How do the friends you have now compare to the Witness friends you had before ?

troubled mind

I must share my recent experience . I was raised a witness until I left 6 yrs ago at 44 . I had lots of good aquantances ,but not one close to my bosom best friend . All our relationships had conditions upon them ,at least that was the case for my family .

When I faded six yrs ago I made it a point to reach out and make new friends . I found that people are open and accepting . One of my work mates has become my best friend .She has included me into her already established group of friends and they openly accepted me . Another friend which left the same congregation as me has introduced me to her husbands relatives and friends ,and once again I have been included into the group . It is so different to just be accepted for who you are and not judged .

With my recent surgery my friend came to the hospital with my husband and me ,she never left my side through the whole process ( I didn't have to ask she just knew how scared i was ) After the operation I had complications with the pain medication and stopped breathing she stayed by my side all night long in a recliner watching over me . I am 50 yrs old and have never experienced this kind of friendship and loyalty . It is amazing and you can believe she knows how much I value her kindness . She is always trying to get me to attend church with her ,but even though I refuse she continues to be my friend (A witness would never do that )

The other friends I have made have already been bringing food ,making plans to drive me to dr appointments ect ... I have never been treated so well in my life . As a witness I had three surgeries , and never did I have this kind of help .

So if you are lurking do not believe it when you hear how horrible your life will be with out the 'friends'.....it is not true .

talesin

I need surgery .... it's a 2-year wait here, but I can get it in 4 mos. if I can travel to another location .... one of my 'casual' friends called me up and said she would drive me to that city, and absorb the costs (ie, taking time off work, and GAS), to get me to my necessary appts.

Even my own family would not do this for me.

I think that answers the question.

t

Morbidzbaby

I can completely empathize with you, troubled mind! I had 5 surgeries while I was a JW. In all of them, I had only TWO sisters who came to see me in the hospital...and honestly, I think it was to see the baby more than to see me. I had outpatient surgery twice and missed meetings because of them and didn't get even one phone call. When I was growing up, I used to hear announcements that meals were needed for so-and-so because they were sick/had a death in the family/had a baby. We never got any of that. My mom spend MONTHS in bed, and my brother and I had to fend for ourselves. Nobody cared.

The friends I have now are wonderful. I made easy friends with people at work. They accept me even though I don't believe as they do. I have a very good friend who values my friendship...she's actually my boyfriend's best friend's wife...so we hang out as couples and it's a lot of fun. I can be myself, and they love me for who I am. They are there for us when we need them and vise versa. It's such a difference from the "friends" I left behind. One was my best friend from childhood and I had to stop associating with her simply because I knew she would snitch on me if I even dared to speak against the org...even though she had her own doubts.

I agree...lurkers need to understand that when the Watchtower Society tells you that you will be unhappy and that worldly people will chew you up and spit you out, they are telling you that in order to scare you into staying within the confines of the organization. Plenty of us on this board are living proof that it just isn't true. Sure, there are bad people no matter where you go...but they aren't as plentiful as the Society would have you believe.

troubled mind

Talesin...that is shocking you have to wait so long ...I am so glad you have someone so kind to assist you .

Morbidzbaby....I always thought here was something wrong with me when I was a Witnees ,when all along it was just that I was raised in a cult ! It is so wonderful to know you are liked just for being yourself and not because you qualify as acceptable association because of some crazy religions checklist

juni

My present friends appreciate me for who I am. We agree to disagree and we respect each others' opinions. We stay in contact by phone even though we are busy and we MAKE time to get together. I've learned that a true friend will have your back, but also will be honest with you. I like that.

I had many Witness friends, but those friendships were conditional. I never felt comfortable being the REAL me around them. Some were more "lenient" with their judgments, but I always felt "on guard" w/what I said or did for the most part. Then I got to the stage where I didn't care anymore - that tends to weed biased people out. There are those whom I still feel a bond with because of what we went through together and they are just good people.

I believe there are good and bad people in the organization and out. One has to choose their friends carefully. I have many aquaintances, but few very good friends anymore.

amicus

Talesin, have you ever considered nutritional options? Don't let these butchers cut or burn you until you have given your body the nutrients you need to be healthy. I know it sounds like old JW crap...but they were not always wrong.

talesin

amicus,

I had a traumatic injury,,, my friend's wheelchair ran into my foot, and YES, I have used massage, etc.,, but something is torn inside,

talesin

oops, pressed the wrong button,,,

but, yes, I am a firm believer in healing a lot of health problems via nutrition instead of drugs,,, unfortunately, this is a mechanical problem,,, so I must rely on doctors and most likely surgery for a solution.

I agree with your way of looking at health, though, and thank you.

xo

tal

Aussie Oz

they can't compare, and they don't!

When i left, i thought i had great friends but they turned out to be conditional aquantances at best.

When i left my wife and the cong, i was inactive. I was not DF and had done nothing that should be known to my 'friends'. Two years went by with not one single solitary one coming to see me, calling me or asking after me. Some of these i had known since i was a kid, so called best friends never never made contact. these were people we stayed with on our honeymoon, these were people who we helped riase their kids, these were people who seemed to nurture me. but it all stopped cold the day i moved out of the family home.

The only person to ever visit me was a brothr who i scarcely knew. Every week he would come by to chat, nothing more.

After i was out for some time, a former best friend who ended up DF and divorced came lookig for me and we had a catch up. But she was going after reinstatement so i realized that i wouldnt be hearing from her again either. She was my ex's best friend, and told me many things she didnt think my ex was right in.

Jehovah's witnesses do not have friends and do not know the meaning of the word.

oz

How do the friends you have now compare to the Witness friends you had before ?

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