My first time starting a thread, been lurking here reading for a while, just haven't said much. I Might tell my story soon, but once ya get me talking I don't shut up. That being said,
I got this email from a friend in Texas today, we had a conversation yesterday about JW's, religion and bible schtuff. She's recently learned that a "friend" of hers in Ill. is one of JW's. Earlier this week they had a conversation covering various topics, BS after BS this JW spewed forth to her. My friend knows where I stand, understands all of the BS I've been thru, and how I feel about ANYONE trying to push their beliefs. She is very open-minded, confesses to being Pagan, she is one of the sweetest, gentle, kind, most caring persons I know.
Well, during the conversation about the conversation for conversion(did I say that?) I basically blew UP and told her I was questioning the almighty, the bible and all blind followers of it, and said I think I want to be a PAGAN NOW! Is there some kind of application, cuz I need one.
HA This is what she sent me:
PAGAN APPLICATION
This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to herein as the "Agreement") is entered into as of the _____ day of __________,2000, by and between
_______________and __________________.
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over - UNLESS IT IS VERY GOOD AND WE NEED TO REPEAT IT IN THE MORNING.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9pm -- (we don't have shit to talk about).
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit-strictly mind blowing-sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions...(ex. Where are we heading withthis? Do you love me - Hell naw- so don't ask stupid shit.)
6. No plans made in advance ... that is why you are called the "backup" unless you are from out of town-then its only a one time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted - (money and diamonds are always good)
8. No baby talk (however, dirty talk is encouraged)
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers (its really none of your damn business)
10. No kissing (too intimate except to other body parts- no mouth
kissing-yuck)
11. No calling each other "friends with benefits" (we are not friends just sex buddies)
12. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended
13. No extra clothing (I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.)
14. No falling asleep right after sex-get your ass up and go home-its over damn it.
15. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it (I don't care).
16. You can not borrow my car for any reason
17. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be,"My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend"
18. Doggie style preferred (just hit it hard and right or get the hell out)
19. Reason for doggie style: the less eye contact the better. (Don't want to look at your ass -just want to have sex with you)
20. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes - ME (so don't keep
calling damn it)
21. The most important one - no condoms - no sex - carry your ass home.
22. Bring your own drink-I am not your liquor store.
23. No phone usage please-don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass.
* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS: The aforementioned rules may
only be altered by the holder
of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any
terms of this Agreement,
this Agreement will automatically become null and void and You will then be removed from the
BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. You will
be BLOCKED from all communications
until your silly ass understands the rules.
Participating Party Signature:
_______________________________
Date:________________
Participating Party Signature:
Date:_______________
***NOTE***
This document may be used and distrubuted by anyone interested, however my only pre-requisite is for some babe to use it on me!!
HeHe.............Have Phun!
All That Could Never Be Said
All That Could Never Be Done
Will Wait for Us At Last,
Somewhere Behind The Sun