How long would this be allowed?

by Lynnie 5 Replies latest jw friends

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  Lynnie

  I have a cousin that is born-in but never went for the JW's throughout her entire childhood and until this day, she's 30 now. Her dad is an uber elder and her 2 sisters are very devoted as well. Now she's talking about "going back" to the KH etc because she thinks now this is the place she belongs.

  My question is: She's living with someone "in sin"; has a FB page; goes to rock/rap music concerts all the time etc. How long would she be allowed to hang out at the KH with folks before they told her she needed to "progress"? Would she be allowed to attend meetings indefinitely without doing any field service? Wouldn't she be viewed as a "fornicator" since she's living in sin? She's not DF'd, never baptised. Not sure why now she wants to go back (it maybe just a passing thought since her grandma died earlier this year) but I'm just wondering how much she's going to have to change her lifestyle or does she at all?

  Will the other elders besides her elder dad put their foot down and say she needs to be married etc or just let her go along on her own terms forever?

  I can't imagine her going out in service ever again and isn't that pretty much required if you are to be considered a member of the congregation?
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  Scarred for life

  This is probably just a passing phase. She probably is feeling the urge to reconnect with family and explore a spiritual/religious life. She can find that with another more loving church.
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  NewChapter

  As long as she's not baptized, she's 'allowed' to do all those things. But the pressure will be on for her to get married and go out in service. She won't be allowed to go out in service as long as she lives with her boyfriend. I don't know about the FB page---there are a lot of warnings, but as far as I can tell, it's not a judicial issue. Witnesses still have them, but some are 'moved' to delete them after having it hammered in their heads for a weekend. I see them reactivated all the time.

  So if she 'progresses' to wanting to be baptized, she will make all these changes, and she will think she made the decision herself for Jehovah. I don't think they'll consider her for baptism unless she works in service, so the changes will likely come quite a while before baptism.

  Send her here if you can.

  NC
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  wha happened?

  I have a friend who's circumstances are very very similar. She's also about the same age, a little older. My friend wasn't baptized and she left when she was 17. She's studying again and wants in. I don't know why and when I ask, I get generic answers like, Oh I didn't know there was so much growth. (vomit). My friend is getting loved bombed right now but I know that will eventually end. I just can't figure out the WHY.

  Now I have a workmate who was living with a inactive JW. He started to study and got the pressure to marry which they did. Their divorced now. The elders were patient for a bit, but then they started to ratchet up the pressure over time. I imagine they will for your friend as well.
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  NewChapter

  Wha---send your friend here. Love bombing feels great---let her know what it feels like to be shunned. Warn her the love bombing just stops when they got her.
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  wha happened?

  I wish I could, but I can't. She is still in touch with her JW family and I don't want her telling her family I'm sending her to "apostate" sites. Her family trusts me to help her when she needs it but they had a real problem when they found out I was inactive. Right now I have credibility because they expect me to crumb on their religion, but I never say a word.

  My friend, needs to get the full JW experiance. Although her family has for the most part, abandoned her because she was never baptized, they are still very important to my friend. I have to be very careful because it would be easy for them to call me an apostate and write me off. I want to be around for my friend.