How a spouse could get an obstinate unbeliever to leave the marriage? I read someone talking about it on another board and I dont have a CD-ROM to look it up. It was supposed to have come been in an older publication and listed many tactics for how to get them to leave the marriage. Thanks for any help finding this.
Have you ever seen an article talking about...
by Diest 6 Replies latest jw friends
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GeneM
I would be very interested in reading that too... bookmarked.
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Aussie Oz
while done in real life, i don't think the WT would have printed 'tactics' to do it...
and if they had, they certainly wouldn't be on the CD ROM lib me thinks.
oz
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blondie
jws are encouraged to stay with the non-jw spouse to win them over by the Christian conduct. Paul said if the non-jw chooses to leave...sobeit. But the WTS has 3 categories that jws could choose to leave.
While they say it is only separation, jws can divorce the spouse and not be df'd as long as the jw does not remarry.
*** w00 11/1 p. 5 Is Bible Morality the Best? ***
Still, couples who observe the Bible’s moral standards try to forgive and to work out their difficulties together. Of course, there are circumstances—such as adultery or physical abuse—when a Christian may appropriately consider separation or divorce. (Matthew 5:32; 19:9)
*** w88 11/1 pp. 22-23 When Marital Peace Is Threatened ***Grounds for Separation
9 Paul’s words at 1 Corinthians 7:10-16 encourage marriage mates to stay together. Yet, some, after trying very hard to preserve their marriage relationship, have finally decided that, in all conscience, they have no choice but to separate. What may be the grounds for such a step?
10 Willful nonsupport is one basis for separation. When entering wedlock, a husband assumes the responsibility of providing for his wife and any children they may have. The man who does not provide for members of his household “has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith.” (1 Timothy 5:8) So separation is possible if there is willful nonsupport. Of course, appointed elders should give careful consideration to an accusation that a Christian is refusing to support his wife and family. Stubborn refusal to support one’s family may result in disfellowshipping.
11 Extreme physical abuse is another basis for separation. Suppose an unbelieving mate often gets drunk, becomes enraged, and causes the believer physical harm. (Proverbs 23:29-35) Through prayer and by displaying the fruitage of Jehovah’s spirit, the believer may be able to prevent such outbursts and make the situation endurable. But if the point is reached where the health and life of the abused mate actually are in jeopardy, separation would be allowable Scripturally. Again, congregation elders should look into charges of physical abuse when two Christians are involved in the troubled marriage, and disfellowshipping action may have to be taken.—Compare Galatians 5:19-21; Titus 1:7.
12 Absolute endangerment of spirituality also provides a basis for separation. The believer in a religiously divided home should do everything possible to take advantage of God’s spiritual provisions. But separation is allowable if an unbelieving mate’s opposition (perhaps including physical restraint) makes it genuinely impossible to pursue true worship and actually imperils the believer’s spirituality. Yet, what if a very unhealthy spiritual state exists where both mates are believers? The elders should render assistance, but especially should the baptized husband work diligently to remedy the situation. Of course, if a baptized marriage partner acts like an apostate and tries to prevent his mate from serving Jehovah, the elders should handle matters according to the Scriptures. If disfellowshipping takes place in a case involving absolute endangerment of spirituality, willful nonsupport, or extreme physical abuse, the faithful Christian who seeks a legal separation would not be going against Paul’s counsel about taking a believer to court.—1 Corinthians 6:1-8.
13 If circumstances are extreme, then, separation may be warranted. But flimsy pretexts obviously should not be used to obtain a separation. Any Christians who do separate must bear personal responsibility for that action and should realize that all of us will render an account to Jehovah.—Hebrews 4:13.
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This was repeated in a recent book God's Love (2008)
*** lv pp. 219-221 The Bible’s View on Divorce and Separation ***
Jehovah expects those who are married to remain faithful to the marriage vow. When uniting the first man and woman in marriage, Jehovah stated: “A man . . . must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh.” Later, Jesus Christ repeated that statement and added: “Therefore, what God has yoked together let no man put apart.” (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:3-6) Hence, Jehovah and Jesus view marriage as a lifelong bond that ends only when one partner dies. (1 Corinthians 7:39) Since marriage is a sacred arrangement, divorce is not to be taken lightly. In fact, Jehovah hates divorces that have no Scriptural basis.—Malachi 2:15, 16.
