Learn The Theocratic Language

by metatron 3 Replies latest jw friends

  • metatron
    metatron

    After several shots of liquid derived from fermented potatoes (well, gin gives me a headache), I will help you with terminology that dominates the sad, insular world of the "truth"

    Privilege - (n.) -an ironic term, carries an opposite meaning. Supposedly something rare and treasured but in the Witness world refers to something you want to avoid, like being an elder, carrying the mics or anything else that they want to sucker you into doing. If you are a newly appointed elder, beware of the Theocratic Ministry School "privilege" as the current one probably wants to 'gift' you with the 'privilege'.

    Encourage (v.) - to nag, harrass, bother or verbally manipulate into doing something undesired. Really, do I need to expand on this one?

    Certainly (adj.) - another ironic term. Means the opposite and is used to convey conviction about something that is truthfully indefinite, bogus or speculative, as in "Certainly, the End is Soon". See also, "Surely" ( as in 'stop calling me Surely')

    Truth - (n.) - as above, this includes outright deception, hype, spin or raw lies that wouldn't mislead a mongrel dog but somehow convince the average Witness

    Singleness - (n.) - a condition desired by the married and loathed by those without mates. Notice that those who give the most praiseworthy comments about this state often have a wife and three kids sitting next to them.

    Paying attention (n.) - a semi-hypnotized mental state in which you drift off into mindless reverie or fantasy while enduring painfully boring cult-entrancement sessions called meetings. Leads to private thoughts about what would happen if you started screaming obscenities mindlessly or tried to assault that African -American 40-ish sister with the bustline that seems to defy gravity. Can cause Turrette's Syndrome.

    metatron

  • Retrovirus
    Retrovirus

    "Evidently" - introduction to unsupported assertion, as in "Jesus evidently meant two overlapping generations".

  • Ding
    Ding

    "Reasonably, then" = "We have absolutely no evidence of this"

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    There are numerous other terms that don't make sense. Pioneering is the biggest of these--to me, a true pioneer is the one that prepares the way for others to follow. Just because you spend much more time doing something doesn't mean you are preparing the way for others. How in hell can one prepare the way for others simply by running around in the same territories that have been worked 50 sesagillion times before, just by wasting extra hours doing so?

    Rather, pio-sneering or pious-sneering is more accurate. These people are commonly the ones that are self-righteous and hound and harass everyone to do it. They claim that, unless you do it, you are going to die. Sure, some get scammed into it and others actually believe they are doing a good deed and sacrifice much to do it. However, most sacrifice much to get that self-righteous attitude of doing more. They actually prepare nothing for anyone.

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