How does one feel when they can't answer?

NeverKnew

I'm dating a JW. I have asked him several questions that would be categorized as "thinking" questions and I knew he'd have a tough time finding answers. Whenever I wouldn't get an answer to 3-5, I was moving on to the next 3-5. Over a year's time, just about all have gone unanswered... just dropped... non-existent at this point.

This is a lot to take in for an outsider. I have now digested the notion that I should have asked one question at a time and waited for that answer before moving on.

I'm curious. What conversations went on in your minds when asked to answer for WT doctrine that you weren't so sure about? You may have been sincere when telling the person you'd check on things, but did you? Did the requestor eventually become not worth saving?

Will Power

Thats a good question NeverKnew

wp

Chariklo

The answer is: don't date a JW.

If one does, one feels bad.

Fernando

Conflicted, I guess...

I have only a single recollection of a thinking question.

I was asked to explain what the gospel is in one word.

I pursued the gospel and ended up leaving religion after 3½ years.

Probably when most JWs get asked a thinking question they can't answer they rationalise it away as unimportant, or that they simply don't know the answer yet. The "authentic self" is suppressed by the "cult self" until a personal tipping point is reached. This often happens when personally disaffected - for example facing a spiteful, malicious and dishonest Judging Committee (an authoritarian star chamber hearing).

carla

You are in the same boat as all non jw's trying to figure out their jw. The jw cannot answer and will ALWAYS say they will get back to you but never do. Email sometimes puts them on the spot more because you have an ongoing record of their non answers and can insist they answer this question before moving onto another topic. Does this work? no, because they still can't answer the question they will say something to the effect, "let's agree to disagree or it will become more clear later on" which of course it never does because anything out of the wt is as clear as mud.

My guess as to the jw thought pattern during such an exercize in thinking is - hmm, she/he is making some sense here but it just can't be right! I will have to check on that....oh look, at that a bird..... what was I thinking about? oh yes, they claim the wt is wrong, damn apostate/and or worldly thinking! .....wow! a whole flock of birds.....aw, now I'm supposed to tell them it has been nice talking to them blah, blah, blah.....why can't anybody just accept the Truth as it is?! why do they make it so difficult for ME?!.... nice day though.... Dunkin Donuts or McDonalds?

I could be wrong but I know my jw's mind tends wander all over the place when trying to discuss anything jw. Others have said the same thing about my jw and those that knock on their doors. You could be trying to discuss Jesus and His Work upon the Cross and they will bring up the destruction of Jerusalem or something completely unrelated while you scratch your head thinking what the heck does this have to with what we are talking about? but it changes the subject for the jw who believes only what the wt has told them this week/month is true.

NeverKnew

AWWWW Carla... Thank you for making me laugh through my heart's tears. *huge grin*

Char... I feel badly for him. Personally? I'm good.

J'aime ouch.... Love the pictural depiction

Fernando... I've come from so many different angles that I think opening my mouth becomes a perceived attack. I think he goes into shutdown mode.

I've asked him to respect the existence of a position I've always known when attempting to "understand" his. I've also asked him to respect the truth of Proverbs 18:17 especially with respect to being sure of all things. I can feel him coming towards me when citing scripture - until it counters that which HE'S always been told to believe.

I thought he was going to lose it when I had him read 1 Timothy 4:3. When you read that verse, to make it make sense I knew he'd have to read the first 2 verses. I told him that passage alone would make me keep my mouth shut on the prohibition of ANY marriage. He got stuck at the first 2 verses....

When he told me that the Israelites were told not to marry the Canaanites, I told him I wasn't from Canaan and then asked him why he's not looking for a Jewish woman to marry if he's going to remain within the context of the Bible.

....another topic we probably won't be returning to. *sigh*

These two topics are 2 of I can't tell you how many. In trying to frame thinking questions, maybe I'm coming off as a smart alec.

MrFreeze

I usually just say "I don't know. It was a bunch of crap." Usually I'm drinking when these questions come up or I just don't feel like going into detail.

Edit: Are you a JW?

NeverKnew

No Mr, I'm not. Yes, I'm dealing with the classic "West Side Story" love story.... :) OH, and I feel like I have to say this... I won't be having kids by him. Factory is shut down so there won't be any casualties of a divorce. *grin*

I seem to be tripping upon JWs like crazy in the last year. Some are lifetime friends... ("You were raised as a JW!?!?!?), some I work with (who never identified themselves as such but now I recognize the signature NWT), and some have come to my door.

Is God giving me opportunities to wake them up? I dunno... maybe I'M the one just now waking up. LOL

I come here to try to understand THEM. This site has helped me tremendously and I'm very thankful for all of you.

MC RubberMallet

For me, anytime I was presented with something damning, I dismissed it. First I minimized any uncomfortable questions, then I changed my thinking to remind myself why this IS the truth. For a while I wasn't honest with myself.

Example: One person ask me why Deuteronomy 18:20-22 does not apply when JW's have spoken in Jehovah's name but been wrong. My thinking went to "What is this persons motive? Are they doing what Jesus requires of them, such as preaching the word of God? Can they truly help me gain everlasting life?" etc. Every JW has good thought stopping techniques. In a JW's mind, that gives the inquirer no credibility, so everything you say is moot, no matter how sensible.

How does one feel when they can't answer?

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