What forms a Scriptural basis for divorce? Well, Jehovah hates adultery and fornication. (Genesis 39:9; 2 Samuel 11:26, 27; Psalm 51:4) Indeed, he finds fornication so despicable that he allows it as grounds for divorce. (For a discussion of what fornication involves, refer to Chapter 9, paragraph 7, where fornication is explained.) Jehovah grants the innocent mate the right to decide whether to remain with the guilty partner or to seek a divorce. (Matthew 19:9) Hence, if an innocent mate decides to seek a divorce, that one does not take a step that Jehovah hates. At the same time, however, the Christian congregation does not encourage anyone to seek a divorce. In fact, some circumstances may move the innocent mate to remain with the guilty one, especially if that one is genuinely repentant. In the end, though, those who have a Scriptural basis for divorce must make their own decision and accept whatever consequences it may bring.—Galatians 6:5.
In certain extreme situations, some Christians have decided to separate from or divorce a marriage mate even though that one has not committed fornication. In such a case, the Bible stipulates that the departing one “remain unmarried or else make up again.” (1 Corinthians 7:11) Such a Christian is not free to pursue a third party with a view to remarriage. (Matthew 5:32) Consider here a few exceptional situations that some have viewed as a basis for separation.
Willful nonsupport. A family may become destitute, lacking the basic essentials of life, because the husband fails to provide for them, although being able to do so. The Bible states: “If anyone does not provide for . . . members of his household, he has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith.” (1 Timothy 5:8) If such a man refuses to change his ways, the wife would have to decide whether she needs to protect her welfare and that of her children by obtaining a legal separation. Of course, Christian elders should give careful consideration to an accusation that a Christian refuses to support his family. Refusal to care for one’s family may result in disfellowshipping.
Extreme physical abuse. An abusive spouse may act so violently that the abused mate’s health and even life are in danger. If the abusive spouse is a Christian, congregation elders should investigate the charges. Fits of anger and a practice of violent behavior are grounds for disfellowshipping.—Galatians 5:19-21.
Absolute endangerment of spiritual life. A spouse may constantly try to make it impossible for the mate to pursue true worship or may even try to force that mate to break God’s commands in some way. In such a case, the threatened mate would have to decide whether the only way to “obey God as ruler rather than men” is to obtain a legal separation.—Acts 5:29.
In all cases involving such extreme situations as those just discussed, no one should put pressure on the innocent mate either to separate or to stay with the other. While spiritually mature friends and elders may offer support and Bible-based counsel, they cannot know all the details of what goes on between a husband and a wife. Only Jehovah can see that. Of course, a Christian wife would not be honoring God or the marriage arrangement if she exaggerated the seriousness of her domestic problems just to live separately from her husband, or vice versa. Jehovah is aware of any scheming behind a separation, no matter how one may try to hide it. Indeed, “all things are naked and openly exposed to the eyes of him with whom we have an accounting.” (Hebrews 4:13) But if an extremely dangerous situation persists, no one should criticize a Christian who, as a last resort, chooses to separate. In the final analysis, “we shall all stand before the judgment seat of God.”—Romans 14:10-12.
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apostatethunder
I doubt they would write it down, but they seem to be specialist on ending a marriage and blaming the other part. I know of too many cases, specially of elders and men with responsibilities that were not treating their wives very well and then, when the wives leave them or the organization, they appear to be the innocent ones and marry another sister. Clever.
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blondie
The bottom line is even if either spouse leaves and/or divorces, the jw spouse has to tap dance around the issue if adultery has been committed by the non-jw party and they can prove it to the BOE's satisfaction which varies from congregation to congregation. I might add that I grew up in a "divided" family, father not a jaw and jw mother. She was never counseled by the elders to try and get my father to leave by making his life hell, instead she was told to stay with him despite his abuse. When she did leave, she had to get special dispensation from the elders to maintain any "good standing" in congregation. I have known way more jw women who stayed in bad situations and were told to stay not force out the husband. I do know though that other jw women are good at giving this advice. They have to gossip a bout something in the exclusively female car groups.
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Diest
Thanks for looking. The person claimed it was in the 1960s, but I was doubtful that they were right.