Thoughts: Convinced that my wife will never awake from the brainwashing

by goingthruthemotions 21 Replies latest jw experiences

  • goingthruthemotions

    hello all, it's been a long time since i have posted. well, things have not changed on my end. i am still going thru the motions. my wife is fully aware of how i feel about the BORG. i still go to the meeting to support her and i show her how much i love her each and everyday. i tell her all the time that she is my world.

    our Boys have no interest in the meetings...we don't answer, we don't associate with any witnesses. associate with regular folk, teach our boys to love all and not judge color, religion, sexual orientation and anything else of people.

    higher education is a must, and learning marial arts is a must.....i also do martial arts.

    anyways, i have been reading the purple bible from the borg with my wife....the best one available that has not been massacred by the cult. But, it's amazing how she just doesn't see it for what it is. and how much worship and glory the apostles gave jesus. it's almost has if her mind just clicks off.

    My question is Why? why can't the scales fall off, just has easily as they did for me or for other people.

    like i said, we go out on service very rarely, don't associate....but yet....she just can't wake. i respect her for what she believes and i don't push it. i am just showing the facts. i am just so amazed at the hold the cult has over her....she is such an apologist.


  • Blackfalcon98
    Same here, total same here. Just be persistent and count the good in being able to leave a mentally authentic existence, especially with the kids.
  • stuckinarut2


    its a struggle guys...

    I am with you....

  • Crazyguy
    maybe its time to up your game a little, stop going to meeting and bring up more about all the money they want all the glory and power the GB demand and the pedophile cases. You expect something to click with her but with out a match to start the fuse nothing will.
  • nugget

    Women are more invested emotionally so logic can sometimes be less important.

    My husband learnt the TTATT before I did he was motivated to leave by the UN scandal and doctrines that he saw were illogical. I started to question the organisation when I saw the damage it was doing to my children, the way the literature prepared them to accept without question everything from the society. When I discovered the organisation had also lied about certain issues I was done and we left together.

    It can take more for someone to leave if they have family and friends they may have to leave behind. At the moment she loses nothing by maintaining the status quo and she doesn't have to deal with the inconvenience of field service. She has the best of both worlds. You take her to meetings and provide company if she had to go on her own and make her own arrangements then she may feel differently. I would start missing more meetings and see if she goes on her own or whether she chooses to remain at home.

    If you want her to wake up you need to tune into what matters to her and then if the society conflicts with her values then she has to justify it. Don't give her the information get her to think for herself and don't take platitudes and stock phrases as a valid justification. It is a long process for some. and it can be tricky since pushing too much may result in her having renewed zeal and clinging to the cult but doing nothing means that she will settle into a routine she finds comfortable with and see no need to change.

  • kairos

    I can't be sure what my wife is doing.
    I love her, though!

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    In cases such as yours, I'd just ask gentle, probing questions in order to get her to reason on things for herself.

    Never make statements or quote facts about the Org, because you'll only confirm her fears - that you're attacking the Org, just as they've warned how apostates would act!

  • KateWild


    Sorry to hear how you're feeling. Sometimes spouses do not wake up. But sometimes they do. I think it's a good suggestion by a few for you to stop going to meetings and take your boys to the park or swimming instead.

    But if she still goes you may have to accept that she won't wake up. Many couples live like this.

    OnTheWayOut is a poster that left but his wife stayed in....they are still married and they just deal with their circumstances.

    Kate xx

  • freemindfade
    Same situation here.
  • ABibleStudent

    Hi goingthruthemotions, What does your wife like to do that is non-JW, is time consuming, and she would meet more non-JWs with similar interests? Do more of those types of activities and slowly stop going to meetings because of schedule conflicts.

    At some point you may feel the need to stop going to meetings for your own sanity. Have you learned to ask your wife questions about how she would feel if she was doing something that she disliked? What simple questions do you ask your wife and how do you help her to do her own research and critically think for herself? Or, do you present facts to your wife without letting her do her own research?

    What types of thought-stopping platitudes does your wife use and how would you overcome them so that she stops using them?

    Give your wife time. If she is a social JW or has lots of JW family, she may be a JW to prevent being shunned. You could always ask your wife, "If the Watchtower told JWs to start associating with everyone and stop shunning anyone, would she be a JW? And, why?"

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


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