Thought you all would get a kick out of this...

by garyneal 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • garyneal

    Recipe for an IFB cult leader:

    1 multi-dose vial of love bombing
    2 cups of Megalomania
    ½ cup of bigotry
    ... 1 splash of polishing your shaft
    2 years of preacher boys class, preferably self taught by your “pastor” but will accept a degree from any unaccredited bible institute
    2 tablespoons of paranoia
    1 large barrel filled with both Rick Warren and Jon Bon Jovi CD’s
    3 die hard followers (preferably related by blood)
    1 large potluck belly (we don’t believe in beer!)
    12 stoic children (necessary to complete the quiver, and form the Lord’s army)
    3 cups of KJV or a personal translation will do

    In a bowl, mix megalomania with KJV. Slowly pour in the love bombing. Slide the bigotry and paranoia in at the bottom of the mixture. Add the stoic children. You can add sausage, preferably one that looks bigger than it actually is. In a second bowl, mix together the polished shaft, preacher boy class, die hard followers, and potluck belly. Pour the mixture from the second bowl over the first. Bake at 350 degrees to hell. Light the barrel of Cds on fire, and shout “hallelujah”.

    (If the mixture comes out soggy, remove the children and beat them)

  • garyneal

    Oh, and just for the record, I did not write this. Got it from the IFB Cult Survivors wall on facebook.

    Amazing the similarities, isn't it?

  • jamiebowers

    Sad, but very much like the Watch Tower.

  • ziddina


    Sad, but oddly funny at the same time!!

  • blondie

    gary, is their a website that explains the history of this group? Lots of similarities, cultlike.

  • garyneal
    gary, is their a website that explains the history of this group? Lots of similarities, cultlike.

    I haven't found one that was anywhere on par with free minds and jwfacts. Plus I have not been looking too much for it since, for me at least, it has been between fifteen and twenty years since I set foot in an IFB church (and therefore I have long since gotten past the experiences).

    I just remember that when I first started attending the meetings with my wife regularly and studying with the witnesses I felt many of the same sinking feelings I use to feel at those IFB churches. Seeing the 20-20 documentary on the IFB's hammered home the reasons why.

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