The Beast-Tower Presents: Sparlockian Rhapsody

by sd-7 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • sd-7

    In presenting this musical drama, we recognize it is mere satire, and borrows heavily from Queen, a worldly rock band of the distant past. However, The Beast-Tower does not condone or recommend any particular music.

    Many spiritually famished apostates, showing a lack of appreciation for Jehovah's animated provisions for children, have spoken against a toy used for educational purposes in a recent video. This independent, twisted reasoning has, sadly, infiltrated Jehovah's organization. The writers of The Beast-Tower do not take sides in this debate; we present the following only to demonstrate why we consider apostates as the "mentally diseased", presumptuous, deceptive, ravenous wolves devoid of love for God and their neighbor. We have no doubt you will agree, after considering this poorly crafted song, submitted by one of the rank-and-file members of their satanic, loose alliance that is a false imitation of an organization:

    Is this toy magic?

    Does it please Jehovah?

    Or does it please Satan?

    Your life is over!

    Throw out that toy,

    And make sure you wipe your feet.

    I’m just a Witness

    To my childhood tragedy.

    As I come, as I go

    Scriptures after every chore

    Daddy slipped on marbles

    And then it killed my teddy


    Just killed a toy

    Threw him in a blue trash bin

    'Cause magic is from Satan

    Oh, mama

    It was all in fun

    Till you took the time to squint your eyes at me

    Oh, mama!

    Didn't mean to make God sad!

    I'd never want to cause Jehovah sorrow!

    I've got nothing left to hide!

    I wish that I’d never met Sparlock at all!

    Next school day

    I'll see my chum

    And he'll ask about Sparlock

    And I'll say I just forgot

    It's a theocratic strategy

    I'll pray that he won't get too mad at me

    Oh, mama,

    I slapped away a snake

    Why doesn't that earn me some kind of break?

    Did that toy airplane outside

    Fall straight out of the sky or was it me?

    As I come, as I go

    Scriptures after all my chores

    Family Worship, can you read the Bible?

    Didn’t think the marbles

    Would blow up a whole TV

    My parents do not like me!

    They berate me nightly!

    I’m just a Witness

    To my childhood tragedy

    Spare him his toy

    It is purple and neat!

    I'm just a Witness

    To everything I can't be

    He's just a Witness

    To what he cannot be

    He's a wizard!

    He's a wizard!

    He's a wizard warrior!

    As I come, as I go

    Evil toy at home--

    That Sparlock toy is magical!

    Let it go! That Sparlock toy is magical!

    Let it go! That Sparlock toy is magical!

    Let it go!

    Toy is magical!

    Let it go!

    Toy is magical!

    Oh, marble-me-ah, marble-me-ah

    Clean your toys up off the floor!

    Beelzebub—he has wrapped around a toy

    For me, for me, for me!

    Daddy, watch where you step

    Or else marbles will fly!

    I'll clean everything up or my teddy will die!

    Just fry it up

    Just fry it up

    Just fry it right next to me!

    Daddy slipped on marbles

    And then it killed my teddy

  • Chariklo


  • jamiebowers

    You're so talented!

  • snowbird
  • MrFreeze

    As a diehard Queen fan, I approve.

  • snowbird

    It's not Breast-Tower any longer?

  • factfinder


    Very creative sd-7!

  • sd-7
    It's not Breast-Tower any longer?

    We owe the change in title to ziddina, I believe it was, who suggested an adjustment to our current magazine title. This suggestion was carefully and prayerfully considered by the Writing Committee and thus, by the Lord's decree, The Breast-Tower, which helped adults cope with personal challenges, was updated to The Beast-Tower, thus broadening our subject matter. Did the Lord pronounce his blessing upon the change? One Beast-Tower reader wrote: "I have read your articles with interest, and I continue to do so. I look up the scriptures often and find that they deepen my understanding of the Bible as it applies in my daily life." Truly, the Lord has blessed this work!


  • sd-7

    Also, I realize that I could probably rewrite this song--it was kind of a rough draft. I was just getting introduced to Queen--shows my age--so I hadn't memorized the lyrics enough to work it out...


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