Just wondering if anyone has a similar experience like me, i had to shun certain family members because of their being disfellowshipped and we all know how hard it was, even though we thought we had gods blessing, when i myself was disfellowshipped for confessing my wrongdoing to the elders i felt like i was all alone with no-one to turn to, and interestingly the very family members i had shunned were the first to offer me help, i didnt approach them when i was d/f coz i felt guilty after shunning them but they got in contact with me and helped me through a really dificult emotional time, and the intersting thing here is that gods people are supposed to be forgiving as he is and yet they wouldnt forgive me but my family who were "no longer believers" did, anyone else have a similar story?
Shunning Family Members
by chezza 3 Replies latest jw friends
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Kep
Hey Chezza,
There were times when my mother was Df that I would shun her.
I would see her in the street and so as not to make a scene, or feel uncomfortable, I would cross the road rahter than walk straight passed her.
And yet after a while, when she was showing her repentant attitude by going to meetings, I would then call in and see her. Make sure she was doing ok.
It's a tough one, as you don't really know what balance to have and so to be safe you take the hardline approach.
Now that the shoe is on the other foot, my mother is more lenient in her dealings with me.
Although it has been a battle at times, but now she respects my views and I respect hers.
As for my siblings, they know that I am here for them no matter what. The love and care I show them is non-conditional.
They are either out or inactive and so the shunning policy isn't really an issue for them. -
Beck_Melbourne
Hi again Chezz
Yup...seems like only the other day I was talking about this with a friend :o)
The part that gets me is how 'righteous' we thought we were to shun our relatives. I hate the fact that we were taught to do this as an expression of our faith....and the better we were at shunning...the more faithful we were. What a crock of sh*t.
Its not until you are on the outside that you realise how conditioned you were as a witness. Also, there are more and more 2nd, 3rd and some 4th generation witnesses out there...which means most in the truth are related. Its not unusual to walk into a kingdom hall and several families are related...and if not by blood then by marriage. Some congregations are made up of entire family units...so much to lose when you are DF or DA.
Beck
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chezza
thanks kep, i believe i know some of your family :)