explaining JW suicide to an outsider

by wasasister 2 Replies latest jw friends

  • wasasister
    wasasister

    A good friend living in Oregon wrote to me about the McMinnville suicide/murder. I thought I'd share with you my response. It's so hard to explain the mind-set:

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    An interesting question to be sure. Certainly, all groups experience depression to one degree or another. Some communities seem to be disproportionately affected, but that could be due to the fact that the stigma attached to this affliction may discourage honest reports.


    To explain Jehovah's Witness mentality to an "outsider" is always difficult. Although many people have a concept of what a strict and closed community is like, unless you have actually lived inside a cult, it is hard to comprehend. I am not familiar with the details of the McMinnville family, but I can comment on the generalities.

    (At this point, it may be relevant to point out that this family was living in a trailer in McMinnville. If that isn't cause for psychotic depression, can we really blame the religion?)

    Active, that is to say devout practicing JW's, come in two varieties: born into it, or converts. Either way, once a person becomes a solid member, it is extremely difficult to be extracated. A new member is encouraged to give up outside relationships; and in fact, this often happens without any effort on the part of the neophyte. The strange and somewhat alienating beliefs eventually become a barrier to previous relationships. In time, the only close ties are from within the JW community. Of course, a person born into the religion never has a chance to form outside relationships in the first place. Even in school, the JW child is isolated from close association with unbelievers.

    This is where the psychological tool of "disfellowshipping" or shunning gains such power. Imagine being suddenly cut off from everyone you've been close to. You'd have no friends, and even your own family would treat you as if you were dead. Why do you think I was so careful not to fall into the elder's traps? If I were to admit to a disfellowshipping offense and be formally shunned, my own daughter would have to make a choice between me, and the religion she has known since birth. While I sincerely hope our relationship is stronger that any cult, the choosing would bring her great pain.

    Add to the foregoing the fact that for many years, Witnesses were sadly behind the times in dealing with mental illness. Consulting so-called worldly therapists was frowned upon, although not expressly forbidden. It was hinted that these people did not respect the laws of Jehovah and had, in many cases, recommended a course of action in direct violations of Scriptural principles.

    (Mrs. JW, I believe your depression is the direct result of your husband beating the shit out of you every Saturday night. I think you should leave him and get a restraining order.)

    Also, it was strongly suggested that with enough Bible study, prayer, and meeting attendance, almost any problem could be solved. Depressed? Go sell more Watchtowers. Broke? Pray harder for a janitorial job which would pay the bills while you sold Watchtowers. Bad marriage? Read the Bible together as a family. Hate your life? Go to more meetings. Blah, blah, blah....

    Only recently has such thinking begun to disappear in the leadership, but it will take a while for this enlightenment to trickle down through the ranks...especially in smaller towns and congregations where there is less new blood.

    The true psychological impact of shunning, or disfellowshipping, varies for each individual. For this sad (deleted), it may have snapped something deep inside that was close to breaking anyway...who knows? At this point, the media certainly seems to be interested in any contribution his religion may have had in the tragedy. While exploiting the horror does not set well with me, shining a light into the closely protected secrets of this particular cult might be a positive thing. Religions/cults have long depended on the silence of members and even former members to perpetrate their misdeeds.

    I'll be keeping an eye on this case...thank you for your interest

  • dungbeetle
    dungbeetle

    this is how I explain it--very simply:

    When your car is broken, you take it to an auto mechanic and not to a carpenter.

    When your washing machine is broken, you call in an appliance repairperson and not the Catholic priest.

    When confronted with someone who is exhibiting symptoms of depressions, bi-polar disorder or other mental illness, Watchtower elders call in the literature, meetings and filed service instead of a physician and mental health professional.

    And we all know why.

    so you see, everyone can imagine how expulsion'shunning can affect a HEALTHY individual---imagine the effect on someone suffering from undiagnosed and untreated clinical depression or worse...and that's how the Bryants adn the Longos and the Freemans and the Stovalls happen.

    (((((((((wasa)))))))))

    UADNA-US (Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America-United States)

  • alamb
    alamb

    I explained it to my husband (before we saw the Matrix):

    Imagine you found out your family had adopted you and they had all suddenly vanished leaving no forwarding address. They have chosen to believe a lie about you and you have no way to exhonerate yourself. You were actually created in a lab.

    Your job has been eliminated at your company and the training and experience you have is not needed anywhere, permanently.

    Your friends and children have been told you are mentally ill and to under no circumstances believe anything you say to be true...but to either ignore or patronize you. They believe this will help you.

    In my experience, I felt as if I had been given a life sentence with the choice of pleading guilty to a crime I didn't commit as being my only recourse to freedom. Sell your soul or die.

    The Matrix was a perfect example of being DF'd or DA'ing yourself.

    Suicide becomes an option when there are no others.

    If you have nothing to lose, you will live or die like you have nothing to lose.

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