Great quote today:"Meanwhile, the Witnesses are reported as saying that they are eternally grateful for the support from a group of people going straight to Hell just as soon as the Lord comes back. So I may have heard."
Whole article below
"KIRBY: Court Should Keep Mission Work Interesting
Saturday, March 9, 2002
BY ROBERT KIRBY
If Stratton, Ohio, has its way, missionaries will soon have to get a permit before they can knock on doors in that town.
The Jehovah's Witnesses have sued to block the Stratton city ordinance, which would essentially make it inconvenient if not impossible for missionaries to spread the word door to door.
Right now, the U.S. Supreme Court is trying to muddle it out. If the justices decide in favor of the city, it could spell the end of missionary work as many Utahns know it.
Maybe that's why the LDS Church filed a brief in support of the Witnesses, claiming that as misguided about the Bible as they are, the Witnesses are truly inspired about this doorbell thing.
Meanwhile, the Witnesses are reported as saying that they are eternally grateful for the support from a group of people going straight to Hell just as soon as the Lord comes back. So I may have heard. Frankly, it's just nice to see the faiths playing well together for a change.
Anyway, the Supreme Court is trying to decide this porch hopping issue -- something an LDS Church spokesman referred to as "door-to-door evangelism."
When I did it years ago, we called it "tracting," "first contacting," "knocking doors," and/or "molestaring people," molestar being the Spanish verb for "to bother."
Knocking doors was one of my least favorite parts of missionary work. I hate being bothered at home myself and didn't enjoy doing it to other people. But I did it. (Please do not send me letters about how you or a loved one would never have joined the church if the missionaries hadn't been inspired to hammer on your door at an inconvenient time.)
Give God a little more credit. If he really wanted you, he would have got you in another even less convenient way. Or did you forget about Jonah already?
Also, I didn't say knocking on doors was wrong, only that I didn't like doing it. Even so, I would be sad to see it stop. Porch hopping is a great learning experience for young missionaries.
When I did it, there weren't any city ordinances in our way. We pounded doors even in the rain. We still pounded doors when we got pneumonia, especially if my companion wanted to be a zone leader.
I don't remember ever seeing a "no soliciting" sign. Whether or not to knock was determined almost entirely by other more pointed things. Mainly fangs. Apparently, when the Lord didn't want us to convert someone, he would inspire them to keep a mean dog. I have never seen such a story in the Ensign, but it's certainly possible.
Having doors slammed in your face is a good way to toughen the ego, as well as to learn never to carelessly place your hand inside the door jam when you are bothering people.
Once, a woman slammed my tie in the door. She wouldn't open up again, so I had to wiggle out of it and leave it hanging there. I wonder what her husband thought when he came home.
My companions and I encountered guns, drunks, nudes, voodoo, communists and spit. We had water poured on us, dogs sicced on us, and girls come on to us. Occasionally, we also found someone who wanted to talk to us bad enough to make it all worthwhile, except maybe for the time my companion killed somebody's chicken.
I hope the Supreme Court is inspired. My mission would have been a lot more boring without knocking on doors.