Thoughts: Convinced that my wife will never awake from the brainwashing (page 2)

DesirousOfChange

SEARCHER: just ask gentle, probing questions in order to get her to reason on things for herself.

Yes. Ask her to help you understand the bothersome things for which there is no answer. Come up with question asked by someone (mythological) at work. Ask her, How would YOU explain it? She has to begin to question things on her own before she can realize the answers she has been given are lies.

Doc

cappytan

Asking questions doesn't always work. Even though my wife woke up, asking questions made her upset. She said I was being condescending by asking questions. She said it felt like I was trying to teach her.

So, fair warning...that doesn't always work.

What ended up working for me was backing off. Instead of sharing the PBS Newshour special on Conti and saying, "LOOK AT HOW HORRIBLE THE ORGANIZATION IS!" I shared the special with her with no comment other than, "Story about JW's on PBS. Check it out." She watched it and got pissed off at the organization and was finally open to a real discussion.

OneEyedJoe

Don't give up hope completely. It may just be a matter of finding the one thing that she's clinging to. Everyone has their points of doctrine or culture or whatever that are important to them personally and the rest is just like a bullfighter's cape - it only serves as a false target for you and doesn't impact their faith even a little.

Or it may just be a matter of piling on the straws until the camel's back breaks. Either way, there's always an ounce of hope. As long as your marriage is working, keep trying to live a genuine life for yourself and hopefully (probably) she'll eventually be caught in your wake.

Asking questions doesn't always work. Even though my wife woke up, asking questions made her upset. She said I was being condescending by asking questions. She said it felt like I was trying to teach her.

We might be married to the same woman.

Sofia Lose

Man, you got it good!

Try living with a hardcore JW husband that is heavy into all things 'Borg'!

I feel as if I won't be able to take the pressure one more day many a times. You for sure do not understand how very sweet a deal you've got!!!

SL

goingthruthemotions

Thanks everyone for your advice, i love this forum!!!

i know many are in my same position which is comforting, but, i wish we were all in the situation where we woud all make a clean break from the BORG.

Lots of love to all and my good fortune befall everyone!!!!

TheListener

I eventually just completely faded. It was the only way I could keep my sanity and hopefully save my kids from believing the wts crapspeak. It was really painful for awhile but I just figured I would need to show my wife other ways that I loved and supported her. I never discourage her meeting attendance and stuff but I have been pretty successful in saving the kids. I am a lot happier now that I am not expected to participate.

Closer to Fine

I am trying to stay hopeful but at the same time am very worried that our marriage will end in divorce over this. We are each going in such different directions now. I admire those of you on here that are able to make it work when one is in and the other is out.

FayeDunaway

Hang in there, closer to fine. Try to find common ground, things you enjoy doing together. Also, Agreeing to disagree about certain things can keep peace in your house.

LHS123

I agree that women are upset more by the emotional damage than the doctrinal issues. I'm still in but the disturbing things for me are shunning (especially young ones), child abuse, and the blood issue - I was absolutely horrified by the May 1994 awake which paraded pictures of children who had died for the blood issue - how can any organisation glorify such loss of young life? - another comment which really 'hit' me was a comment by a respected national newspaper about our allowance of blood fractions, along the lines of 'don't jws realise that blood fractions requires a great deal of donated blood being stored and processed - if that's ok why isn't a transfusion?' Looking at the way Jesus valued life, healing on the sabbath ('breaking' gods' law) then I don't think we really know what he would say standing by a hospital bed with a young child with leukemia in it, dying because of refusing a modern treatment nothing to do with ancient dietary laws. If we 'sin' by saving a childs life by new medical advancements then I am sure God would forgive us readily based on the sacrifice of JC just as he forgave the Israelites that 'rushed at the spoil' because they were weak and hungry in 1 Sam 14.

FayeDunaway

Good point, LHS. Jesus cured many on the sabbath, even tho the Pharisees said 'but it's against the RULES!!!' what was more important than the rules? Healing people. Wake up, witnesses!!!

Thoughts: Convinced that my wife will never awake from the brainwashing

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