I heard at quote at my graduation in 2008 from High School.It went like this " Kids yearn to grow up because they feel the restrictions of being children and yearn to be children when they are adults". I wonder to myself do you as adults get more mean and cynical as we get older?
Yearning to be children
It's strange , but since leaving the WT I have become a split personality. I do not suffer fools gladly, will point out logical fallacies, be very grumpy about a lot of things, especially other peoples driving, and I will speak my mind much more.
The other personality is very tolerant of other peoples view point unless it is harmful to others, I am more compassionate and see why people are as they are, and, most importantly I have re-kindled a childlike joy in life and in learning.
I find I can live with both aspects of myself quite happily, but it makes for some difficult internal conversations.
Kid's want freedom to do anything they want because they've got few responsibilities and plenty of time for fun.
Adults have the freedom to have fun but have got more responsibilities and less time for it, and so wish they were children again.
Wise words Wobble. We don't need to define/confine ourselves as essentially this or that, just learn to enjoy the variety: grumpy or generous, serious or playfull, considerate or spontanoues.
As a Witness we were told we needed to "put away the old personality", "put aside childish things", "make your mind over", "press on to maturity". Not very comfortable expressions; not a very authentic existence.
When I was young, I wanted to dedicate my life to helping the poor and wretched. Florence Nightingale and the doctors serving in Africa with the World Health Organization appealed to me. I am very urban, however. All my teen girl books had heroines that served as nurses, teachers, etc. As I grew older, I changed my focus to learning such secretarial skills that I could be a secretary at Apple in London and work with the Fab Four.
I came of age during the Viet Nam War and civil rights movements, political activism held that being a do-gooder was serving the man. The Peace Corps, which so appealed to me, was now out of the question. Through the movement, I came into touch with lawyers. Many times I thought they were rude and heartless with their matter of fact approach.
School socialized me. Now I am what I would have called a b....h in my youth. Part of this is more sophistication and learning business models of behavior. As I face my personal problems, many of which include the Witnesses, I have less energy to sit and hear sob stories from others. I still want to be effective and help.
The outward veneer is markedly different. Society has changed its expectations of women. Deference is no longer a great role. I'd say I remain the same basic person inside. I still want to carry out a social gospel mission.
My childhood was mostly pure horror. I don't miss all the KH meetings and silly kill-fun rules. Sometimes I wish I could redo my childhood. I joined a group to actively change my childhood programming. It is awkward and clunky but I see the true inner child emerge more and more. My sister, in reaction to the family abuse, confided to 7-year old me that she wanted to be a baby again. She was still a baby in my eyes. I knew what she meant more than she did. Yet I could do nothing to help her, save reassure her.
Band on the Run- I often wish I could start over and get raised by parents that would take care of me and teach me basic life skills I've had to learn the hard way...
In some ways I'm nicer after leaving JW's I see humans without judgement. But, I'm a nurse and my job in a lot of ways makes you a bit hard.
so yes and no for me
Since I have come of age I feel angry at the world and do yearn to go back to time when I was ignorant of the world. I have to say growing up and understanding this depressing world sucks. Their is no happy medium in this life and it only gets harder as you get older. It is true hell is our daily lives.