen for a reason" is just one of the most overused cliches around. It is illogical.

    This is what I see. Things happen to everyone, and we then need to find a meaning, a lesson or purpose in it happening. For example, two women each lose a one year old child. They both suffer terribly, but one pulls herself back into life and more than she ever had before recognizes the presciousness of life. She becomes more caring and loving and compassionate. The other woman sinks deeper into depression, neglects her marriage, loses her husband, becomes an alcoholic and kills herself. It's easy to look at the first person and coo "see, everything happens for a purpose." So why don't we feel the same way toward the second woman? It's a little bit harder so say "yes everything happens for a purpose, and this woman lost her child so that she could become a depressed drunk and kill herself."

    They both created a "meaning" or a "purpose" in what happened to them, but that "purpose" they found in no way was destined through the event. THEY created the purpose.

    We all receive letters out of the blue, unexpected phone calls and chance encounters. It's a part of the time and circumstance of life. When we see those things as "happening for a reason," as though there is a special destiny involved, I then wonder about the phone call we missed because we weren't home, or the person we DIDN'T unexpectedly bump into because we were two minutes early or late.

    Do you see? It's not that things happen for a purpose. It's that things happen, and we then give that happening a purpose.

    Sorry, just my morning rant. It's just that I've heard that phrase "things happen for a reason" a million times, and I always wonder if the person thinks about what they're saying. It's become such a mindless cliche.


  • Gopher


    I already know the happy ending ( I think!! he he). Thanks for sharing it so openly.

    I have to agree with Seeker, that you have to MAKE good things happen out of the circumstances that present themselves in life. Maybe that's what you meant in the first place.

    But if we don't take advantage of any circumstances, if we don't take the risk to make changes (even when the outcome is unknown), we are doomed to a shallow, narrow life.

    It's always encouraging (almost inspiring) to see examples of people like you who take necessary steps to break from the past and take control of their lives!!

    -J.R., member, UADNA-MN
    (Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America - Minnesota division)

    This post was not evaluated by any mental health professionals.
    Any opinions expressed are those of a fuzzy, cuddly rodent.

  • zev

    thanks dutchie

    and gopher,

    a happy ending....is coming, as you already know....

    previews for the next 2 parts:

    part 8 ...
    the undiscovered country....

    my year working my way out of the borg "cube"

    part 9 the voyage home...

    is exactly that...my life just before, and mostly AFTER dec 8th, 2001

    stay tuned. :-)

    Learn about the Wtbts and the U.N.
    ** http://www.geocities.com/plowbitch69 **

  • Yadira Angelini
    Yadira Angelini

    sev, I just found your thread... I didn't know you and Gwenn.... oh well, congratulations. Nice and open, Thanks for sharing

    Peace and Harmony


  • somebody

    "part 7" of your story really touched me and took me for a stroll down memory lane. it was a wonderful trip. I confess that I got the ole lump in my throat when I read it. The lump was for happiness, and for sadness too, remembering having to sit and do nothing while you went through your dark periods. I wanted to hug you and wished so bad that I could during those times. But I know we did the right thing in not meeting until we did. The happiness we have now is proof of that, in my opinion.


    somebody loves you,

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