Songs About JWs

by blondie 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • blondie
    blondie

    Are there songs other than these?

    EELS

    Jehovah's witness leave me alone
    Jehovah's witness i'm not at home
    Keep on a-knockin' and ringin' the bells
    Knockin' your way straight to hell

    Jehovah's witness let's not pretend
    That for one second you are my friend
    Knock on my door and i'll turn out the light
    Close the curtains and turn in for the night
    (From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/eels-lyrics/jehovah_s-witness-lyrics.html)

    Jehovah's witness why must it be
    Just when i'm feeling good i look out and see
    You walking up in your very nice suit
    Like i'm some old lady who'll give up her loot

    Jehovah's witness leave me alone
    Jehovah's witness i'm not at home

    JOANIE, THE JEHOVAH'S WITNESS STRIPPER

    she drives a new car
    wears expensive blouses
    she tells her mama
    she's cleaning houses

    she goes out witnessing
    doing the lords work all week long
    but on the weekend
    she's making ends meet

    Joanie, the Jehovah Witness Stripper
    Put a dollar in her G String
    and she'll deliver
    if her daddy only knew
    he'd probably kill her
    Joanie, the Jehovah Witness Stripper

    One night down at the club
    Her daddy walked in
    He didn't recognize
    His daughter dancin

    She wore a blonde wig
    He had sunglasses
    When she got naked
    he started clappin

    Well Joanie, the Jehovah Witness Stripper
    put a dollar in her G string
    and she'll deliver
    if her daddy only knew
    he'd probably kill her
    Joanie, the Jehovah Witness Stripper

    If you ask her why she does it
    she looks as if this way
    she says I'm countin my blessings
    every night when I get paid

    she once lived in poverty
    now everythings all right
    The Lord showed her how to make
    1000 dollars a night

    Oh Joanie, the Jehovah Witness Stripper
    put a dollar in her G string
    and she'll deliver
    If her daddy only knew,
    he probably kill her
    Joanie, The Jehovah Witness Stipper

    Joanie, The Jehovah Witness Stipper

    or this one

    Kingdom Hall by Van Morrison (I think he must have been very young and had a faulty memory)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAu8TWJTd-M

    So glad to see you
    So glad you're here
    Come here beside me now
    We can clear inhibition away
    All inhibitions
    Throw them away
    And when we dance like this
    Like we've never been dancin' before

    Chorus:
    Oh, they were swingin'
    Down at Kingdom Hall
    Oh, bells were ringin'
    Down at the Kingdom Hall
    A choir was singin'
    Down at the Kingdom Hall
    Hey, liley, liley, liley
    Hey, liley, liley, low
    Do do do do do do, do
    Do do do do do do
    Do do do do do do, do
    Do do do do do do

    Good body music
    Brings you right here
    Free flowin' motion now
    When we're shakin' it out on the floor
    Good rockin' music
    Down in your shoes
    And when we dance like this
    Like we've never been dancin' before

    Repeat Chorus

    Down at the Kingdom Hall
    They were havin' a party
    They were havin' a ball
    Bells were ringing out
    And the choir was singin'
    Hey, liley, liley, liley
    Hey, liley, liley, low
    Do do, do do, do do, do do
    Sugar was there
    Did you see Sugar
    Down at the Kingdom Hall
    Sugar was tough

  • finallysomepride
    finallysomepride

    JOANIE, THE JEHOVAH'S WITNESS STRIPPER

    I knew about this one, but the other 2 never heard of them, geees what planet have i been living on

  • finallysomepride
    finallysomepride

    Van Morrison, it didn't make it into his greatest hits or best of albums LLOL

  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    I never heard the Van Morrison song or I never caught the lyrics. Thanks for the post. It seems strange for me for anyone to mention JW stuff. I wish Michael Jackson had written a big hit based on the Witnesses. When I was growing up, it was a very big deal that there was a Dr. Kildare with Richard Chamberlin where a Witness refused a blood transfusion. It was amazing to hear the word Jehovah's Witness on TV entertainment. Another celebrity was Dritz of Dritz sewing goods. There was a strong rumor that Jackie Kennedy answered her door and had an exchange with Witnesses going door to door. I believed it at the time. I doubt Jackie ever answered any door herself.

  • mamamo
    mamamo

    The Van Morrison song just blew me away. He seriously must have been confused about where he was. Sounds like a Southern Penecostal church to me. Getting the spirit, rocking the building. Maybe the others are from after I left in 1990?

  • Sobeit
    Sobeit

    Made an 80 year old woman laugh. Sent it to daughters

  • nateb
    nateb

    I'm pretty sure Goodbye Stranger by Supertramp is about a discussion with a couple of sisters.

