"How the hell do you get baptized while being nailed to a tree"

by trueblue 3 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  trueblue

  Took Mother to a meeting one time and this lady asks me "are you one of us?" I looked at her like, I don't know man, I just come down from outer space, are you one of us... and she rephrased her guestion to "are you baptized?" I said no... felt like saying no I wouldn't want to be one of you! Later in a meeting she makes a comment about being baptized is cruicial to being saved, like have to be baptized...

  Just thinking about the account when Jessus was put up on the stake (like it makes a dam bit of diff if he was on a stake or a cross) but anyway the two criminals that were executed next to Jessus, one of them asks Jessus "What do I need to do to be saved?" and Jessus said "I will see you in paradise"

  The moral of the story "How the hell do you get baptized while being nailed to a tree"
• 

  MrMonroe

  Fair point, trueblue. You'd think Jesus would have told him, "I'll see you in paradise ... after you've gone and knocked on some doors and placed some literature in imitation of ... well, me, I suppose!"
• 

  finallysomepride

  make sure the swimming pool can handle the stake as well
• 

  trueblue

  Telling someone they have to place leterature or else, to me is a threat and a form of persicution. I have always worked for myself, and never even use an alarm clock. I do as I felt sent to do, and I don't do anything until I am ready to do so. When ever I come to a gathering to go out in service I reply that I feel sent to go out in service and it a great honor to be doing something for our God, they act like they don't like that... hell they even want to tell you when to sit down.

  Before I started going to meeting on a regular basess I was accused of a crime but the district attorney had the case thrown out of court, I got the feeling the JW's had made their minds up that I am a criminal. I am not a crimminal, in fact I am one of the hardest working people there is, I like working very hard and I get very irate when someone follows me to work as the JW's do. They follow me all over the place, so when I was about to be baptised I did something so they would not baptize me so they would think it was their idea and when they started follwing me again, I pretend to be remorseful and had them build a gate accross the front of my house and I closed it behind them and locked them out.

  They split my famally when I was very young and had to raise myself. They never was there when I needed someone and never had a dad growing up and I aint going to start now.