Feeling a little weird today

by Bucholz 21 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Bucholz

    Hello everybody, so I've been out of the WT for almost a year now. I did go to the Memorial last year, but that was pretty much the last meeting I attended. Thing is, as a born-in, I have never missed one, this will be the first.

    Don't get me wrong, I have absolutely NO desire to go back, but after all these years there's a weird feeling about it. Also I have run into 2 JW's I hadn't seen in a long time and know I'm out but still speak to me, and both of them invited me to the Memorial. Just 2 minutes ago my grandfather, who had never called me on the phone (but still speaks to me) invited me to attend his.

    Even though I would hate the idea of even coming close to a KH, I'm starting to think about whether I should go or not. What would you do guys?

  • james_woods

    It is a natural feeling - just from the force of habit.

    You are making new habits now - this feeling will eventually go away.

  • LostGeneration

    Its up to you. All of us born ins have serious indoctrination issues, which take years to resolve. Sometimes going to an event like the memorial reminds you how silly the whole religion is, and helps you reaffirm your decision to leave.

    The JWs you are running into are simply inviting you because they think your life is in danger if you don't go, they just don't know any better.

  • anezthy

    The feeling will go away with time. It's just like a divorce. At the beginning you miss your spouse and your marriage. Then the memories just start to fade and you go on with your life in another direction. I wonder if your Grandfather who never calls you was counting his time so he can report it at the end of the month. Live long and enjoy each moment!

  • Dagney

    As born-ins, we have given "the Memorial" its power. It is natural to feel weird about not going.

    Think about where you want your life to go. Where does going to the memorial fit in? Will it help you on your journey to create a new life?

    It will loses its power over time as you place your focus on other things.

    All the best.

  • NewChapter

    It's just an emotion---which sometimes bypasses our thoughts. I can't tell you what to do, but if you choose not to go, that feeling will leave you.
    The first time is the hardest---like the first time I posted here---or the first time I admitted I was an atheist. I knew I was doing the right thing, but still felt weird. I never even think about it now---HOWEVER if I were facing a JW who had this knowledge about me---I'm pretty sure some of those feelings would come back at first.

    For myself, I really don't think anything could ever bring me back into a KH. Not memorial, wedding, funeral---just nothing. The thought of it makes me feel queasy, and I do believe that just the experience would make me physically ill.

    You may feel very differently.


  • jworld

    I was born into the JW's too. I went to the memorial last year, which I knew would be my last.

    A huge shout out to Moshe, I read his memorial write up last year and sat at the KH ticking of every error in the talk. It was like my eyes were finally open. Needless to say, I feel good in not attending this year.

  • Greybeard

    This will be the first one I miss at the KH too. However, I still believe in Christ and am closer to him than ever before. I did partake at home last time after being at the Hall with my wife. While at the Hall, I did not touch the emblems just to pass/reject them. That bothered me.

    The question is, why would you go? For Jesus? For your family? Going to the memorial and passing on the emblems is NOT a command as you probably already know. Why do you really feel bad? You can observe this on your own and if you do believe in Jesus and want to follow him, you can partake by yourself.

    Your brother in Christ,


  • tootired2care

    I too am a born in, and I hope that today will be the last memorial that I ever attend. Next year I'll probably be experiencing the same emotions as you. The struggle for physical and mental freedom will probably be the most challenging one in my life. Reading the comments of those in here who have gotten free and feel much better about life gives me a lot of hope though.

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    It's today?

    This is the first Memorial that I really didn't know about.

  • leavingwt

    Bucholz: Just do whatever you feel like doing. Tomorrow is another day.

  • blond-moment

    It's part of the guilt trip. Mind control runs deep, I think even more so for us born ins. Harder to get to real self than those who started off with a real self. But those mental mind bombs do start to go away.

    Sounds like your gut is telling you not to go, and the guilt trip mind bomb is telling you to go.

  • 00DAD

    Consider going "Jesus-style" - Be invisibly present. - 1 Peter 2:21

    That's how I'm going this year.

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    wifey is going with her family. I'm not, haven't in years. It took a while for it to fade, and I wasn't born in

  • Disillusioned Lost-Lamb
    Disillusioned Lost-Lamb

    Are you considering it just to make your friends happy?

    If you have no desire to ever go back, then why would you go and string them on?

  • diamondiiz

    If you go, partake and get that anointed number north of 12,000 this year. Otherwise, stay home and enjoy a cold one doing something you enjoy. In fact anything is better than going to the KH to listen to BS.

  • Bucholz

    Thanks each and everyone of you for your advice. I decided not to go.

  • xchange

    Watch hockey instead. If you're going to watch things get 'passed' around, might as well be a puck!!!

  • Honesty

    Thanks each and everyone of you for your advice. I decided not to go.

    I believe that you are doing the right thing by not attending.

    Can you imagine how Jesus feels, watching 15-19 million people at His meal and less than 1/10 of 1%

    obeying Him.

  • Heath N
    Heath N

    AWWW Do we have to go? Is there a script of the Memorial available for those not able to go or

    choose not to go?

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