  • Darth Rutherford
    Darth Rutherford

    Heard that "Never Know" by Jack Johnson was about the Witnesses: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_j6ZEOXoNvw

    Never Know - Jack Johnson (Album: In Between Dreams)

    i heard this old story before
    if people keep appealing for the metaphors
    don't leave much up to the imagination

    so i wanna give this imagery back
    but i know it just ain't so easy like that
    so, i turn the page and read the story again
    and again and again

    it just seems the same
    with a different name
    we're breaking and rebuilding
    and we're growing
    always guessing

    never knowing
    shocking but we're nothing
    we're just moments
    we're clever but we're clueless
    we're just human
    amusing and confusing
    we're trying
    but where is this all leading
    we'll never know

    it all happened so much faster
    than you could say disaster
    wanna take a time lapse
    and look at it backwards
    from the last one
    and maybe that's just the answer
    that we're after but after all
    we're just a bubble in a boiling pot
    just one breath in a chain of thought
    the moments just combusting
    feel certain but we'll never never know
    just seems the same
    give it a different name
    we're begging and we're needing
    and we're trying and we're breathing

    never knowing
    shocking but we're nothing
    we're just moments
    we're clever but we're clueless
    we're just human
    amusing and confusing
    we're helping
    we're building and we're growing
    we'll never know

    knock-knock on the door to door
    tell ya that the metaphor is better than yours
    and you can either sink or swim
    things are looking pretty grim
    if you don't believe in what this one feeding
    it's got no feeling
    so i read it again
    and again and again
    just seems the same
    so many different names
    our hearts are strong
    our hands are weak
    we'll always be competing

    never knowing
    shocking but we're nothing
    we're just moments
    we're clever but we're clueless
    we're just human
    amusing, confusing
    but the truth is
    all we got is questions
    we'll never know

  • blondie
    blondie

    Blanks 77 - Jehovahs Witness Lyrics

    Here they come knocking at my door don't wanna hear it, can't take it no more i'm still sleeping, can't you see jehovahs witness, bothering me We don't want no pamphlets no donation from me, you brainwashed tons o' people but you'll never fool me Get your hand outta the collection plate! save that for the god you create! chapels are made of silver and gold your teaching is a scam for the money you hold Why can't people just think for themselves organized religion's a joke believe what they say, don't question the word I can't take it no more! You drink his blood and eat his flesh sounds pretty sick to me why don't you just shut your mouth why don't you just let me be! http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=426954805252&topic=18073
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcmSvqL1LnQ
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4kxz8DOSOw
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6hSv984H_Q
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Yfzu-NsZAc
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oInkMxp_KCE&feature=related
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mBaTfSqjjc
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNvxHZWekhg
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6hSv984H_Q
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jF3Fcll51nc
    My humorous version of the Beatles hit: Helter Skelter, retitled: Watchtower Elder:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Yfzu-NsZAc


    My humorous version of the Beatles: Back in the USSR:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oInkMxp_KCE&feature=related


    My humorous (and quite unique) version of the Beatles’ I am the Walrus in which I read from various Watchtower magazines, to the tune of this song:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mBaTfSqjjc


    My humorous version of the Beatles song: Eight days a Week:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNvxHZWekhg


    My humorous version of the Beatles: Get Back, rewritten about the 1914, 1925 and 1941 Watchtower false prophecies of Armageddon on those three dates:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jF3Fcll51nc


    My humorous version of: Let’s Stick Together, rewritten about the first five Watchtower Presidents:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VYYFbRk2bg


    The Drifter’s hit: Up on the Roof, a song about Mr Pepper at Beth Sarim:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3gV96vdICs


    Brian Adam’s hit: The Summer of 69 completely rewritten about the Watchtower’s 1975 false prophecy that Armageddon would occure in October 1975.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BJehAdPvro


    A comedy version of Elvis’ hit: It’s Now or Never, sung about Jehovah’s Witnesses:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2V_MUd_V_DA


    The Beatles: ‘Paperback Writer’ rewritten about Rutherford’s 1925 false prophecy:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4zDkUv-0xk


    The Beatles Song: ‘Can’t buy me love,’ retitled: ‘Don’t teach me crap:’

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7gaZ0ZhIW4


    The Beatles song: ‘Penny Lane’ retitled ‘New Light:’

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txq5DZs9pFY


    Michael Jackson’s Thriller: With funny new lyrics about the Jehovah’s Witnesses:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MP2YxrkTumM


    My favourite Kingdom melody: ‘We are Jehovah’s Witnesses.’

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvkGnakZtx0


    The Sex Pistol’s song: ‘Anarchy in the UK’ with new lyrics about attending a Jehovah’s Witness Kingdom Hall: ‘Theocratic Ministry School,’ on a Thursday.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD2DkbdYNnw


    The Robbie Williams song: ‘Let me Entertain you,’ comically rewritten about Jehovah’s Witnesses pioneering and retitled: ‘Free Home Bible Study:’

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMfv1Nnvul4
    about 4 months ago · Report
  • Eddie Grey A comedy version of the Rolling Stones song: ‘Jumping Jack Flash,’ which has been rewritten about Leo Greenless and Ewart Chitty who were gay members of the Jehovah’s Witness Governing body. This song is sung in an Indian accent with a sitar.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJS5PhYGOAQ





    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcWWWEOHSbE
    about a month ago · Report
  • ziddina
    ziddina

    Wowwiiiiieeeee...

    I'm going to have to check out this "Jehovah's Witness Rapper" on YouTube...

    Thanks, Blondie!!

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