Continous thought about the existense of God, the creator deity and the source of the supernatural can be very confusing, and if not properly checked and put under control, It can lead to mental issues. Coming along with this experience is also the JW sophistications.
From all dimensions, The JW experience has been proven to be a terrible one, the more I think of it, the more horrible it feels inward, some may wish to reverse time and live differently without the JW acquiantance while others may feel the experience had its own benefit despite enormous odds, It might have given them the opportunity to see the world from a different perspective while for some it was a complete waste of time.
Those who finally discovered the deceits of the organisation and its destructive machinations but still remained in like myself are finding everyday life difficult, The thought of being abandoned and shunned by 9 family members is terrifying. Attending all the meetings and not finding joy in them anymore is not just a waste of time but an abuse of the human mind. But the JWs don't care.
A workmate asked me today why was I speaking to myself all alone, I was uncounscious of it, but it just came naturally, the exit process of leaving the organisation is troubling emotionally. No one arround you sees your point and all your reasons are invalid. You just have to pretend everything is allright when the JWs are arround. You feel completely disconnected from the people, but you can't express your feelings. They feel their organisation is Noah's ark and it represents the only vessel for survival and they are heavily wrapped up in this illussion, any contending opinion is a threat and must be cast away.
Please tell me how it went while you were planning your exit, which tools have proved productive. Do you have the urge to always express opinions contrary to the organisations'?, how does it feel to pretend ?.