What was the weirdest thing ever said to you as a JW?

by falseprophet 67 Replies latest jw friends

  • Chariklo
    Chariklo

    This business of being considered weak. I quickly learned....me, pretty well an independent thinker from the moment of birth!!!...that if you think for yourself you are considered spiritually weak!!!!!!

    Even in my unbaptised state there was a spell of a few weeks after I'd been terrorised by a perfectly manic sister who was considered to be in "high standing".....her house hosts field circus sessions, say no more.....and I'd come on here for the first time and was having serious doubts...that I was spiritually weak, because I uttered words of common sense!

    Mind you, common sense was obviously lacking because I got sucked back in.

    Here's one I heard in field service: the angels from the Bible were actually robots made by aliens. The householder thought the angels had feelings, but the demons were older, inferior models made without emotions. This guy thought the Bible was some sort of alien alegory.

    I can cap that. Not only did the householder tell us that he believed the Bible was all about aliens and that Ezekiel's vision was of space ships, which I'd heard before in pre-JW days, but that the spaceships and aliens had actually landed in his street, and the aliens had visited him. As if that wasn't enough, only a few doors down the same street the householder also had had space ships and aliens recently landing outside his house.

    All of which got somehow missed by the local newspaper! But it's a true story. You heard it here first.

  • ambersun
    ambersun

    Ooh where to start, I have so many!

    I think one of the best examples is the time when I went to visit my Mom and one of her friends came round who immediately launched into a full scale verbal attack, yelling and screaming at me for leaving "The Truth" and did I realise what I had done to my poor mother.

    I calmly told her the last thing I wanted to do was hurt my Mom which is why I had stayed in "The Truth" as long as I had done, but as I didn't believe it was "The Truth" I couldn't keep up the pretence any longer.

    Her reply was that it didn't matter what I believed, I should belong to the religion my mother had chosen for me . She then went on to emphasize her point by saying how heartbroken her own mother had been when she left the catholic faith.

    Hmmmm, so following along that line of reasoning, shouldn't she revert back to catholicism? She stuttered for a few seconds before agreeing with me and saying "Yes"

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    Hmmmm, so following along that line of reasoning, shouldn't she revert back to catholicism? She stuttered for a few seconds before agreeing with me and saying "Yes"

    thats just priceless!!!!

    talk about having to follow her own line of reasoning to the end...i guess she knew she snookered herself with that one.

    Oz

  • Fernando
    Fernando

    Elderette answering up at meeting: "It is better to be wrong with the society, than right on your own". (Idioitic)

    CO talk: "If it is not in harmony with divine teaching, it is teachings of demons". (Correct)

    Therefore elderette plus CO: "It is better to eat at the table of demons with the society, than at Jehovah's table on your own". (Idiotic)

  • Honeybadger
    Honeybadger

    So many weird things, but this is the one that comes to mind now:

    My mom told me that a friend of hers brought her bible study to the Sunday meeting, and during the public talk she (the study) claimed she could see demons going up and down the aisles , and one came up to her and told her to leave or something... so she left.

    After hearing this, I told my mom, "Mom, Jehovah wouldn't allow demons in the kingdom hall! It's his temple! There isn't any way this is true, is it?" and she told me "Well, I don't know... you could ask the CO next time he comes to visit." (This is her go-to line when I question something blatantly false that she believes... )

    I've got more too, I just can't remember them right now. It's Thursday, though, so after this evening I might have even more...

  • jemba
    jemba

    Welcome Citizen, Honey and Star, both hilarious stories.

    So true Fernando.

  • AnnOMaly
    AnnOMaly

    There are a few, but here's one from a JW who takes great pride in the org's position on neutrality:

    "The odds were against the Allies [in such-a-WW2-battle (can't remember which one)] but amazingly they won. You see, Jehovah couldn't allow Hitler to win."

    "So God does take sides in wars and the Allies were right to fight after all."

    *Hesitates, momentary look of confusion, then continues giving me the set JW 'history' lesson while I suppress a smirk*

  • Found Sheep
    Found Sheep

    When I was living with my brother for the month of HELL!!! He told me it would be better for me to stay with my ex even if he was abusive and we didn't love eachother, then to be with someone that wasn't in the truth.

    I didn't agree

  • zoiks
    zoiks

    A householder once let me get all the way through my presentation, then his eyes got really wide and he said, "I have a shield, and the shield says...NO."

    He then slooooowly closed the door, staring at me wide-eyed the whole time.

  • THE GLADIATOR
    THE GLADIATOR

    I always asked too many questions and continued to ask the Elders questions about certain anomalies. They advised me that I was developing a ‘spirit of independence.’ I expected everything to add up and make sense, after all this was ‘the truth’ – wasn’t it?

    One senior brother of fifty years standing explained that the most important thing in the organization and in each congregation was unity. It did not matter whether what we believed was accurate, so long as we all believed the same.

    This was only one of the many weird things said to me. If they were all recorded, the whole world could not contain them.

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