Hypocrite much?

lilbluekitty

So my mom and I have an odd relationship. We live 2,000 or so miles apart and seem to have a better relationship now that we're so far apart. We call each other fairly often on the phone.

Last month, I got a pretty sweet Christmas-y Pottery Barn catalog with gorgeous ornaments in it. I called my mom and asked her if she got her catalog yet and we gushed for quite awhile about how gorgeous the ornaments were. But get this, my mom is a 2nd generation JW! Not only that, even though she's a woman, she has a pretty high administrative position in the RBC (quick builds, she attends special meetings and works on a laptop in one of the trailers at builds, and also loves to brag about it.) At the end of the conversation, she sobered up and said to me, "You're not going to decorate a tree are you?" I was taken aback since I WAS in fact going to decorate my first tree ever and was going to go shopping for it that week! I couldn't bring myself to tell her so I simply asked her, "Why would you ask me something like that?" because she had been appalled at the fact my father called me an apostate when I told him I was "spiritually digging" and later, when I told him I believe the Holy Spirit is a person, not a magical force. She dropped it after that.

Today we were talking about music, Josh Groban in particular, because she likes his music. I asked if she had heard "O Holy Night" by him, since that's her secret guilty pleasure, she's always loved that song and even sang it when it came on the radio. (She was born-in, like me.) She got all quiet. I said, isn't it a beautiful song, and there's nothing scripturally wrong with it. She said, I know it's beautiful, that's why I can't listen to it anymore. I was like, what? She refused to talk about it and went on to "You Raise Me Up" which is rather religious-sounding to me. The other day I had emailed her the Chipmunks song where one of them says "Me, I want a hula hoop" as part of some Christmas song they do that always made my mom and I giggle as JWs and even sing it in the car. She emailed me back and said, Oh how cute or something. But today she won't even discuss O Holy Night, which she used to say was such a lovely song!

Do any of you have parents or relatives or whatever who are hypocritical like this? We always had a turkey on Thanksgiving, we just didn't call it that. We always had all the trimmings. We had costume parties instead of Halloween. On our birthdays my mom would tell my sister and I about the day we were born. But if I discuss something, after awhile she gets all bent out of shape and tries to deny that she likes this or that which JWs can't do. It's sickening.

Oh, and I'm not worried about being DF'd (I refuse to meet with any elders if they try to contact me) or about being labelled an apostate, since I already have been by my dad and sister, in case anyone thinks I'm treading on thin ice. =P

sizemik

It is hypocrisy in the strict sense . . . but you'd be hard pressed to find a JW who isn't a hypocrite in some area.

When we were JW's we regularly purchased chocolate eggs and hot-x buns at easter . . . we treated it as a conscience matter and it certainly didn't bother ours. So in many eyes we were seen as hypocrites.

If your Mum steps outside the boundaries occasionally, see it as the emergence of her authentic (as opposed to cult) personality, and subtly encourage it. It's being a JW that is making her hypocritical (by not strictly obeying the WTS) . . . not the enjoyment of music or holidays.

Discussing it with her at length will undoubtedly make her uncomfortable . . . so keep it in the comfort zone. The cognitive dissonance produced by her apparent hypocrisy is a good thing to encourage . . . subtly of course. She has a liking for these things and therefore a "weakness" from the WTS viewpoint. See it as appealing to the authentic self . . . you never know, but it can only do her good.

NewChapter

A JW hypocrite. Sort of redundant. There is no way to be a good witness without being a hypocrite. I remember I was out in service one day with a pioneer, and this house had this fairy in the yard. I said I thought it was pretty---I always found fairies pretty. She said that's why they are pretty, to stumble me. So like you mother, I doubled down. If I found something beautiful, I distanced myself as much as possible.

I still think fairies are pretty--and I like the notion of them. I don't believe in them of course, but I love fantasy. Maybe one day your mother will enjoy what she loves too.

NC

DesirousOfChange

I think the hypcrite subject is a lose/lose debate for a JW, no matter how you look at it.

1) If they are a superduper JDub, self-righteous, superfine appostle type, who follows all the JW doctrine to the "T", then they could be labeled a hypocrite by saying they fail to follow the Bible's standards to love their neighbors, be forgiving, not judgemental, etc etc

2) If they are the "critical thinking" JDub who has gotten to the point of picking & choosing which of the JW doctrine they agree & follow vs. using the "matter of conscience decision" loophole when they choose to step outside the strict confines of JDub-land, then they'd be labedel a hypocrite because they claim the title (JW) but are not a true 100% good cult member. Similar to a Catholic who uses birth control or a "RINO" republican.

PS -- and we know that all of us "faders" are considered hypocrites by many of those who have boldly taken the plunge jumped off the cliff and done the DA thing.

DOC

truth_b_known

A few years back I was shocked to find out my sister, who is still in, held a "Toy Day" party for her daughter. Not only her, but a friend of hers in the congregation who has a son the same age. On Toy Day family and friends come to your Toy Day party and give you wrapped gifts.

The big shocker to me was that my parents attended and brought gifts. My parents are old school, hardcore JWs who can find fault with just about everything, especially if it is fun or pleasurable.

designs

Two religious people banging heads is not going to turn out well. On my Facebook page a mother and xjw-born again christian was locking horns with her jw daughter, both feeling like the other was trying to convert them and neither could see the problem was their religious views.

NewChapter

I remember we had a "costume" party. We all dressed up. We had music. We had food. We played games. In other words, we did exactly what people do at Halloween parties except it was summer and we said a prayer before eating. How does the DAY we choose change anything? Yet we were sure it had.

NC

Morbidzbaby

All of these examples of "celebrating, but not REALLY celebrating" are making me realize one thing.

JW's like to portray that their children don't "miss out" on Christmas and Birthdays, Halloween and Easter, etc. Their children don't feel bad that they cannot participate. Yet, the adults feel the need to have "Toy Day", "Costume Parties", a turkey and trimmings on Thanksgiving, etc....so their kids won't feel left out. Isn't that also hypocritical? "They don't feel left out because we do this stuff because they feel left out".

Hypocrite much?

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