How does my mother manage to sound very convincing about the WTS?

by Inisc 9 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Inisc

  Seriously, the WTS quite often comes upin conversation with my mother,I get all the updates and who was asking about me etc.

  And inevitably I can hold my tongue no longer, tho I'm very careful to phrase everything as a question.

  So, the subject of DFing came up as someone in her cong just got the boot, and we were talking about shunning and why I don't think 'quit mixing with' means quite what the society says it does

  Now, even she doesn't entirely agree with the WT on this one, but then she still defends it and goes on about keeping the cong clean etc.

  And we have also talked about other things I don't agree with, UN, college, spirit appointed elders, 7th king etc.

  And while she doesn't always completely agree with th WT she always defends it and I find myself almost buying into it!

  It's not until later that I can think more clearly and see my original point of view makes much more sense!

  Pits so weird it's like I can't think until I leave her house.

  Does this happen to anyone else?
• 

  No Room For George

  This used to happen to me when I first started articulating my thoughts to mom. She's a second generation regular pioneer, baptized as a kid before she even hit her double digit years, and knows her Bible when it comes to defending WT doctrine. I remember one evening I came over for dinner, and somehow we got into a discussion about that which I can't remember at this time, but when it was all said and done, my father said to me, "You're not going to win against her, she's way ahead of you." I didn't view that as a reason to give up, or accept that she was right, and to be balanced and fair it didn't make me determined to out-argue her either as it's not about competition. Rather it made me more determined than ever to make sure of my own beliefs so that I can articulate what I do agree with the WT on, and what I don't.

  The last time I had a conversation with my mother on something WT related that I didn't agree with, I had her squirming. She looked uncomfortable as if she was in the room with a known serial rapist. Because of that last conversation, without saying so, we've both come to a cease-fire on WT doctrine or organizational matters that I take issue with.

  I think it can be difficult to argue with our mothers, because hey it's mom! That's especially so if we have a good relationship with her. Even Norman Bates couldn't argue with his mother. It's funny how when I discuss these matters with my brother, my sister, and especially my father, I find that they're more inclined to agree with me and even support my arguments. My mother though, she's a lost cause, and at her age that's ok. Let her have that hope.
• 

  ziddina

  How early in your life did your mother become a Jehovah's Witness???

  Because, if you were raised with that influence in your life - especially if it was there before you were 9 - 10 years old, then that belief system was being implanted into your brain before you'd developed critical thinking skills - heck, perhaps even before you'd developed cognitive thinking skills...

  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piaget's_theory_of_cognitive_development

  It's called "imprinting" in waterfowl, and I suspect that the infant human brain has a bit of that behavior left in it, too... So, if you were exposed at an early age, you didn't get the opportunity to come up with effective counter-arguments before you were urged/coerced/intimidated into accepting the Watchtower Corporation's "theology" as "truth"...

  Hope this helps...

  Zid
• 

  undercover

  if you were raised with that influence in your life - especially if it was there before you were 9 - 10 years old, then that belief system was being implanted into your brain before you'd developed critical thinking skills - heck, perhaps even before you'd developed cognitive thinking skills...

  I like that explanation... and I'm sure it has some technical term among the pshychology folks. And the fact that it's mom probably would give Freud something to chime in with as well...

  I've been there. You know what you know, but you get caught up in a "debate" and find yourself unable to overcome their line of reasoning, even when you know it's faulty. It takes time but you do get to where you can easily deal with similar situations. Part of it is coming to a firm understanding of exactly what you find most disconcerting and reprehensible about the WTS/JWs and focus on that. Trying to jump around from subject to subject plays right into their hands, because they can't ever finish a thought in a coherent manner. They're really naive, so they just spout what they heard/read and move on to the next subject of which they think they are experts on because they read WT mags.

  Another struggle is trying to get them to look at it from your side, any side, but the WTS side. We've been on their side, can see it from their perspective, but until they become open minded, they'll never look at it from any other point of view. Then you learn that, unless they ask you questions and you get a hint of disgruntledness from them, it's best to leave them alone. Don't argue/debate/discuss it. It's like arguing with a wall.
• 

  Nambo

  Its called Idolatry, most people worship thier religion rather than God, the Jews did it 2000 years ago and JWs do it now and when the "Two Witnesses" come for real, most JWs are going too join the rest of the world in having them slain, because they allready know that the Two Witnesses are the Bible and the Great Pyramid!

  (Or has this doctrine of men also changed?)

  Those who are truly Christs will follow the Lamb wherever he goes.
• 

  Disillusioned Lost-Lamb

  Parents, and especially mothers, must have a switch implanted in their children's brains that overrides all normal rational.
• 

  Phizzy

  DLL I agree, I think it springs from a combination of love and respect. What we forget when we give in to this, and therefore do not speak out, is that their beliefs DO NOT DESERVE RESPECT !

  Just because they have held a belief all their lives, it does not make it true, and really, though they may be upset for a while, we should express our point of view, we deserve as much love and respect directed to us from them as we are prepared to give them.

  They want it, expect it, all one way, that is just not fair.

  All the arguments and ideas presented by our family are false, we need to have the courage to point out the fallacy in their argument each time.

  Please send strength vibes to me so that I am powerful enough to do so in the future !
• 

  Inisc

  Well I'm certainly glad it's not just me!

  I was born in and my mother was born in too, so it's imprinted into her brain to the point that it makes up most of her personality. And that is despite the fact she doesn't agree with everything 100%.

  I can have debates with my wife and my sister and bro in law(he's non jw tho) discuss everything to n'th degree and it all makes sense, but with my mother, she manages to make the WTS sound so god damn wonderful like she has some kind of weird brain mushing hypnotism trick up her sleeve!

  I feel better knowing its not just me tho, thanks everyone.
• 

  thetrueone

  How does my mother manage to sound very convincing about the WTS?

  Because thats exactly how she has been trained to talk and coerce people toward the WTS.

  All the mental programing that she has personal acquired about other religions, as well of the WTS./JWS

  has been mentally indoctrinated by the WTS. The unfortunate part is she isn't aware of the corruption and lies that make

  up this organization. Since the WTS. has posed a life or death situation toward her, as to her support of this organization,

  it's not surprising that she and many others are so steadfastly devoted, even to the extent of encouraging you to return for your own personal welfare.

  It does take a bit of understanding of human psychology with some compassion to realize your mother's devotion to the WTS.
• 

  Crisis of Conscience

  Generally I speak to my father about my concerns with the org. Though by the WTS standards he is considered inactive, he still defends a lot of the teachings, mainly that regarding the FDS.

  However, there is a way I stay focused and not get shaken by what somebody says in defense of the WTS. It is by realizing that often what is passed off as a defense is actually an excuse. We wouldn't let anybody get away with failed prophecys/explanations, etc. But there is always an excuse as to why the WTS is right despite countless mistakes. That irritates me to no end. And it shuts me down from accepting any nonsense.

  Hope that helps. Stay strong and get educated.

  CoC